“Where is she?” demands Mom.
Her weakness for this girl makes me furious, and the anger is so near my throat that I can’t keep from lashing out. “Aquarius offered me a way to save Nishi—a trade for a less broken Luminary. So I offered him your daughter.”
Pain explodes across my cheek, and I lose my balance and topple into the wall.
She slapped me. I cup the left side of my face, water welling in my eyes as I glare at her. My breaths are loud and shallow, and my vision grows red.
As Mom glowers back at me, a feral expression comes over her face that I’ve seen before. On the day the Maw bit Stanton. It’s how she looked an instant before she destroyed it.
“I was wrong about you,” I say between breaths. “You are capable of motherly love. I guess it was just me who never inspired it in you.”
Her eyes grow icy, and even the temperature in the room seems to cool. We stand in silence for a moment, until she finally speaks.
“You were never mine to love.” Her tone is surgical and direct, just like the militant mother I remember.
“It was always my purpose to deliver you to the stars.”
? ? ?
When I leave Mom’s room, I don’t know where I’m going.
My old childhood nightmare keeps replaying in my mind: The Maw that bit my brother bites me instead, and Mom never swims fast enough to save me. Every time, I’d wake up right after the monster’s red eyes turned icy blue, but it’s only now I understand why.
Mom rescued Stan from his fate that day, but she couldn’t rescue me from mine. In fact, she built me for it. Like an animal bred for slaughter.
My whole life I assumed she was the problem, but what if I was wrong? What if it was me?
Mom loved Stan, she loved Dad, she even loves this Gamba girl. But my own mother couldn’t love me. Even when I was just a baby, she understood that loving me could only lead to suffering.
After all, loving me got Stan killed. Loving me got Mathias captured. Loving me got Hysan jailed. Loving me got Nishi Sumbered—
“There you are!”
I turn at the sound of Blaze’s voice, and I realize I’ve no idea where I am. “Hurry—there’s a news transmission coming in that Aquarius wants you to see.”
I let him pull me forward, and we cut across to the ship’s west wing, where we enter some kind of briefing room where the Original Guardian is standing with a few of the Party members I met last night. At first I’m relieved Imogen isn’t here, but then I see who’s on the screen.
Hysan is broadcasting from Phaet with a wall of a dozen Zodai— including Eurek, Mathias, and Pandora—behind him.
“My name is Hysan Dax,” he says, “and I am the true Lord of House Libra.”
My mouth is arid and my knees start shaking. I feel Blaze’s arm on my lower back, and I vaguely realize that he’s helping me stay upright.
“Lord Neith is an android I built with my predecessor, Lord Vaz, because I became Guardian at eleven years old. I always knew there would be a day when I would share my story with you, but I hoped it would be in a time of peace, not war. I’m sorry for lying, and I will give you all the answers you deserve, but first we must survive.”
Since I avoided looking directly at Hysan’s hologram earlier, I didn’t notice that a layer of stubble has crept across his face again. His golden locks look messy and unwashed, like he’s been running his fingers through them often.
“None of us can escape the truth any longer,” he goes on, his voice gaining volume. “The Zodiac is in danger. I understand you’d rather be living your daily lives and pretending the threat isn’t real because it hasn’t touched you yet, but believe me, this darkness will spread. If you choose to remain ignorant and uninvolved, you may be kissing your kids goodnight before a morning that never dawns.”
He pauses, and the passion that infected him earlier flickers for a moment. But when he speaks again, he sounds as determined as before.
“Now I have a second confession to make: I broke the Taboo.”
I’m definitely not holding myself up anymore, but Blaze doesn’t complain as I shift all my weight to him.
“Wandering Star Rhoma Grace and I have been romantically involved since she became Holy Mother. I know her better than anyone. Which is why you have to believe me when I tell you that she has been compromised.”
My head is buzzing and my body grows feverish. I barely feel conscious as Hysan says his final words:
“Rho Grace is working with Ophiuchus and his master. She is a traitor to the Zodiac.”
26
“SHUT IT OFF,” COMMANDS AQUARIUS.
I lost them all.
They hate me.
I hate me.
“Leave us.”
I’m somewhat aware of everyone exiting the room and Blaze gently depositing me in a chair.
“You’re not alone, Rho,” says Aquarius, reading my soul as he sits beside me. “Letting go of yesterday is the most painful part of today. I don’t blame your friends for wanting to hold on to what they’ve always known, nor should you. But you’ve evolved past them now.”
Part of me is listening, but most of me isn’t even here. It feels strangely freeing to be abandoned by everyone and everything I’ve ever loved, and I wonder how it will feel to die. Will Aquarius kill me himself when he learns I’m a double agent, or will he order Blaze to do it?
“Don’t give up,” he says softly. “You’re in the embrace of a new family now. All you have to do is embrace us back. And if you’d like, your mother and the new Luminary can come with us.”
I’ve rescued Nishi, I’ve cut ties with my friends, and now I have one final task. I have to uncover Aquarius’s plans and feed them back to Hysan. Then he can save the Zodiac, and I can finally let go.
“Come with us where, exactly?” I ask, trying to pull myself together for one final push. “You keep talking about this portal through Helios, but we don’t even know where it leads or that we won’t get burned for flying too close to the sun. So if I’m going to go with you, I need to hear an actual plan.”
“I understand. You proved your loyalty to me by giving up the location of the Zodai’s resistance, and now it’s my turn to be completely open with you.” His pink eyes are glassy and clear, his voice velvety soft. “After the original earthlings settled the Aquarian constellation, I hid their spaceships and had them stored on planet XDZ5709.”
“Black Moon?”
He nods. “That’s why I needed the permit of exploration from the Plenum. I’ve been sending teams of engineers to upgrade those ships for centuries, but with all the attacks lately, my shipments from various Houses were starting to attract too much attention.”
“Why not build new vessels?”
“Because I know nothing of the tunnel through Helios save for the fact that these ships made it through. I’ve outfitted them with the latest technology, and we have a full fleet ready to go. But on our way to Black Moon, you and I will make a pit stop to activate the portal.”
“Where?”
“The Thirteenth House.”