He knows everything.
All I’ve felt, all I’ve known, all I’ve wanted. I feel exposed. And I also feel trapped, like there are no moves I can make because I’m playing against an opponent who sees how the game will end before it’s even begun.
“It’s not your fault you’re like this,” he goes on. “The potential is there; you just haven’t had the right upbringing. And that is where I can help you. See, I’ve studied you closer than even you have. I’ve seen your mind’s corners, its curves, its contradictions . . . and beneath your Wandering Star luster, you are held up by an unshakable Cancrian core.”
He takes my hand in his, and though my Barer buzzes, my fingers feel limp, like my body’s tired of resisting.
“I can give you the thing you’ve always felt you were missing,” he whispers. “I can be your true parent, Rho. One who knows you, who puts you first, who never abandons you. I’ve been there for all of your most important moments, even if you didn’t know it. When you faced the Plenum. When you were disgraced. When you returned triumphant. I’ve watched you grow. I was so proud when I got to crown you Wandering Star.”
His warm eyes grow shiny, and I realize that even though he caused the tragedies that led to these moments, he still believes he means these words.
“Let me teach you what I know. Men are mortal, but I am a star, an everlasting part of this galaxy. Let me help you feed your flame so that for the blink of an eye you’re here, you can blaze brighter than Helios herself.”
23
“I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT you want from me.” My voice sounds so small, it feels like it’s coming from light-years away.
Aquarius’s sunset eyes stare steadfastly into mine. “When we go through that portal, I want you at the helm of the first ship. I want you to lead humanity into a united tomorrow—and I want to be the star that guides you.”
I shake my head in complete confusion. “But—you’ve been trying to kill me this whole time.”
“No, I’ve been providing you with opportunities to understand your own strength,” he says, like that’s a perfectly acceptable justification. “You were never in any danger, not if you were the person I believed you to be.”
“That’s quite a gamble to make.”
“Which came first, fate or free will?” he asks, smiling paternally. “That’s the universal question.”
This whole conversation makes as much sense as the nightmares in the Sumber, and I don’t know how to begin digesting anything he’s said, so I blurt, “But why did you put me through the worst moments of my life if you wanted me on your side?”
His expression grows pitying, which only irritates me further. “Heart, mind, and soul . . . that’s what you Cancrians test for the Guardianship, right? I already knew you had the soul of a star because you could See Dark Matter. I knew you had the mind of a leader because you succeeded in bringing the Houses closer together than they’ve been in millennia. But how do you test the heart of the most forgiving person in the Zodiac?”
“Do you always answer questions with riddles?”
His pink stare grows grave, and for a moment I worry I’ve pushed him too far.
“First you take everything from her,” he says, and I’m beyond certain my heart has stopped. “Then you dare her to forgive you.”
? ? ?
I’ve already been sitting by the healing pod a couple of hours when at last the countdown reaches zero and the lid opens.
I don’t know what time it is, but it’s late into the night. After my talk with Aquarius, Blaze took me on a tour through the Mothership and introduced me to Party members, and I tried to take as many mental notes as I could—but I was still in too much of a daze from everything the master revealed.
Now that I know what he wants—my trust—I finally have leverage over him. All I have to do is make him think he’s earned it, and then he’ll confide in me the specific details of his plan. But I can’t reach out to Hysan until I know something that can actually help the Zodai defeat Aquarius; otherwise, I’ll risk the master discovering my duplicity before I’ve had a chance to be useful.
I grow instantly alert as Nishi sits upright, and I’m relieved to see that warmth has returned to her cinnamon skin.
When her eyes find mine, I spy a familiar shrewdness in their amber depths. “Something’s wrong.”
“Should I call a healer?” I ask, leaping to my feet.
“Why are you here, Rho?” She narrows her gaze, and her suspicious expression is further proof that the old Nishi is back.
And the old Nishi will be impossible to fool.
“I can’t talk in here,” I say softly, barely moving my lips, which is at least true. I have no idea if the Party has installed hidden surveillance—and since I’m playing both sides, that means trusting no one.
Nishi nods in understanding. “So, what’s next?” she asks tentatively.
“We get out of here and get you back with the others.”
She wrinkles her brow. “We. We have to get back to the others. Why didn’t they come with you?”
“Nish, I can’t talk,” I say, again dropping my voice to barely a whisper.
She blows out a hard breath, but at least she doesn’t press me. I guess truth is the most convincing lie.
“Wandering Star?”
I turn to see the healer from earlier poking her head through the privacy curtains. “May I see to our patient?”
“She’s fine,” I say.
“Your presence has been requested at dinner. Blaze said a change of clothes awaits you in your suite.”
“I’m not hungry. And it’s late.”
“But Aquarius specifically requested—”
“I don’t care.”
“She’ll be there,” announces Nishi, and when I glower at her, she’s already glowering back. “We just need a moment,” she tells the healer, who nods in relief and retreats.
“You have to go, Rho,” she says in a firm tone. “If you let me distract you from defeating him, I’ll never forgive myself.”
I swallow and turn away so she won’t see the guilt on my face. “I’ll come back right after,” I toss over my shoulder.
“Maybe you should get some sleep right after.”
I whirl around, and she winces at my wounded expression. “I’m sorry, Rho, it’s not that I don’t want to see you. It’s just—you look like you could use some rest. You can tell me all about the dinner first thing in the morning.”
I shrug and say, “Here’s hoping they don’t poison my food.”
“Hey, you’re the chosen one; you have nothing to worry about.” Her feral grin makes me think of the warrior Nishi from the Sumber. “If you don’t piss anyone off too much, I’ll probably be fine, too.”
I smile at her innocently.
“Then I guess I’ll have to be on my best behavior.”