“That’s nothing to joke about, Megan.” He wondered if she was seeing someone else and was surprised that it still stung when he thought of her with another man. His jaw set. He grabbed his coffee cup and left it black. Bitter mood; bitter coffee.
He took it to the bathroom with him where he dropped his pants and tossed them into the hamper before turning on the water. Peeling off his plain white tee, he caught a glimpse of the small, arrow-shaped brand on the front of his left shoulder. The marred flesh was rigid and puckered. He didn’t like to look at it, and he didn’t want others to see it, either. He’d learned to keep it covered and hidden like a dirty secret.
Run! Faster! Keep going. Gotta keep going. The girl was heavy. She’d endured far worse than he had when he’d been branded, and he tried to push down the thoughts that he’d had anything to do with it. She was so heavy in his arms, even though her arms were thinner than his and her frame was much smaller. He was just a boy, not quite seventeen, not quite ready for consequences, and not sure what had happened. One minute, he hated on his father, and the next, he was responsible for another human being’s life. It hung in the balance, and all he could do was run. Run! Gotta keep going.
His eyes left the brand, and he met his stare in the mirror. More times than many, he hated what he saw. He turned and stepped into the shower, knowing the water was only going to remind him that it was raining that day. The earth squished and slurped beneath his feet as his heavy footfalls made deep tracks in the mud. Deep enough to be hunted. Deep enough to leave clues. He’d thought of everything as he’d watched the news. The days after, when they’d found her, he kept expecting them to come for him. But they never had.
That was when he learned just how strong he was; and how weak. Pussy. That guilt could devour you if you wanted it to. It could put you on the edge of your seat, setting your nerves on fire, or it could numb you to the core until you felt nothing. Nothing but a big black hole; a pit inside your soul like a black hollow that never ended. The eternal abyss of hell.
“Are you going to stay in there forever?” Megan’s fist banged hard against the door. “Darek! Why’d you lock the door? I need to pee, and my makeup is in there!”
He wasn’t sure what one had to do with the other, but he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist. As he stepped out of the shower, the door shook with her fist. The noise echoed in his head like someone hitting it with a hammer.
He threw the door open. “Stop it! Can’t I get a fucking moment’s peace!”
Her eyes widened, and she stepped back. He turned to glance in the mirror and what he saw gave him chills. His mouth was peeled back like a wild dog baring his fangs, and his eyes were tinged red. He looked like a madman.
“You’ve been in there an hour.” She was exaggerating. She had to be. He looked across the room behind her to the alarm clock. She was right. “You’re late for work. What are you doing in there?”
“Jerking my fucking dick!” He’d rather she think that than know the truth. He pushed past her and headed to the closet with water still beaded on his back. He’d admit to nothing, much less give her more ammunition to nag him with.
But she’d seen it all before. “You had another episode, didn’t you? It’s this fucking case. You never snap at me until—”
He spun around and grabbed her arm. “I didn’t have anything. I’ve got a wife who won’t put out and the most stressful fucking job on the planet. So do me a favor, and stop playing head shrink.” He had never laid a finger on her, but when he was irritable, he’d lash out verbally. Being a victim of verbal abuse, he fought hard not to become his father. He took a few calming breaths, and she jerked her arm away.
“If you’re this bad and it’s just beginning, then how fucking batshit are you going to be by the time it’s solved? If it’s ever solved!”
She had a point, but he wished she’d just support him for a change, instead of making shit worse with accusations. Why couldn’t she be warm and hold him, or try to soothe him and ease his thoughts? Instead, she’d flip the fuck out and blame his job; the very same job she needed him to have to support her.
He needed her to fuck his brains out when he came home from a hard day to ease his stress, or have a cup of hot coffee waiting for him in the morning to kick him into gear. He needed a wife. Someone to encourage him and support him, not treat him like a burden or something she was sick of dealing with; a hobby that had become boring.
He scrubbed his face and looked at her. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to be so aggressive. It’s stressful, and you talking about divorce doesn’t help. I love you.” He needed a little warmth and compassion.
She brushed his hair from his face, and he closed his eyes at the feel of her cool fingers against his flesh. “I was just thinking out loud. Are you taking your medicine?”
“I said, I love you.”
She rolled her eyes and gave him a sidelong glance. “I love you, too. Are you taking your medicine?”
“Yeah. I am.” He searched her eyes for the warmth of love that he used to find burning there, but instead, he came up empty.
6
Bay
A loud buzz filled the air. “Mr. Collins, your sister-in-law is here to see you.”
Bay cursed and turned his attention back to his phone as he stared at the city skyline. “I told you, it’s nothing. You’re overreacting. Now do us both a favor, and don’t call me here again.”
He hung up the phone just before the door to his office opened. Mia Randall sauntered into the room, looking much older than her barely-legal body actually was.
He had his suspicions about her visit. “What brings you in?”
Over the weekend, he’d caught her and her boyfriend in the guesthouse together. The young man’s pants had been around his knees, and her mouth had been stuffed full of his cock. Bay’s own hardened in his pants as she walked over and stood close to his desk. She was a dark beauty, with silky black hair that hung down her back in waves, the slimmest little figure, perky breasts, a tiny waist, and a perfect tan from weeks in the Bahamas. His eyes drank her in, but then, through her tight skirt, he spotted something that simply wouldn’t do.
“I just wanted to talk to you about what happened this weekend,” Mia said. “You said we’d handle it later, Bay, and you promised not to tell Lila.” Mia was shaking in her tall pumps, and the fear emanating off the young girl was like an aphrodisiac to him.
“You disappointed me, Kitten. I thought I was your special man.” He held out his hand, and as she took it, he pulled her down across his lap and kissed her bare shoulder.
“You’re, silly. I thought you’d like it if I were seasoned in the ways to pleasure you. My birthday is in a month, and I thought I’d surprise you.”
“If you keep encouraging those young men, how will you give me your virginity?” he asked.