“And I told you I’m sorry, babe. I really am.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “But you can’t expect me to just pick up and leave right now, can you?”
“Oh my god . . .” she said, shaking her head. “Oh my god.” She stared at him, and for the first time she saw what everyone else around her did: an arrogant, narcissistic guy who only cared about himself.
“What?” he said, pushing his long black hair out of his face.
She scowled at him. “I just can’t believe I wasted so much time on you.” She thought back to all of their arguments and breakups, and the moments she put up with his rude, cavalier behavior. She had forgiven him and taken him back more times than she could count. And for what? To just keep getting hurt like this?
He just shrugged and took a swig of his beer, completely unaffected; after years of fighting, it was like he’d become immune to her anger.
She’d been in love with Cash for so long. But was it love? She shook her head. Love wasn’t fighting and crying and wondering how many other girls he was sleeping with on the side. Maybe she didn’t know what love was, but she knew it wasn’t Cash.
Madison grabbed her bag and turned to him, putting a hand on his chest one last time. “Don’t call me.” She walked out of the bar and didn’t look back.
43
claire
“NO REGRETS?” KIMMY asked Claire, sitting on the floor of her living room. The girls were stretching their legs after their final workout session.
“I’m gonna admit,” Claire said, touching her toes, “when you first suggested this, I thought you were crazy. Heck, I thought I was crazy when I said yes. But it’s been really fun.” She smiled at Kimmy. “Your studio is gonna be amazing.”
“Thanks,” Kimmy said. “That really means a lot to me. I just hope the rest of the town feels the way you do.” She sighed. “I mean, it’s not like I can advertise on the church bulletin board.”
Claire laughed, imagining how that would go over. “Maybe not, but I have some social media tricks we can use to get the word out.” The night before, she’d brainstormed creative ways to market the place. She’d even researched starting a YouTube channel where Kimmy could teach the workouts to girls all over the world.
Kimmy’s eyes widened. “You’d do that for me?”
Claire nodded. “Of course. I’m grateful for everything you did for me. I know we only did this for a few weeks, but I really do feel a lot better about myself, and I think that’s helping my marriage, too.” Ever since the night she’d seduced Gavin, things had been different between them. She kept catching him looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and last weekend after she’d put Sadie to bed, he’d taken the dirty dishes right out of her hand and led her to the bedroom.
“Oh my god, I think I’m gonna cry,” Kimmy said, leaning over to hug Claire. She pulled back. “Thank you for even agreeing to do this and letting me practice with you. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to do this on my own.”
Claire smiled and stood up. “What are you up to tonight? Gavin’s at softball practice until eight, and my mom’s picking my little girl up from day care. Want to go grab a celebratory drink?”
Kimmy looked up at the clock on her phone. “I have to leave for work soon.” She frowned. “Actually—I should call a cab now.” She stood, and started scrolling through her contacts.
“Where’s your car?” Claire asked, putting her water bottle in her bag.
“In the shop. Overheated yesterday. It’s like, do I really need that in my life right now?”
Claire hitched her bag over her shoulder. “You want a ride?”
Kimmy glanced up. “That’d be great! Give me one sec, I’ll change there.”
As Kimmy gathered her things, Claire pulled out her phone and tweeted from @Pastor_Gavin: “So many times we ask ourselves what someone else can do for us. Instead, we should be asking, how can we be the answer to THEIR prayer?”
The girls drove to The Saddle with the windows down, the breeze ruffling their hair. When they got there, only a couple of cars sat in the dusty lot. “Well, I guess I’ll see you soon?” Claire asked. She was surprised to feel a pang of sadness. She wasn’t sure when she’d see Kimmy again, now that their lessons were done.
Kimmy paused as she opened the car door. “Wait . . . why don’t you come in? Try out your new moves onstage?”
Claire burst out laughing. She was joking, right? “No way! You’re crazy, girl.”
Kimmy put a hand on Claire’s arm, a sly grin on her face. It reminded Claire of Madison, who was always so good at talking her into doing things. “Remember what you told me like thirty minutes ago?” Kimmy asked. “How you thought I was crazy with the lessons, but you were glad you did it after all? I’m just sayin’ . . . it’d feel pretty great to try those moves with an actual pole.”
Claire put her sunglasses on top of her head, squinting into the sunlight. “It’s one thing to practice a couple of moves behind closed doors, but there’s no way I’m gonna do it in front of strangers.”
“Oh my gosh. Look around!” Kimmy gestured at the nearly empty parking lot. “It’s five thirty on a Wednesday. There’s no one here. C’mon . . . you know you wanna. It’s an adrenaline rush.”
Claire could just hear her friends—especially Madison—telling her to do it. “You’ve got nothin’ to lose,” they’d say. They’d be so proud of her. And as much fun and confidence-boosting as the workouts were, she could only imagine what being onstage would feel like.
“So?” Kimmy nudged her.
Claire took the key out of the ignition and shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this.”
Kimmy grinned. “That’s the spirit!”
Inside, the strip club was dim and hazy, the only light coming from a rainbow-colored string of Christmas lights above the stage and the small red lanterns on each round table. A twenty-something girl with short black hair and dark skin was dancing, but there was no one in the audience. Her body gyrated to the heavy bass in ways that Claire only wished hers could.
Kimmy grabbed her hand and led her to the stage. “See, no one’s here, so don’t be nervous.” Still in their yoga pants and tank tops from their workout, they joined the girl onstage. The dancer studied Claire for a moment, then grabbed her waist and led her to the pole.