“I can’t,” I told her, facing her. “I love you—you know that—but this isn’t my secret to tell. Until Jensen is ready to tell it, I don’t want to mess up his trust. We’re kind of on new ground here…and I like him too much to lose that.”
Heidi held her hands up. “That’s fair. I’m not trying to pry. Okay, I am. But I don’t want to fuck up your relationship. Everything okay?”
“Honestly…we’ll find out in a few days.”
“Seems grim.”
“You’ve no idea.”
“Okay, okay. Well, fill me in when you can, and let’s set up a plan for you to actually move in. You’d better not be that girl who moves in with her bestie and then sleeps at her boyfriend’s house the whole time.”
“You know I’ve got time for you in my bed.”
Heidi snorted. “I love you. So, where are you going?”
“Surprise. Will you check on Kimber the next couple of days? I really don’t want to smother them, but I’ll miss my niece.”
“You know it.”
I finished filling up my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and then retreated downstairs. I hugged Kimber, who was cooing over Bethany asleep in Jensen’s arms. It was almost comical really. He was such a big guy, and she was so tiny. Yet he held her as if she were the most precious cargo.
“She’s gorgeous, Kimber,” Jensen said before passing her back. “Congratulations to you both.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling down at her daughter.
“I’ll see you in a couple of days. Call me if you need me,” I said to Kimber.
“Okay,” Kimber said, giving me a hug. “Love you.”
Jensen and I retreated back to his Mercedes.
“You going to fill me in on where we’re going?”
I grinned as we drove to his place. “You haven’t guessed?”
“Coming up blank.”
“Back to our first date.”
He smiled the first real smile all afternoon, and his eyes raked over my body. “The cabin.”
Jensen’s cabin in Ransom Canyon was exactly the way I remembered it. Chic furniture and hardwood floors. Sheepskin rugs and modern appliances. A roaring fireplace with soft music filtering in through a surround sound stereo system. It was everything I could want in a place that was both somehow high-end and old school.
It brought back memories of camping when I’d been in school yet exuded a realm of luxury I’d never understood until Jensen.
Here was where we had first had sex, giving into desire and never thinking forward from that moment. If I had known then where we would be standing now, I probably would have thought I was insane. No way would I be Jensen Wright’s girlfriend. He’d been out of my league. I’d merely been a conquest…and happy to oblige for a night. Yet…here we were.
“Maybe we should go back,” Jensen said doubtfully.
“Look, I know you’re worried,” I told him, divesting myself of my jacket and tossing it on the back of the couch. “I’m worried, too. But you need to get your mind off of things just until we know the test results. If not, all you’ll do is worry yourself to death…and probably do something stupid.”
He ran a hand back through his hair. His eyes were haunted. “You’re probably right.”
“I’m definitely right.”
His eyes slid back to me. “And how exactly are you going to get my mind off of things?”
“I had a few ideas.”
“Does the first start with you stripping in front of the fire again?”
I smirked. “That’s like the third idea.”
His hands slid up my sides. “We should move it up the list.”
Then, he wrapped his arms around my thighs and hoisted me up into the air. I latched on to his neck, holding myself in place. He effortlessly carried me to the sheepskin rug where we had first had sex.
“Help me forget,” he breathed against my neck as he lay me back on the rug.
He didn’t have to tell me twice. If he wanted sex, I was there, but I knew he wouldn’t really forget like this. It would dampen but not change how he felt. I knew that talking was the only thing that would get us there. However, I was all for talking after.
I slipped my shirt over my head and reached for the button on his jeans. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I stripped off his jeans and then ran my hand over the edge of his boxer briefs. He groaned, even before I slipped under the material and took the length of him in my hand. He grew in size at my careful ministrations. Then, I leaned forward, removed his boxers, and licked him from base to head. He definitely was not thinking about anything else now.
I brought him almost to climax with my mouth before he wrestled me to the ground, removed my clothes, and rammed into me. His eyes were full of emotions now. Lust, desire, heat. He wanted me, and I wanted him.
My hand reached up and brushed his cheek. “I love you,” I murmured.
His pacing slowed, and he eased forward onto his elbows, so he could look directly into my face. “I will always love you.”
He kissed me, slow and purposeful, matching our lips to his strokes. I twined my legs around his body, reveling in the sensation. Before I knew it, my whole body convulsed, and I was coming with him deep inside me. He tipped his head back and followed on the heels of my orgasm.
It felt like more than just sex.
More than just fucking.
It was deep and personal.
He had touched my soul.
Devoured my heart.
And brought us both back to life.
Jensen Wright had rewritten my world.
We both lay back on the rug, spent…for now. My breathing was irregular, and my heartbeat was skyrocketing. Yet all I wanted was to start up again. I was insatiable for this man. And it terrified me that we had come so close to stepping away…to saying that this was too much.
Love was hard.
It shook you to your core.
It remade you into a different person.
But that was what made it beautiful. Knowing that no one else in the world could ever make you feel like you did in that moment. Accepting the pain and really experiencing what it meant to be together.
It moved mountains.
It certainly moved me.
“How are you doing?” Jensen asked, kissing my shoulder.
“Never been better.”
“Mmm,” he agreed.
“I think I want to teach,” I told him out of nowhere.
“I bet you’d be amazing at it.”
“My mother, of all people, suggested I do it, and now, I think it sounds like the right choice.”