I didn’t know how he knew that I wanted him to come to my place instead of his little tree house. But I wanted to erase the negative memories I had here with him.
My hands slipped under his tuxedo jacket before I even got the door closed. He laughed at my eager behavior, but when I kissed him with everything I had in me, his humor evaporated. I wanted him and needed him like nothing else. I’d felt warranted in my anger over the last week, but I wanted to forget that it had ever happened.
“Heidi,” he murmured against my mouth.
“Mmm,” I groaned, tossing his jacket to the floor.
His hands were clutching my slip dress. And it was the thinnest material possible, so he was actually digging into my skin. And, fuck me, I wanted him.
“I want to savor you.”
“I want you to fuck me.”
He slipped his tongue across my bottom lip. “I want to taste every inch of your body.”
“I want it rough and fast.”
“I want to make you come so many times, you see stars.” His fingers met the slit of my dress and eased up to my hips where I was without panties for the night.
“Harder,” I practically breathed against his lips. “Much harder.”
“And only remember my name.” He moved his hand between my legs and stroked my pussy before exploring my clit.
I purred at the touch, my body heightened with arousal. “Take me,” I pleaded. “Own me.”
“You’re not the kind of woman who can be owned,” he told me as he did a damn good job of owning my body.
“Prove me wrong,” I groaned.
“Fuck, I missed you.”
“I know. It was awful.”
“I wish I could fucking throw you over my shoulder and carry you into the bedroom. This injury is…” He shook his head.
I leaned forward and tenderly kissed him. “Your injury is of no consequence to me. You are not less of a man because you can’t act like a caveman. Trust me, I have firsthand experience.”
He grinned. “Would you like more firsthand experience?”
“Yes, please.”
He removed his hand and directed me to the bedroom. As I walked past him, he smacked my ass. Once I was in the bedroom, he took his time in pulling my dress over my head and discarding the expensive piece of material onto the floor. I couldn’t seem to care.
His hands traced their way down my body. Then, he leaned me backward on the bed and used his lips to follow where his hands had been. It was sweet, blissful torture. I wanted him inside me, and he wanted to devour me. He was winning.
His tongue set siege to my clit, and his fingers ravaged the inside of me, bringing me to orgasm twice before he was satisfied. I was incoherent.
There was no separation between me and Landon. There was no space or distance or emotion that we couldn’t bridge. No feeling he hadn’t captured. No touch he hadn’t embraced. Living without him had been agony, and I refused to endure it again.
I flipped Landon so that he was lying on his back and then moved on top of him. He gripped my hips and eased me down onto his dick. I tipped my head back with pleasure at the feel of him filling me. Then, I started to bounce up and down on top of him. My tits were moving with me, and I knew he was enjoying the view.
“Fuck, Heidi,” he moaned. “You’re going to make me come.”
“Come with me,” I pleaded. I could already feel my orgasm building again, and I was eager for him to finish me off.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight against his chest. Then, he thrust up into me over and over again. His eyes were dark pools of lust, and I was a mirror for his desire.
“Don’t close your eyes,” he told me.
And, when I came, I was looking directly into his orbs and screaming his name as I fell apart. He came with me, and we both lay, panting from exhaustion and satisfaction.
He placed a light kiss on my shoulder. “I think you wore me out.”
“You’ll be ready for round two soon enough,” I told him with a wink before sashaying into the bathroom.
When I came back out, he had his boxers back on and was lounging back on the bed, looking mighty pleased with himself.
“Something you want to say?” I asked, slipping into a pair of panties and an oversize cheer T-shirt.
“Just thinking about you coming three times.”
“Want to try for more?”
“Fuck yes, I do.”
I laughed and snuggled up next to him in the bed. I pressed my face into his chest and breathed him in.
This was real. All of this was real. Landon would be divorced in twenty-four hours. I had my job back. He was going to be working in golf again. The hardships had been insufferable…but they were worth it if I got all of this in the end.
He ran his fingers through my long hair, and I felt myself being lulled to sleep.
“Thank you,” he whispered into the stillness.
“For what?”
“Not completely giving up on us.”
“This is what I want. It always was.”
I felt so fortunate. Landon and I had fucked up. We’d almost been destroyed. But we’d come out ahead. It made me feel like I could do anything. And there were more things that I had left to do.
Forty
Heidi
“Do you…do you want to read those letters with me?” I whispered.
Landon froze. “Right now?”
“Yeah. I just…I thought now might be a good time.”
He leaned over and switched on the side table light. “Let’s do it.”
“You’re sure? You still want to?”
“I think you need to.”
I took a deep breath and then padded into the closet. I carried out the box of letters. It was pretty heavy. The last time I’d counted, there were over three hundred unopened, unanswered letters in there. I was sure it was closer to three hundred fifty now. It was a daunting task but one that I felt I should finally dig into.
My dad had made mistakes, like me and Landon, and I hoped that, by reading through the letters, I might actually discover the truth in all of what my father had done.
Landon took the tub from me and placed it on the bed. We sorted through the letters that were mostly in order by when they had been sent, and I pulled out the very first one.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
I nodded, feeding off his strength, and I tore the envelope open. I was surprised to find that it only had a few lines on it.
My dearest Heidi,
You deserve better than me for your old man. I hope, one day, you’ll forgive me and come visit. I don’t know that I’ll survive this place without you.
Love you, princess.
Dad
My heart stopped over every line. It was so little. So simple. Just an apology. Just his need for me to be with him, and I hadn’t even been able to open it.
We tore through letter after letter. The first fifty were all apologies, pleading with me to answer, to come see him, to understand. Asking for more than I had been able to give during that time of my life. I’d been too upset with him…unable to forgive…never able to forget.
Then, suddenly, the letters changed. The first one that was different started out with one last plea.