“Well, I’ll hold your hand, pretty boy. Come here.”
He took my hands, and I skated backward like a pro, guiding him and getting him back into a rhythm. After we did a lap or two, he stopped thinking so hard about what his feet were doing and started enjoying himself. That meant I could show off, and it was fun. God, it was so fun.
“Where did you learn to skate like that?” Landon asked in awe.
I grinned as I weaved my feet back and forth. “My dad.”
“Hank Martin roller-skated?” he asked practically uncomprehendingly.
“He was amazing. Grew up in an age where roller-skating was cheap, and all the cool kids did it. Showing off was my dad’s pastime.”
“Don’t know anyone else like that,” he said sarcastically.
I laughed, comfortable with the statement today. Most other days, I wouldn’t appreciate the comparison to my father. “I do have a flair for the dramatic.”
“I like that about you.”
“What don’t you like, Wright?”
He cocked his head to the side. “Nothing.”
“Give me time.”
“I’ve known you for a long time, Heidi. Not going to change how I feel now.”
He took my hand and tugged me back around so that we could skate like a brand-new middle school couple showing off to our friends. It was strangely romantic in a completely unassuming way.
By the time the later afternoon birthday crowds started showing up, Landon and I decided to call it quits. Roller-skating wasn’t the best thing for his back anyway. I could tell he was in some pain but didn’t want to ruin my day with it.
I ordered him to return our shoes as I snagged us some pizza and a Coke. We ate like it was fine dining, laughing over how the cheese seemed to slide off the entire slice and the bottom had the consistency of cardboard. But it was delicious. And being with him like this was equally delicious.
“Where are we going next?” he asked as the sun was finally setting on the horizon. “Flips? For pool?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. “Hank’s.”
Landon glanced over at me in confusion. “But Hank’s was demolished.”
“I know.” I swiped at the tear in my eye at the mention that my father’s beloved bar had been torn down by Wright Construction to put up high-end condominiums. And that I’d then gone and worked for the people who had done it.
I stopped the car in front of the condos, and Landon and I both slid out. I nodded my head at the small park across the street. It was deserted at this hour, and we easily found a park bench that faced the condos. As I faced the building that used to be my home away from home, where I’d spent more hours than my own home, tears poured out of my eyes. And I let them. I let myself feel all the pain.
“I miss him,” I finally admitted. “I miss him so much.”
Landon wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I know.”
“I miss the man he used to be. When he used to be a good father. When he didn’t do drugs, then sell drugs, then fucking bankroll the bar with his drug money to try to keep it afloat. I wished he hadn’t been the kind of dad who brought strange women over all the time. Married women. The kind who I never really knew their names, and they switched too often for me to care. I wished I hadn’t had to clean up his fucking messes all the time. Help him in his drunken stupor and cry myself to sleep when he was in a drunken rage so bad that only passing out would get him to stop.
“But he loved me. You know…despite all of that…he loved me. He tried to provide for me and let me do anything I wanted. But it…wasn’t parenting. After Mom left, he was surviving. And letting me do anything I wanted wasn’t charity. I’m lucky I had Emery and that her mom helped me out as much as she did.”
“Maybe he’s changed. Why don’t you reach out and talk to him? You don’t know; he might surprise you.”
“No, I can’t.” I swiped at my eyes.
“But why?”
I shook my head. “Because.”
“Heidi—”
“Because he spent all of my college funds on drugs!” I shouted, standing up and throwing my arms out. I let out the last ounce of depressing news. The part I’d held back from everyone. “He spent all the money that my mom had left me for college. He pawned off all her jewelry and every last thing that had ever belonged to her. And he left me with nothing. Now, even though I’m working my ass off, I’m broke as hell, Landon. I need this job more than life itself. And it’s all his fault.”
“Fuck,” Landon whispered.
“Yeah. So, he gets one day. I give myself one day to miss him. That’s all he deserves.”
Twenty-Eight
Landon
Spending that day with Heidi, when she was at her most vulnerable, had changed everything. I had fallen for her. Completely, utterly, unequivocally.
And I was a fucking asshole.
I knew why she needed this job. I now knew without question why this was so important to her. Yet I was gambling with it. I was gambling with her. I could feel the delicate tightrope we were walking on, and I feared our feet would slip if I wasn’t careful.
I didn’t know how to be more careful.
Sunday morning, Heidi was wrapped in my arms when I got a text from Jensen.
You still coming to church?
“Fuck,” I spat.
“Hmm?” Heidi asked, peering up at me with sleep-deprived eyes.
“I forgot it’s Sunday. I’m supposed to meet Jensen for church. Want to go with me?”
“Won’t that look bad?” she mumbled.
I gritted my teeth and nodded. “Yeah, probably. Fuck, I’m sorry. You can stay here and keep sleeping. I’ll be back in about an hour, okay?”
“All right,” she said with a big yawn. “Come back to me soon, okay?”
“God, I wish you could go with me.”
“One day,” she said, leaning into me for a kiss.
“One day soon,” I promised.
I hastily changed into a suit and darted over to the church we’d been going to since I was little. My mom had been an avid churchgoer, even before she found out about the cancer. Of course, we hadn’t known how bad it was until she was on her deathbed. But it made sense now why she had been so religious about the church service. She must have been scared with five children and a life-threatening illness.
I arrived just in time to make the service. Jensen, Emery, Austin, Morgan, Sutton, Maverick, and little baby Jason were all seated in the front row, like a defending army. Even though my family was super fucked up and carried more baggage than an airplane in a year, we were always here.
Lubbock was one of those towns where church service was mandatory, but we Wrights took it to an extreme. It was new for me though. I’d been gone for a long time. I’d only gone to church when I was home for the holidays. I definitely hadn’t gone when I was in Tampa. So, remembering that this was a thing we always did tripped me up on Sundays.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I sank into the seat Jensen had left for me at the end of the aisle.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“My alarm didn’t go off.”
Jensen shot me a look that said he didn’t believe me. And he was right. Not that I’d let him know that.
Emery leaned forward and waved. “Hey, Landon.”