Cain’s eyes hit mine. A hint of mischievousness glimmers in his deep-set eyes.
“Come here,” he beckons, extending his hand out to me. He pulls me down the hall and into the biggest bedroom I have ever seen.
You could live in this room. Off to the right sit two deep gray, couches underneath yet more windows. There is also a chaise lounge next to a fireplace, and another desk.
The large king size bed sits on the other side of the room, facing the windows.
Cain sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me in the direction of the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I giggle lightly.
He sets me gently down.
“This is heaven!” I exclaim, sliding my eyes to the claw foot tub sitting by a window. There is a walk-in shower off to the left and a vanity with two sinks to the right. Gravity pulls me in the direction of the tub.
“Take a bath. Relax. I’ll make us some dinner,” says Cain.
I raise my hands in defeat.
“No argument from me.”
I smile happily and kiss him tenderly on the lips.
“Do you need a pain pill?”
“Nope. I have everything I need right here.”
He stares at me for a long moment. I can tell his mind is working, wondering if I’m telling the truth.
“I’m good. Really. Now, I’m starving.”
I try and shoo him out.
“Let me see what I can find to make. Lola had her housekeeper stock us with food.”
“Cheeseburger!” I holler at his retreating back.
“I knew it,” he yells back.
I sigh, taking in my surroundings. I could definitely get used to this.
I lay my head back, staring out into the late afternoon/early evening skyline of New York City. My muscles tight from lack of exercise loosen up. It’s my brain that won’t relax, won’t stop twitching. I’ve hidden my memories well and I will continue to do so from everyone.
It’s like I’m doomed to relive the entire night from beginning to end, over and over. Drugged. Punched. Manny. Screaming. Royal’s seedy, repugnant eyes. Emerald, fixated on killing me. The loss of our baby, a baby we would have loved so much. It won’t leave me alone.
Will it ever go away? All I can see is the cutest little blue eyed, dark-haired little boy, wrestling around on the floor with his father, or sitting on my lap while I read him a story. I splay my hands across my belly, saying a silent prayer to give me the strength and courage to carry on.
This is the first time I’ve been alone to be able to cry and mourn the loss of a baby I never even knew existed. The tears flow out freely, and I let them. When I’ve cried my last, I puff out a breath and submerge my body under the water, allowing pleasant memories of the last time I did this back at Cain’s house take hold over the disturbing ones.
I bolt upright, thinking I might catch him again, but the doorway is vacant. Laughing inwardly, I reach for the soap when a wave of the scent of cooking burgers hits my nose, shooting straight to my stomach. I hurry up and finish bathing, and drain the tub. I moan from the soft feel of the plush bath mat between my toes.
Wrapping the oversized towel around my waist, I pad out into the bedroom. Not having any idea where my clothes are, I open the closest dresser, squealing in delight when I see all of my bras folded neatly on the top shelf. Choosing to be bold, I reach for the red lace push up with matching panties. I pull out a few more drawers until I find my University of Windsor t-shirt. It’s old and has a hole under the arm, but it’s the softest shirt I own. I love it!
With a plan in my head, the nightmares get shoved aside. I hang the towel up and stroll out of the bedroom in search of that cheeseburger.
***