He looked at her fondly, at the lines on her once-smooth face that told the story of the miseries and the passing moments of happiness. Not enough moments of happiness.
Not enough for either of us, he thought. And certainly not enough that the two of us shared. During the great war against the Storm King, both of them had lost someone who could never be replaced, Inahwen her royal husband and Eolair King Lluth’s daughter Maegwin. Eolair had not realized how much he cared for brave, bedeviled Maegwin until she was gone. Was he making the same error now with Inahwen?
There is so little comfort in this world, he thought. Have I been foolish to let duty guide me always?
“Lady . . .” he began, but she was already shaking her head.
“I can guess a little of what you’re thinking, my brave Count. There is no use in it. We are what we are, and our roads ran side by side for only a short while. But you will always be dear to me, Eolair.”
“And you to me, Highness.” He finished his second cup of mead, and felt it in his legs as he stood to return to the great hall. “I will think carefully about the things you’ve said, and I will do some asking of my own. And rest assured, Queen Miriamele and King Seoman will know your fears.” He bent and kissed her hand with careful attention. “May the gods take good care of you.”
“Of all of us, dear Eolair.” She finally smiled, but it was a half-hearted thing. “It is so strange to see you with your hair all gray! I cannot even think how I must look to you. Yes, may the gods watch over us closely, because we are all in need of the gods’ good care.”
5
Awake
She blinked. Tzoja always blinked when she stepped out of the great Nakkiga Gates, and her eyes always watered. Freezing winter had imprisoned her under the mountain for months: even the cloud-smothered white ember that was the northern sun dazzled her to blindness.
She signaled to her escort to wait until she could see properly. The household guards halted at a carefully calculated distance, demonstrating both her high status as a magister’s property and their own mute indignation at having to protect a mortal, any mortal, even their lord’s most valued concubine.
When her full sight returned, Tzoja led the four silent Hikeda’ya guards down the cracked, discolored stairs onto the Field of Banners, anciently a place of triumphant celebration, currently the home of the so-called Animal Market. The air outside the mountain was painfully fresh and cold, but rich with smells from the nearby Sacred Grove, pine and lemony birch and honey-sweet daphne. Even the reek of the fermented fish, sold from jugs all over the market, was almost welcome, because it reminded her of her old, simple life in Rimmersgard before the Norns took her. And as always, simply being out in the light and air, even surrounded on all sides by her fellow slaves and their corpse-pale overseers, Tzoja was thinking about freedom. Even though she had conceded long ago that it would never happen, she still dreamed about escape.
As she made her way down the untidy rows of mortal vendors and mortal buyers, she stopped to look at some gloves offered for barter on a crumbled stone table while the woman who had made them squatted beside it to stay out of the wind. In the early years of her captivity, one of Tzoja’s fancies had been to keep hidden a set of cold-weather clothes in case the chance for escape ever actually came. A warm, sturdy pair of fur-lined gloves like this would be much better than the ones she had hidden away, along with the gold coins and clothes and other useful things. But Tzoja could no longer convince herself that she would leave the mountain even if she were given the chance; Nezeru’s birth had changed all that.
She set the gloves back on the stone. The Clan Enduya household guards fell in around her once more. The crouching woman did not even look up.
The Animal Market had gained its name because nearly all the buyers and sellers were mortals, and that was how the Hikeda’ya thought of Tzoja’s kind. The market sprang to life each year during the Wind-Child’s Moon and came back once each moon during the warm season. Mortal serfs and slaves from the outermost Hikeda’ya lands came to trade goods with their own kind, both those who lived in the mountain itself and those who sheltered in the new settlements outside it, a tumbledown collection of shelters tossed up in recent years on the bones of Nakkiga-That-Was, the long-deserted Hikeda’ya ruins outside the mountain’s gates.
Most of those who came to the market were overseers buying cheap blankets, clothes, and food for both mortal and changeling workers. A few of the more fortunate mortals like Tzoja herself, mostly body slaves and other pets of the Hikeda’ya nobility, came looking for luxuries—scents, drinks, and foodstuffs more suited to their human tastes than what was given to them by their masters. But although most of the goods were meant only for mortal slaves and the poorest Hikeda’ya—no Norn of any standing would be seen mingling with the human herd—Tzoja was still constantly reminded that she now lived among the fairies.
Mingling with the hundreds and hundreds of mortals (and the smaller contingent of armed Norn guards keeping watch over the market) were a large number of the only slaves the Norns considered lower than mortal men and women—the changeling Tinukeda’ya in all their weird variety. There were carry-men, of course, manlike beasts of burden almost as tall as wild giants, with immense, muscular shoulders and tiny, empty-faced heads that showed no alteration of expression even when they stumbled under their monstrous loads. But Tinukeda’ya came in many other shapes as well, from the small, scuttling hairy things that worked on the highest mountainside farms in other parts of the Nornfells to the slender, mournful-faced delvers, who, despite their spindly appearance, could not just dig faster than either humans or Norns but also shape stone with the delicate ease of a man carving soft wood. Tzoja watched a pair of these delvers with bleak amusement as they bargained almost silently with a gem-seller: the owl-eyed creatures’ flinching hurry to be out of the sun and back into soothing darkness was the exact opposite of her own desires. But body shape alone meant nothing, not here: her Norn captors themselves, although more manlike than any of the changelings, were as different from Tzoja as a wildcat from a rabbit.
She should have been used to it by now. How long can you live in such a place and still feel that you are caught in a terrible dream? But it was an empty question, because she knew the answer was forever. Or at least until she died.
Tzoja did her best to banish such dire thoughts so she could enjoy her scant time in the sun, but it was not easy. Pointless as it was, she knew that the dream of escape would never completely leave her—she had spent too many years under the open skies ever to be able to surrender. Still, all she had to do was look around to be reminded of how hopeless such thoughts were. The slave folk never looked up at the Norn guards, and barely raised their voices above a whisper even when they were bargaining with other mortals. Back in Rimmersgard, where she had lived so many years in such ignorant happiness with Valada Roskva, the Rimmersgard matriarch and healer who had given her a home, the noise of the entire market would have been suitably respectable from a crowd gathered for a funeral. Even so, inside the mountain that was now and forever her home, so many mortal voices at once would be considered an unbearable, traitorous clamor, and would be quelled by swift violence. So the slaves barely whispered even out here, beneath open skies.
What good is freedom that cannot be used? she wondered. Is the poor gift of life worth so much?
But of course it was not her own life that held her in thrall. And because she had given birth to that beloved life, Tzoja knew she was doomed to live and die among a people stranger to her than the beasts of the field, and would never know real peace.
Even Tzoja’s Hikeda’ya lord and lover Viyeki, who was unlike his kindred in so many other ways, and who had been more considerate of her than any other of his kind would ever have been, did not understand Tzoja’s restlessness. The magister seemed to consider it an endearing but inexplicable mortal oddity, as a child might laugh at a dog chasing its tail, seeing only the low comedy and not the horrible futility. And Viyeki was by far the best of them.