She knocked on the door. Rupak could smell the marijuana smoke seeping out from behind the door and muffled conversation and laughter on the other side. All these people from Delhi with whom he had nothing in common except for a city. It was like an exclusive club and he was not sure he knew how to talk to people studying comparative literature and math. He would have to find the business students and stick with them.
Rupak was welcomed into a room filled with smoke and soft music he did not recognize. This was not at all the kind of gathering he had been expecting—he was prepared for either loud Bollywood music or contemporary American hip-hop. Those were the two brands of Indians he was used to—the ones trying hard to assert their Indianness, and the ones trying hard to assert their Americanness. But Rupak instead found himself standing in the middle of a room filled with neither. He followed Serena into the kitchen and poured himself a strong vodka tonic. She stood next to him while a man passed her a joint. Rupak was curious to see what she was going to do with it. He had not expected to see her like this. She was wearing jeans, the ends of which were folded up to expose a sliver of skin and gray ankle boots with short heels. On top she was wearing a bulky white sweater and her hair was loose and a little messy. She tucked some of the hair behind her ear and took the joint and brought it to her lips. She inhaled, looked up toward the ceiling, and exhaled slowly. Rupak and the man who had passed her the joint just watched. Serena let out a small cough, smiled, passed the joint to Rupak and said, “Rupak, this is Ashish. He’s doing his MBA. Ashish, this is Rupak. He’s from Delhi and he’s doing his MBA at Ithaca College. But he’s also really interested in film.”
While leaving Beebe Lake, Rupak had told Serena that he was studying at Ithaca College. He made it sound casual, as if there were no reason why she should have assumed he was studying at Cornell, and she had accepted it equally casually, as if she hadn’t assumed he was studying at Cornell. And then they hadn’t spoken about it. He got the sense that Serena thought it was interesting in its strangeness—her less-successful rich friend who preferred Beebe Lake over books. She didn’t ask him much about his life, and Ithaca College quickly got tucked away with Gurgaon. Until she just mentioned it, he wasn’t even sure she had registered it.
Ashish said, “Hey,” and Rupak nodded at him, inhaling deeply from the joint.
“Did you study at SPV too?” Kunal asked.
“No. I know Rupak through my aunt,” Serena answered. She picked up her vodka tonic and slipped out of the kitchen, leaving Rupak alone with Ashish. They both looked at each other and sipped and smoked for some time, Rupak wondering if Ashish had ever slept with Serena. Ashish asked Rupak a few questions about his classes, and Rupak answered and did the same.
“Are you looking at jobs in New York next year?” Rupak asked.
“No, I’m going to head to Bombay. I interned at Mahindra after undergrad and I want to work for them full time. My girlfriend lives in Delhi, so that’ll be a lot easier. Are you planning to move to New York?”
“I think so,” Rupak said. “I hope so. I want to go into investment banking, so it makes sense.”
“I would think Bombay or Hong Kong makes more sense. Does Serena know your plans?” Ashish asked.
“Oh no,” Rupak said. “We aren’t, she isn’t…we’re just friends.”
Ashish nodded.
Rupak thought about how easy it would be to date Serena—how comfortably she would fit in his life. Despite what she said, he thought they had a lot in common and his parents would certainly approve of that. But he didn’t think Serena thought of him as more than a friend. Seeing her here in this world, he realized she had an ease around her male friends that made it impossible for him to read her. Was she hoping he would kiss her at the end of the night? He wanted to want to. He found her beautiful and appealing, but the word appealing wasn’t exactly making him excited. He never thought about Elizabeth that way. With Elizabeth, there was a physical hunger—he had never wondered whether to kiss her; he just had to kiss her.
Rupak took back the joint and had another drag. He had to be careful to smoke just enough to feel relaxed but not so much that he started feeling fidgety. He was already feeling more like an outsider than he had in recent years.
“What does your girlfriend do?” he asked Ashish.
“She’s a costume designer for films. I’m trying to convince her to move to Bombay with me, but she loves Delhi. I can’t deal with Delhi and the whole who’s-who of it all. Serena said you make films, right? You should move to Bombay too. Have you spent any time there?”
Rupak shook his head.
“Where did you do film, then? You won’t even think of moving to New York once you’ve spent some time in Bombay. You really feel part of things there, you know—the movement.” Ashish stopped. “Did I just say ‘the movement’? I’ve smoked too much. Here, finish the joint. I’m going to go sit down for a bit.”
He walked out of the kitchen and Rupak stood there holding the joint and finished his vodka tonic with two large sips. Serena came back in the kitchen with another beautiful Indian woman. Serena took the joint from his fingers, picked up a lighter from the sticky kitchen counter, and used it to relight the end while introducing him to Pallavi.
“She’s the one doing a PhD in comparative literature.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rupak said. “You’re also from Delhi?”
“I went to school there but then I left. I haven’t lived in Delhi for years now,” Pallavi said, pouring herself a drink. Over her shoulder, Rupak made eye contact with Serena, who was standing in the doorway of the cramped kitchen, smiling in his direction, the vodka already making her eyes sparkle.
“Where do you live now?” Rupak asked.
“I’ve already been in Ithaca for three years, I guess. My God, it’s been too long. But I was living in Goa before this. You’re from Delhi, right?”
Rupak nodded and asked, “What was in Goa?”
“I ran a bookshop. And surfed,” she said, laughing. “That sounds so ridiculous now. But I got it in my head that I wanted to be a surfer, so I moved to Goa after college.”
“And you fell in love,” Serena added.
“And I fell in love,” Pallavi nodded, “With an Israeli hippie, no less. Don’t ask. Anyone need a refill?”
Rupak and Serena declined, and Pallavi took her drink and went back into the living room. Serena stepped closer to Rupak and whispered, “Are you okay here? You’re just hiding in the kitchen.”
“I’ve been talking to people. I like it. I like them. I don’t know people like this from Delhi. How did she meet an Israeli hippie?”
“In Goa. Haven’t you spent any time in Goa?”
“I went one winter with my parents, but I don’t remember seeing any Israeli hippies,” Rupak said.
“Goa with your parents is very different. You should go for New Year’s Eve sometime. That’s the Goa my friends and I go to. We started going right after we finished school. Pallavi had just moved there, so the first time I went was with her brother.”
“The one you dated?” Rupak asked.
“The one I dated,” Serena said.
“I talked to Ashish for a while. He seems nice.”
“He is. He has an identical twin. I can never tell them apart. Fortunately, the twin lives in London now.”
“Did you ever date Ashish?”