“The future. You, me, him or her. I see Christmas mornings and birthday parties. I see you standing behind our child waiting for him to blow out his candles on every cake you put in front of him. I see Lacey and Blackie, their wedding, their kids, their life we get to be a part of. I see visits to Jack, sharing with him all the stories he’s missing. I see rides, long rides to nowhere particular. Dinners with a table full of your brother’s, big family dinners.”
“I see all that too,” I admit, eyes still closed tightly as my lips trail down her neck. “It’s called forever, Sunshine.”
She places her hands over mine.
“You,” she whispers.
“Me,” I reply, brushing my lips across her shoulder. “Marry me, Reina. Let me spend the rest of my life seeing forever through your eyes.”
“You think I don’t want to marry you? Jack there is nothing, not a thing, I want more in this lifetime, in this crazy world than to marry you. I told you before I was scared and that’s no lie. I’m so scared of losing you. It was never a question of whether I want to be your wife, it’s a question of whether or not I’ll get to be. I have such a bad feeling that something will happen, something terrible and it’ll all be over before it began. Our perfect forever gone before we even get to say I do.”
I growl and something feral explodes from my mouth as frustration gnaws at me. I promised I’d keep my fucking eyes closed because all I want to do is spin her around, force her to look me in the eye when I tell her there isn’t a goddamn thing in this world that will stop this wedding from happening.
I may not know much.
Might not be worthy of anything at all.
But I know for sure that Reina was put on this planet to be Mrs. Jack Parrish. She was born to wear my patch, born to be my old lady.
And me?
I was put on this earth to love her.
To heal her as she’s healed me.
To protect her and chase away her demons.
“Reina, I can’t promise you we won’t face times that are ugly. I can’t promise that club business won’t fall into our laps, at our doorstep or even at special times like the one we’re about to share but I can promise you I protect what is mine. I can give you my word, I always fight for what is mine, and you, you’re mine, this forever is mine, it’s Property of Parrish.” I smile at her. “And you know how serious I take my property.”
“That scares me, Jack, because I know you’ll lay down and die before you let anything ever touch me, this baby, Lacey. You’ll always choose us over you. Don’t you get it? I choose you. I choose your life.”
“We all gotta die sometime. When our time is up, it’s up, but I’m not dying anytime soon, Reina. I’m going to live to a ripe old age. I promise you that,” I say with conviction.
I believed it or I wouldn’t swear it. God didn’t want me, Satan didn’t either, the only way my existence will end is when this body of mine grows old and tired, worn like the boots she wouldn’t let me wear today.
I feel her turn around in my arms, her hands on my face, inching up to my eyes.
“Open your eyes,” she whispers softly.
“You sure?” I ask, respecting her beliefs, even if I thought they were nuttier than a fucking fruitcake.
“Open your eyes,” she demands.
On command my dark eyes bore into hers
“Tell me what do see,” she says.
“I see a beautiful woman who is far stronger than any I have ever known. I see beauty. I see light. I see promise. I see her. I see me. I see a full life full of love. If I look closer, I see the answer to every question I have ever asked myself. I see relief from the darkness that has consumed me for most of my life. I see Sunshine. I see Mrs. Parrish,” I say huskily.
She grabs my face, rises onto her tiptoes and covers my mouth with hers. A kiss to seal the moment. I knew the moment I laid eyes on her, she would ruin me, wreck me, heal me and fix me. She would force me to feel. She would love me, accept me and honor me all the days of my life.
“Whose property are you?” She asks softly against my mouth.
It was a familiar question, one she asked me that same night she gave me her scars.
“Whose property are you then?” She asked, her eyes flickering with something I couldn’t name.
“No one’s,” I answered, taking her hands and pulling her toward the bathroom.
“Whose property are you, Parrish?” She repeats.
I pull back an inch, cup her face in my palms as I lean my forehead against hers and stare into her eyes, into her soul.
“Yours.”
Always yours, Sunshine.
Forever yours.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Alone.
Darkness, my only friend.
My mind, my only companion.
I am confined to four walls, never to see the light of day again. The only time my body will touch the Earth’s soil is when it is buried beneath it.
Seconds feel like hours, hours feel like weeks, and days feel like years. I have no idea what day it is or how long I’ve been trapped here. By the scent of me I’m guessing it’s been a damn long time. I’m filthy, my throat is parched, and my stomach is empty. My already failing lungs are collapsing, disintegrating from the cancer and I feel as though I am suffocating. I have no strength left, not even to stand and walk to the toilet and I faintly feel the warmth flood my pants.
The pride I hung onto with all my might is gone.