Norma and Macky were coming up on their twenty-fourth wedding anniversary, and Macky was so hard to buy a present for. Most women got something for their husbands at the hardware store, but when your husband owns it, it’s a problem. So she wound up buying him a pair of pajamas with fishing lures on them from Sears.
Macky had a similar problem. He never knew what to get Norma, and the date was getting closer and closer, so when he saw the ad in the paper about the cemetery plots on sale out at Still Meadows, it was like an answer to his prayers. He ran over early the next day and was glad he did. He got the last “two-for-one plots” left. Arvis said there had been a run on plots all morning. He said since the minute he opened his office door, plots had been selling like hotcakes.
Norma was still in her housecoat when Aunt Elner called. “Happy anniversary,” she said.
“Oh, thank you, Aunt Elner.”
“What are you two lovebirds doing to celebrate? Are you going out to eat?”
Norma sighed. “I suppose so.”
“Where?”
“I don’t know. He said he was going to surprise me.”
“What’s the matter, honey? You don’t sound happy.”
“Well…I guess I’m not. You won’t believe what Macky gave me for our anniversary.”
“What?”
“Are you sitting down? A his-and-hers burial plot out at Still Meadows. I said, ‘Macky, a burial plot is not exactly romantic.’?”
“Awww, I think it was real thoughtful of him.”
“Maybe so, but I would rather have had something I can use now. What fun is a burial plot? I won’t even be alive to enjoy it.”
Aunt Elner laughed.
“You can laugh, but I don’t think there is a thing funny about death.”
“Oh, honey, you mustn’t lose your sense of humor. Death is just a part of life.”
“It’s a serious and horrible part of life, and I hate it.”
“Yes, it’s serious. Losing our loved ones is the hardest thing we humans will ever have to go through. I think that’s why the good Lord gave us a sense of humor. Because if we didn’t have that, we would surely all die of grief, don’t you think?”
“Well, maybe, but…I can’t help it. Just thinking about it gives me the willies.”
“Well, sweetheart, we’re all gonna die one day.”
“Yes, but I don’t want to. And I don’t want to have to think about me or Macky dying, especially on my anniversary.”
“Very few people do, but, nevertheless, it’s gonna happen, and as for me, I’m ready to go whenever He sees fit.”
“Aunt Elner…I swear. If you die, after what I went through losing Mother and Daddy, I’ll never forgive you. I’ll even have Tot Whooten do your hair.”
Aunt Elner laughed. “Ohhh, then I’d better hang on. I don’t want to wind up looking like Ida.” Norma had to laugh in spite of herself.
“Oh, my God, Aunt Elner, will you ever forget how Tot fixed Mother’s hair—all poufed up on one side?”
“It’s a good thing Ida was dead or else she would have killed both of us.”
“Poor Tot. And she thought Mother looked so pretty, too. All through the viewing, I was just horrified. The look on people’s faces…”
“I know. I was there. But bless her heart. Tot has good points. Unfortunately, doing hair is not one of them.”
Norma then screamed with laughter.
“Well, you know it’s true.”
“Oh, God…let’s just pray she retires before we die, or we’ll wind up with a pouf.”
After she hung up, Norma wiped her eyes with a napkin, and she did feel better. Aunt Elner was right. Macky buying her a burial plot for her anniversary was sweet, and the more she thought about it…well, it was pretty funny. Some women get rubies and pearls. She got a plot.
1975
It was twelve noon, the day after Easter, when everyone heard the siren go off. A few minutes later, the clear blue April sky suddenly turned an ugly, sick-looking dark green, and the wind picked up and began whipping around in circles. Merle Wheeler saw the gray spinning cone first and yelled, “Tornado!” Soon they all heard the loud roar as it got closer, twisting and twirling right through town, spewing roof shingles, chicken coops, and lawn chairs in the air, then passed right overhead, taking baskets of Easter lilies and broken parts of the old wooden archway up at the cemetery along with it. An eerie silence followed, then came the sound of fire trucks and news helicopters.
Everybody up at Still Meadows waited, worrying about their friends and family members in town. By the horrible sound of it, they were sure that many people would be coming up in a few days, due to the tornado. Will Shimfissle was especially concerned about his wife, Elner. “God, I hope she reached the cellar.” Thankfully, her neighbor Verbena had warned her in time, and she had made it to her cellar along with her cat and a baby squirrel she had in a shoebox.
—
AFTER A FEW WEEKS, when not one person came in, they were all relieved. Gene said, “I guess nobody was killed. That’s good.”
He was right. But the tornado had taken down the old wooden water tower and had completely leveled the entire Elmwood Estates Trailer Park. There was nothing left of it now but a vacant lot full of broken and scattered butane tanks and thirty-four cement slabs where mobile homes had once stood.
Many people in town immediately volunteered to take in families rendered homeless by the event. A kind and generous neighborly gesture to be sure, but everyone who signed up made one stipulation. “We will be happy to do it, as long as it isn’t the Griggs family.”
The parents were one thing, but it was the son they were really leery about. Eleven-year-old Luther Griggs was a hellion on his way to being a fully fledged juvenile delinquent. He had tried to burn the school down twice.
By the following week, all of the families had temporary homes. But only one displaced family remained. Luther’s parents decided to go back to West Virginia, but they thought it was best to leave Luther behind to finish out the school year.
“I ain’t gonna live with some old lady,” he said as he was being dragged up Elner Shimfissle’s front stairs with a paper bag of donated clothes. A frustrated Merle Wheeler, who was in charge of the Placement Committee, said, “Well, Luther, that’s too bad, but she’s the only one who will take you, so shut up.”
Elner was at the front door to greet him. “Well, hey, little Luther. Come on in and welcome.”
Luther did not move, so Merle pushed him through the door and said, “Good luck, Elner,” and left in a hurry.
Once inside the house, Luther glared at her. “I ain’t gonna stay.”
“Well, that’s fine, honey. But before you take off, let me fix you a little something to eat and maybe wash those clothes for you.”
“Well…but I ain’t gonna stay. And you can’t make me.”
“I’m sure not.”