And this is what she’d realized: Everything she’d been taught was wrong.
Sometimes, Saina blamed her mother. It wasn’t just that May Lee had died so suddenly and ridiculously, it was that she’d lived that way, too. Even as a child, Saina had felt that there was something wrong in the way that her mother’s mood had shifted based solely on her father’s attentions. In second grade, when the class was learning how to tell time, Saina remembered a worksheet that asked you to write down what your parents did all day. Her Father chart was jammed with entries.
6 a.m. to 7 a.m.—He plays tennis.
7 a.m. to 8 a.m.—He talks on the phone.
8 a.m.—He leaves for work.
8 a.m. to 7 p.m.—He makes makeup at his factory.
7 p.m.—He comes home.
7 p.m. to 10 p.m.—He plays with me and we all eat.
Her Mother chart barely had two.
6 a.m. to 11 a.m.—Sleeping.
11 a.m. to 7 p.m.—Shopping. Wait for Daddy.
She hadn’t realized that other people’s mothers had hobbies and charities and jobs. That they didn’t just wait, inert, for their husbands to come home and bring them back to life.
Love saves you, as long as there’s a you to be saved.
Saina tilted her head so that it rested against the rough pillow of Leo’s hair and closed her eyes to the sun. They were sitting back to back on a long bench out behind Graham’s restaurant, sharing the New York Times and mugs of tea, waiting for their friend to finish lunch service so that he could join them on an afternoon hike through the dells to an abandoned farmhouse that Saina had heard about.
“You know, this relationship has really been hard on poor Gabo,” said Leo, knocking his head against hers. “He ended up doing all of the basil yesterday.”
“Leo, why are you a farmer?”
“Why?”
“Yeah, I mean I know it was your job in high school, but did you just love growing things?”
He moved his head rhythmically against hers as he considered. “I do like growing things, but that’s not it. I’m interested in systems. Did you know that plants can recognize each other and will share resources with other plants in the same family? Plants are networked the way our brains are networked.” Saina smiled at his excitement. “And I liked the challenge of creating a system to work with that system, and to profit from it. And I like being outdoors.” She could feel his low tenor buzzing through her chest.
“Talk some more. I like the way it feels.”
“Like we’re sharing a voice box?”
She laughed. “Like you’re talking inside of me. Can you feel me? Or is my voice too high?”
“Talk again.”
“You’re so dreamy,” she squeaked. “Hee hee hee!”
He laughed a low, booming laugh that reverberated in her ribs and lungs, and made her crack up in response.
The restaurant door swung open. “Hey, gigglers!”
Saina wiped a tear from her eye and Leo beckoned Graham—still in his dirty chef’s whites—over. “Here, let’s see what happens with a threesome.”
“I thought you’d never ask!” He ran over, ginger beard bouncing, tripping a bit on his rubber shoes. “What game are we playing?”
Saina and Leo scooched sideways and made a space for Graham. “Okay,” she said, “lean against us and see if we can both feel you talking.”
“My ass is going to edge you guys off this thing,” he said, turning and sitting. As he did, they all felt a buzz. “I’m magic! Is it like static electricity?”
“Actually, that’s my phone.” Thinking it was Grace again, Saina moved to shut off the buzzing when she saw the number. “Sorry, guys.” She jumped up and answered as Graham called after her: “I thought we were a threesome! What’s so secret that you don’t want us to echo it?” In that split second, she also registered Leo’s worried turn towards her. He thought it was Grayson, of course. He thought that she was still susceptible. That would have to wait.
“Hello?”
“Can I speak to Saina, please?”
“This is.”
“Saina, it’s Bryan Leffert. I’m sorry it took us some time to get back to you.”
“That’s okay.”
A week ago, once it became clear that the bankruptcy wasn’t just some dramatic misinterpretation of her father’s, Saina had called her accountant and asked him about the situation. She’d thought of it as more of a precaution—the money was hers, she could give it to her family, everything would be fine.
“Look, I’m just going to get straight to it. We weren’t sure whether this was going to happen, so we didn’t want to worry you needlessly, but it looks like First Federal is attempting to place what is essentially a lien against your trust.”
Except that now it wasn’t.
“I don’t understand. I thought that once I passed twenty-five that was it. That it was just mine.”
“That’s not quite the case. Because of a little creative accounting, your father’s business was shielding the interest on your accounts from the IRS, which now leaves them susceptible to being treated like they’re part of his assets.”