“More than that. Okay. I’ll stand down. For now.” She broke into an evil cackle.
“You’ll also give me my present.”
Her cackle got eviler, but she handed me a small gift bag.
I peered inside. “Smutty fridge magnet poetry. How thoughtful.”
“Since you’ll soon be old enough to have sex for the first time,” she said. I snorted. “I’m imparting the sage wisdom of how important communication in the bedroom is.”
I flipped the box over to check out the example tiles. “‘Body spank want wet.’ Yes, I anticipate this facilitating mature and reflective conversations around intimacy.”
We cracked up.
My mother entered in one of the black blouses to announce that dinner had been laid out in the dining room. The green one would have really lit her up. Why did I bother? The laughter died on my lips.
Yael nudged me. “Not worth it.”
“Damn straight.” I pasted a smile on my face.
The meal went by without incident. Since it was a buffet, people were free to eat anywhere, so I loaded up my plate and went back into the TV room.
I’d been stopped by more people wanting to say hello, so I was the last one back. Someone had arranged the seating into a loose circle around the coffee table. I took the last empty chair between Leo and Rohan. Yael sat sandwiched between Kane and Ari on the sofa.
“You know.” Kane stabbed at a piece of rotini in pesto-artichoke sauce. “You two being born today makes a lot of sense.”
I swallowed my grilled salmon. It was covered in a mustard-maple syrup vinaigrette I was considering getting a dipping bowl full of, next go around. “Why? Because we’re Geminis and twins?”
“Laaaame,” Leo said.
“No, smarty pants.” Kane smirked. “Because every Gemini I’ve ever known has been stubborn as hell.”
“So true! These two especially.” Yael scooped up some roasted fingerling potatoes. “The stories I could tell.” Which of course she did, though thankfully they were the tame ones.
Ro caught my eye during the tale of me at age six telling my dad that I “rejected his rational opinion in favor of my own.” “I find that so hard to believe,” he said.
“I know.” I pushed the plate away, rubbing my full belly. “I’m so easygoing. You’re truly blessed with my low maintenance.”
“For which I give daily thanks.” Ro helped himself to the remaining rib on my plate.
There was a lot of laughter and silly small talk. It was so different from last year when the only person I’d had here for me had been Ari. I didn’t know Rabbi Abrams or any Rasha, not that the hunters had been invited. Even Yael hadn’t come, in the midst of her horrible divorce. Leo and I hadn’t been speaking and there hadn’t been anyone else I was close enough to want to invite.
You couldn’t pay me to go back to that existence.
Finally we got to my favorite part: the cakes. Everyone sang “Happy Birthday” as caterers brought in the desserts: a “balls inside” St. Honoré with the cream puffs both inside the sheet cake as well as on top for Ari and a super deluxe chocolate for me. Each had twenty-two candles because there had to be the one for good luck on each.
“Make a wish,” Leo called out.
I looked at Rohan, closed my eyes, and blew.
“One boyfriend,” Yael said.
I opened my eyes but she wasn’t talking about my cake.
Ari muttered for her to shut up and blew his last candle out. Silly boy. Might as well have waved a red flag in front of a bull, because Yael grinned and said, “Let’s make a list of candidates!”
Rabbi Abrams had snuck in during the singing, so I brought him a slice of the “balls inside” which Mom always made sure was Kosher.
“Thank you for getting me to Dr. Gelman.”
He took a bite with a happy sigh. “You’re welcome.”
I stood there a moment, fidgeting.
“I’m not mad at you, Navela, but this is a sad situation.”
“I know.”
“You will keep me in the loop on all of it from now on, yes?”
“Yes.”
He nodded. “Happy birthday. You are a good Rasha.”
I gave him a watery smile and headed into the powder room down the hall in search of tissue.
“Everything good with Rabbi A?” Rohan held out a piece of chocolate cake to me.
I nodded, throwing my damp tissue in the trash. I hadn’t actually cried which was a total win. “I already tried both kinds.”
“Yeah, but you want seconds of the chocolate.”
I really did. We went and sat on the hallway stairs with our legs nudged together, me occasionally feeding him bites since it was a two-person piece. Fine, it was sharing-sized only because I’d already had two pieces and couldn’t plow through this one alone.
I put the empty plate on the stair beside me, braced my elbows on my knees, and dropped my head in my hands.
Rohan rubbed my back. “Talk to me.”
“I want a do-over on today.” I was rubbed raw. I’d woken up and nearly had a heart attack over Rohan making me think he hadn’t given me a gift, I’d seen Dr. Gelman, checked up on Christina and Naomi, and Sienna had told me I was dumb. I’d had more people ask me when I was going to start doing something useful and having kids than I wanted to count. Even the word of the day for today was awful.
Some things were good. Rabbi Abrams believed in me. But my own dad didn’t. No one in my family, except for Ari and Yael, thought I had what it took to actually do something cool with my life. My insides were a jagged jumble and any birthday happiness I’d accrued lay broken and battered on their sharp edges.
My mom walked past, her heels clicking on the tiles. “Nava, why aren’t you mingling?”
I tensed up.
“She needs a break,” Rohan said.
“Your concern is very nice, dear, but Nava can’t just selfishly hide away when all these guests have come to celebrate with her.”
“Be real,” I said. “Four, maybe five of these guests came to celebrate with me, and they’d all understand. The rest came for you and Dad.”
“It’s not fair to your brother to put this all on him.” Her “as usual” was unspoken but very much implied.
“God knows Ari’s feelings must always come first.”
“There’s no dealing with you when you’re like this.”
I straightened up with a snap. “Like what?”
Rohan stopped rubbing my back. “How about we go outside and get some air?”
“No, Ro. I really want to hear her answer. I’ve been putting up with insults all night at this sham of a birthday that has nothing to do with me, because in my entire fucking life it’s never been about me where she’s concerned. So tell me, Mother Dearest, how I should be behaving?”
“I’m not going to make a scene in front of your guests, no matter how much you want me to. I apologize for my difficult daughter, Rohan, but it was nice to see you again.” She turned away. “Now I need to speak with the caterers.”
“For fuck’s sake, Mom, I’m not being difficult. You’re being a bitch.”
She flinched like I’d slapped her. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” She strode off, holding a hand up to Ari, who’d arrived.
I muttered a curse, curling in on myself.
“You want to go after her?” Rohan said.