“Big deal. You exchanged flinging yourself off cliffs for flinging yourself into work. Real growth. Christina, gimme your new number.”
She held up a finger and waggled the vial at Naomi. “It’s not addictive and there’s no hangover. I’ve done it a couple of times already so yes, I do know firsthand. It’s also way less dangerous than the shit you used to pull and you won’t have weird bruises to explain to your uptight firm. Merely a fun night that leaves you revitalized and ready to scale those lawyerly mountains. There, I’ve destroyed your objections, counselor.” She licked the drug off her palm. “Plus, it tastes like cotton candy.”
Her PSA over, she reeled off her phone number.
The second I had it, I dropped my phone in my clutch and snapped the clasp shut. “Excellent. I’ll call you. As for you, Naomi, I’m going back to my boyfriend and forget you exist.”
Naomi actually snorted. “Who’d you steal this one from?”
I gave her an icy smile. “Keep running on that hamster wheel. Maybe if you go fast enough and achieve enough, no one will realize you have absolutely no personality. Just an addict, held together by insecurity and rage, desperate for a rush to make you feel alive.”
Christina gasped.
Aw, shit. My eyes darted away from both their faces, my fingers fiddling with the diamante clasp. This was what happened when I let things fester. Spewage and emotional carnage.
“Fuck you. You have no idea how hard I work.” Naomi’s voice trembled.
Calvin Harris’ “This Is What You Came For” came on and I flinched at the memory that came with it. Christina, myself, and a few others had gone back to the apartment she shared with Naomi near campus to chill. That song had pulsed on low through the speakers and the air was fogged with the sweet smell of pot.
It was the time of night when people got cozy and shared past experiences. I’d been telling them about my Lincoln Center debut back in high school. The whole room had been silent except for me and that song, and yeah, the shine of admiration in their eyes had eased the constant sting of hurt a bit. Tap had been such a sad topic for me during that period, and it had been nice that night to remember the highs and not just the lows.
Naomi had burst in, eyes bright, loudly retelling some craaaazy adventure she’d just had. Like, the last one had been insane, but this one? She’d nudged me to the side so she could sit next to Christina, except there wasn’t enough room on the couch so she ended up half-squashing me instead. She’d sucked all the air out of the room, totally disrupting our mellow vibe and killing my tale. I’d never understood why everyone not only indulged her spotlight-hogging, but was so charmed by it.
Keeping my mouth shut since speaking out against her was pointless, I’d reached for the joint in the ashtray and lit it.
Naomi had waited for me to inhale. “Geez, Little Miss Gimme. Never enough with you.” This from the woman who had literally just interrupted herself mid-story about BASE jumping. Flinging herself off buildings, slacklining it across canyons, yes, it was cool, but she was such a hypocrite accusing me of being extreme.
Her crew called themselves the Full Tilt Gang for fuck’s sake. Half the stunts they pulled were done illegally, so her moral high ground was built on quicksand.
Christina had shot me a sympathetic smile but the others had snickered unkindly. Not ten minutes ago they’d thought I was the coolest person alive, and here Naomi had totally turned them against me. Naomi had smirked, taking her friend’s arm and monopolizing her in conversation, my existence forgotten.
The same way she now clutched Christina’s arm, not so much possessively as in defeat.
My gut twisted. I’d fired off a lot of smart remarks in the past, but my comment to Naomi now had been a bitch too far. I didn’t want to deliberately hurt others anymore. I was doing good in the world.
I wanted to be good in the world.
“Naomi, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bringing up the past. But you do deserve a night off,” I said. “The earth will continue to spin. The lawyers work you to the bone and in return you get no interesting tasks, no praise, and no life. Besides, you’re ridiculously smart. I’m sure you can knock out the items on your minion list in record time. Do this stuff, don’t do it, but enjoy yourself tonight. Normal is important.”
Naomi snatched the vial away from Christina, rolling her eyes. “I don’t need you to tell me how to have fun. I trademarked that shit.”
So much for my genuine, heartfelt attempt at being friendly, Bellatrix.
Christina squealed and clapped her hands while Naomi licked up the crystals. In her excitement, she failed to notice that when Naomi tossed the vial out, there was still some left at the bottom.
A cautious good time on the menu, then. Whatever worked for her. As for me, I waved bye to Christina, catching the door and shouldering past a group of chattering women spilling in.
Rohan waited for me at the end of the short hallway leading to the restrooms. His lopsided grin soothed my fraying edges.
“Hel-lo,” Christina said, having followed me. “I could ride that boy into next week.”
“Words spoken by many a woman with working eyeballs,” I said. “Yup, he’s all the catnip. But he’s also more than just a hot body.”
Christina gave me a searching glance. “You know this how?”
“That’s my boyfriend.”
Naomi’s mouth fell open as she stared at Rohan. “No way. He’s dating you?”
To be fair, his moss green shirt emphasized his broad shoulders and leanly muscled, V-bod. It was like his East Indian/Jewish genes had convened a summit at his conception to negotiate for maximum incredible. He was magnificent, but for me? His humor at 2AM blending me smoothies that he named after our demon kills–the Tezcatlipoca Mocha Blast was my fave–the effort he’d made getting to know Ari and Leo, and the steadfast belief in his convictions even as he helped me dig deeper into the Brotherhood, were even more attractive. I respected the hell out of him.
“Way, baby.” I said. “We don’t match, but we go.”
Rohan crooked a finger at me and all three of us sighed.
“I underestimated you,” Naomi said.
“Yeah,” I replied. “In more ways than one.” I hugged Christina goodbye with mutual promises to see each other soon and headed for my guy.
Rohan slung an arm around me, glanced back at the women, then kissed the side of my head. “You okay?”
I leaned into his steady comfort. “Perfect.”
The opening notes of George Michael’s “Freedom” kicked in and he tugged me onto the dance floor, squirming past the other dancers into the center. He caught me around the waist, singing into my ear about roads to Heaven and Hell as we grooved to the music, all rolling hips and sinuous arms.