“Okay, last question.” Her voice was croaky, so she tried again. “Last question. What do you remember about why we broke up?”
His smile was forced this time. “Well…that’s an easy one. I wanted to get married. You didn’t. A guy definitely doesn’t forget getting rejected in public while he’s down on one knee.”
Emma withheld the wince. Barely.
“I had to ask,” she said, feeling foolish. “I mean, I’m trying to keep the interview questions the same with everyone, so it’s not like I wanted to rub it in—”
“Ems.” He leaned forward and smiled. “It’s been a few years. I said I hadn’t forgotten, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t healed. I promise I’m not going to throw myself out the window on this incredibly high floor you’re living on.”
She nodded toward his near empty Scotch glass. “More?”
“Nah, I’m good. What else do you need from me?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. As promised, this was short and sweet. I just needed five minutes. But if there’s anything else you want to add…”
He held her gaze. “There’s lots I want to add. Nothing you want to hear.”
And then he stood, draining the rest of his drink before moving to the kitchen and setting the glass carefully in the sink. She hadn’t remembered him being that tidy when they were together.
“Thanks for coming, Joel,” she said, setting her notes on the coffee table and standing. “I know it couldn’t have been easy.”
He shrugged. “Well, I admit my first reaction was to say no, but then I realized that I needed to say something to you.”
Emma swallowed.
He clasped his hands behind his head and looked up at the ceiling as though looking for the right words. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he said.
She blinked. So not what she expected.
“Sorry for causing a scene that night. Sorry for leaving you with the bill, obviously. But mostly…I’m sorry for asking you to marry me. I meant it when I said you’d make me the happiest man on earth, but I knew—I knew—that I wasn’t the one that could make you happy. But I asked anyway.”
He glanced down at the counter. “It was selfish of me. And I’m sorry.”
Emma groaned. “Joel, you are ridiculously good. You know that, right? An annoyingly good guy. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Not even for the restaurant bill?” he asked with a smile.
“Okay, yes, two-hundred-dollar champagne wasn’t exactly in my budget.”
“Well, I’d say I owe you, but I was only able to get fifty percent of the cost of the engagement ring back, sooo…” He winked.
“Call it even?” Emma said as she walked him to the door.
He pulled his coat off the hook, draping it over his arm as she opened the door.
He stepped into the hallway then turned back, his broad body taking up all the space in the door.
Joel’s smiling eyes turned sad for a moment as he looked down at her, his smile fading into something that looked like contentment. As though he knew this was the last time they’d see each other, and was at peace with it.
He used two fingers to tilt her chin up to his, then laid his lips against hers, softly. Lingering only for a second before pulling away. “Good-bye, Emma. I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. Or ditch whatever haunts you.”
Joel turned away then, nodding with a quiet good night to the man who’d just approached the neighboring apartment.
Cassidy.
Cassidy nodded briefly to a departing Joel, but his eyes never left Emma’s. His expression betrayed nothing, but Emma knew he’d seen the whole thing. Seen the kiss.
She lifted her chin, refusing to feel embarrassed or guilty.
He unlocked his door and entered his apartment. The door closed without a word uttered between them.
Emma closed her own door, then stood there for several moments, unmoving.
Then she leaned her forehead against the door and closed her eyes. Joel’s parting words echoed in her ears.
I hope you find whatever you’re looking for. Or ditch whatever haunts you.
It was good advice.
But what if what she was looking for and what was haunting her were the exact same thing?