Clementine
On the way to school, Mom worries. Her face is a frown and she says if anything at all happens, I should tell Miss Weber to call her and she will come and get me right away. I worry, too. I don’t want to see Miranda or hear her giggle or hear her say things about my dad. What I really want is for her family to move away so she doesn’t have to be at my school anymore.
Mom talks to Miss Weber for a few minutes at drop-off, and then she kisses my head even though she’d already done that twice already. She asks if I’m ready, and I fight my tears and say I am. Then I spot Ms. Donnelly coming toward us, and Mom leaves in a hurry.
Now, we’re in the gymnasium because it’s too cold to be outside. The gymnasium smells like feet. I’m on the floor, playing patty-cake with Legs, when I hear Miranda.
“Well, look who is back!” Miranda walks in between Legs and me. We let go hands—but it’s too late, Miranda’s falling. She lands with a smack.
“Are you all right?” I ask.
Miranda doesn’t look at me, just gets up quickly and grabs Legs’s hand. “Come on, Legs! Don’t play with Clem. She attacks people.”
I frown. “No, I don’t!”
“Liar,” Miranda says. “You flicked a twig in my eye and you scratched me at the dance.” She says this quickly, like she’s been practicing it. “And now you just tripped me.”
“I don’t attack people,” I say quietly. “I only attack you.”
Legs covers her mouth because she is giggling.
Miranda’s face moves like she’s chewing it from the inside. “Anyway,” she says, “my mom has spoken to Ms. Donnelly, and if you do attack me again, you’ll be kicked out of the school.”
Legs’s eyes widen. I wonder if it’s true or if Miranda is making it up.
“Anyway her daddy was a jerk,” Miranda says to Legs. “So she must be a jerk, too.”
I get to my feet. I want to slap Miranda’s face and tell her she is a jerk. But I don’t want to get kicked out of school so I push my hands into my pockets.
“Do you know how her daddy died?” Miranda’s voice is really loud. Her face is pinched, like she’s trying not to smile. I want her to shut it. I want to make her shut it.
Miranda puts her arm through Legs’s. “He killed himself,” she says in a loud whisper, and she juts out her chin and smiles.
“Shut up!” I yell, and my hands rise up out of my pockets, forming fists. They shoot toward Miranda. I don’t care that she is telling the truth. I don’t want Miranda and her jutting chin to say it.
Miranda’s eyes go wide and scared. But I don’t hit her.
“You didn’t know my daddy,” I say, and I run out of the gymnasium, out the side door, and I don’t stop running until I get to Rosalind House.
*
When I arrive at Rosalind House, I go right out to the garden. Angus is out there, digging in a garden bed, so I stay hidden behind the tree. The wind blows right through my coat and chills my bones. I shiver.
“Dad?” I close my eyes. “I want to talk to you.”
I let my mind go all empty. Then Daddy starts to form in front of my closed eyes. His face, his black hair.
“Daddy!”
I can see him only when my eyes are closed. His legs are crossed at the knee, and I remember how I used to sit on his foot and bounce like I was riding a horse.
I start to smile, and then I remember. “I am very angry with you, Daddy. You stole people’s money, and now everyone hates you.”
I think of Dr. Felder when she asked if there was anything else I wanted to say to Daddy. I decide there is.
“Because of you, Mom doesn’t have anyone to talk to in the playground when she picks me up. And Miranda keeps saying nasty things to me. And we live in a horrible apartment that smells like salami! And … you killed yourself. That makes me angriest of all. Sometimes,” I say, “I think I hate you.”
There are tears on my face and I want a hug, but I can’t hug Daddy, and anyway he is a bad man. So I just cry more.
I keep talking, telling Daddy everything I want to say. When I am finished, I feel a little better.
When I open my eyes, I see Angus, across the lawn. He’s standing up, talking to Mom, standing really close. Then Mom leans against him and Angus puts his arms around her. I watch them. She tips her head up so she is looking at his face and he pushes a piece of her hair behind her ear. She smiles. Then he puts his hands on her face and kisses her.
40
Eve
I tell Angus everything. How I started opening Anna’s doors, how Rosie had joined me. I tell him about my friendship with Anna, and about Eric finding out. Angus’s eyebrows rise a couple of times, but his eyes are soft. He puts his arms around me, tucks a piece of loose hair behind my ear. Then he gives me the softest, most wonderful kiss.
“So that’s it,” I say.
I wonder what Richard would say if he saw me now. His Eve, whose biggest stressor was what to cook for dinner, has real problems.
“So what are you going to do about Anna?” Angus asks.
“I honestly don’t know. I can’t lose my job—it’s the one thing keeping Clem at her school—”