Smiling, then realizing it was weird that I was smiling, I set my Doc aside and got back to work. After a quick train ride to Brooklyn, with my parents only too happy to be out of my company and back at work, I sequestered myself at a secluded table in a coffee shop at the top of Prospect Park, as was my way when I dove into work mode. I was getting close and I felt something like confident. I was going to logical think the SHT out of this.
I could do this all day, which was lucky, considering I might have to. I’d swiped sixty-four videos in before I even found a video that was non–Mr. E.–related.
It was footage that Audra had taken of me and the girls in the Rockaways, prancing around in our bikinis. The sight of so much skin and boobs and, in Fawn’s case, butt crack was horrifying. When Fawn had first posted the video, I’d thought it was adorable. Now, looking at my beautiful friends, I felt ashamed. Like we should have known better, but about what? Enjoying ourselves? Swimming? Having bodies? Kyle was in plenty of similar videos, naked except for his board shorts. But that would never be used against him. It wasn’t fair.
I untagged myself from the video, then multitasked and txted Sharma to see if she’d do a little digging on Jessie Rosenthal. Like, for instance, did her Brooklyn Public Library account also have borrowing privileges for the New York Public Library?
sharm Good thinking. Never cracked the library before, will try. Gonna be off Doc for next 30.
Sharma? Off Doc? Bizarre.
moi Mkays. Thanks, pookie.
Me using my hater’s slang? Bizarre times thirty. I took out a Sani-Wipe and swabbed my Doc clean as if that could erase my txt slipup. I needed to relax. My stomach was the size of a pixel. But the more videos I watched of myself, the worse I felt. Did we need to record and keep everything? I txted Audra:
moi Freaking out about amount of info that’s online about me re vids.
audy Think you’ve txted the wrong friend. You know my thoughts. Can never be too much info online. All this exposure is good for you.
Did Audra not remember all those tear-soaked Boobgate-related sleepovers sophomore year? Talk about too much info.
At the time, Audra was dating Cobi Watkins. He was quiet, a little preppy for Audra’s usual tastes, and a first-year prelaw student at Columbia. When she told us Cobi had asked her to send him naked pics of herself, my stomach did a serpentine twist with unease. I began to wonder aloud if that was the smartest decision, which, might I note, was also what I wondered aloud when Audra said she was dating a college guy to begin with. I mean, he could ask for nude pics all day as far as I was concerned; that didn’t mean she needed to send them, especially not after only a few weeks of dating.
But Audra did her head toggle and this pitying puckered-lip pout, and it was clear they’d already landed on his Doc. Fawn cheered and said, “Welcome to the club,” and they both generally acted like it was no big deal to send your boyfriend nudies. Until, not even a day later, Cobi forwarded the pics to all his friends. He didn’t do it to be vindictive. It wasn’t like he and Audra had argued or broken up. Titillating and bragging to his friends about his hot girl just rated higher than respecting her.
“If you didn’t want me to share your whorey pics, then you shouldn’t have sent them.”
One of Cobi’s friends knew a senior at Park Prep. It wasn’t long before half the boys at Prep had seen her topless. Audra eschewed her tech for a week. She also spray-painted CHILD MOLESTER LIVES HERE across Cobi’s dorm-room door and sent a letter detailing Cobi’s indiscretion to the dean of Columbia, as well as all his professors, and his mother.
That was Boobgate. I.e., Audra hadn’t been at all laissez-faire back when it was her body being fully exposed. And the pics hadn’t even claimed the top spot on her profile for longer than a few weeks. But I stayed my fingers.
Audy was right. I should have txted Fawn. I immediately rectified my mistake and forwarded Fawnie the original message. She’d be more sympathetic.
audy BESIDES, nobody looks at every single vid in a person’s cache. It’d take days.
As I waited for Fawn to txt back, I replied:
moi I guess that makes me feel better? Xmas Eve movie date night?
audy Can’t. Gonna meet Sharma in a couple then got other Xmas Eve plans. Xoxoxo
Wait. What plans? I thought we weren’t celebrating Christmas this year. So what were she and Sharma doing that I wasn’t invited to? Plus, I thought Sharma was off Doc. And why the H-double-L wasn’t Fawnie txting back? Whoa there, Kyle, I told myself. No need to go all paranoid. And yet, if this was my friends being supportive, this blank-faced emote was me being underwhelmed.
I swiped back to my ConnectBook, to the first ten Woofer videos that had nothing to do with the Mr. E. sex vid. The second Woofer was of three Park Prep girls. They were in the cafeteria, talking about a mustard/mayo preference. The person recording them must have gotten bored, because she panned from her friends and zoomed in on my lunch table. Or rather, she zoomed in on me. I reached over the back of my chair to pick up a dropped sandwich eco-baggie. My hair fell forward, curtaining my face. As I sat back up, I flipped my hair.
“Oh my gosh.”
It was like the person who took the video, focusing in on me like that, knew exactly what she would use it for. She didn’t even use a fake moniker. It couldn’t be any clearer: the poster was @EllieCyr.
Stay calm.
Everyone had access to these videos. It could be a total coincidence that my stalker had pulled footage from one that Ellie made, if that was even the clip. The angle seemed mostly right, but it would be nearly impossible to blend my hair into the Mr. E. video like that, and, let’s be honest, I wasn’t unknown for flipping my hair. But ten seconds before the clip ended, I smiled exactly as I did at the end of the Mr. E. video.
My chair screeched on the white tile as I pushed it backwards. Without a doubt, it was the source video and it was filmed by Ellie. Who was suddenly friends with Jessie. I hurried to the entrance. Sharma was powered down for thirty minutes, so I txted Audra instead because she was the last person in my txt thread.
moi Finished watching vids. When you see Sharma tell her the Woofer vid is from Ellie’s account. Gonna try and get to bottom of this Ellie & Jessie friendship. Regardless, finally have proof it’s not me!!!!!
I waited for a reply, but none came. Her txt line spooled for a moment. Then her avatar went red.