“Yes, my lord,” the footman said. “Apparently, they heard about your marriage as soon as they arrived in London, and they came straight here.”
“Lord help us.” Clarissa, too, was already frantically trying to set her clothing to rights.
Edwin stood. “Go and tell them we’ll be right there.”
“Yes, my lord.” Without looking back, the servant left.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Edwin held out his hand to help her rise. She took it gratefully, but when she was standing and he tried to release it, she wouldn’t let him. Squeezing his hand tight in hers, she said, “I’m so sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” It was hard to believe him, when he looked so remote and controlled. “But I want you to know that I won’t trouble you anymore by attempting to coax you into my bed.”
“Edwin—”
“I mean it. I realize now why you had me add that clause to the settlement. Because you really do need time to . . . adjust to me.” For a moment, his self-contained expression faltered. “Damn it, Clarissa, I wish you’d told me before . . . I wish I had understood . . .”
As if realizing how vulnerable he sounded, he stiffened. “It doesn’t matter. When you’re truly ready to consummate our marriage, however long that takes, you’ll have to be the one to initiate it, just as you requested from the beginning.”
“I am ready!”
“No, you’re not. Being willing to try relations isn’t the same as wanting them or being ready for them. And I won’t have you shrinking from me in fear because you can’t bear—” He broke off with a ragged breath as noises sounded beyond them in the woods. “Clearly we can’t have this discussion now. But until you’re prepared to talk about . . . why you shy away from me, I think you and I should not attempt this again.”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered.
“Admit it. You’re relieved that I said it.”
Oh, Lord, perhaps she was. But only a little.
“Edwin, where are you?” came a lilting voice from not too far off.
Drat it all. Yvette had found them.
A murmuring sounded as if the servant were speaking to her, and she said, “Don’t be silly—of course they want to see me.”
Edwin barely had time to snatch up his waistcoat and coat before Yvette came out of the woods saying, “Cook claimed you two were on a picnic, but I couldn’t believe it. I had to see for . . .”
She trailed off as she caught sight of them in their disordered state. Her cheeks reddened. “Oh. It’s that sort of picnic.”
Edwin’s jaw looked hard enough to slice stone. “Don’t be vulgar, Yvette. We were napping, that’s all. And you woke us.”
“Napping! You? In the outdoors? That’s almost as unlikely as your having a picnic.” Yvette swung her gaze from him to Clarissa. “Is he telling the truth?”
“Of course.” Clarissa hoped she’d fixed her clothing enough not to give them away. “You know Edwin. He never lies.” And being forced to do so now must be mortifying him.
“In that case,” Yvette said, “I’m so glad to see you both!”
Edwin walked up to kiss his sister on the cheek. “As we are to see you. We didn’t expect you in the country until next week at the very earliest.”
“I got some news and made Jeremy come back sooner.” Placing her hand on her visibly protruding belly, she said, “I suppose you can tell what my news is.”
Only Clarissa noticed the quick flash of pain on Edwin’s face before he forced a smile for his sister’s benefit. “Congratulations. We’re very happy for you.” He turned to pull Clarissa forward to stand next to him. “Aren’t we, my dear?”
His words were so obviously insincere that it cut her to the heart. She’d wounded him deeply. She hadn’t even realized until now how much he’d been looking forward to having children.
Lord, she was making a complete mess of this marriage.
“Of course we’re happy for you,” Clarissa said, fighting back tears.
Yvette planted her hands on her hips. “I would have been happy for you two, if I’d had any inkling you were getting married. How could you not tell me?” She arched an eyebrow at Clarissa. “Especially you. I never expect Edwin to tell me things, but you should have said something.”
“It happened very quickly,” Clarissa said. “I don’t know if you remember what occurred when I took that trip to Bath last year, but—”
“We’ll explain it all when we’ve got your husband with us, too,” Edwin cut in. “No point in relating the whole tale twice. Shall we go?”
With a nod, Yvette started off, chattering about her and Jeremy’s trip to America.
It was all Clarissa could do to make the usual responses. She was painfully aware of Edwin walking stiffly at her side, not touching her, not looking at her.
She hadn’t intended to make him feel so awful. She had to fix this, to let him know it really had nothing to do with him. But that meant telling him the truth as soon as she could get him alone.
Did she dare? Or would it drive them farther apart? Given what he’d said about his mother, he might actually understand.