I wanted to know that Shelby. I wanted to find out why she kept her dancing a secret when it meant so much to her and she was so fucking amazing at it that I kept sneaking back into that damn studio day after day just to watch her.
I’m alive and standing here right now because of that Shelby. I brought myself back from the brink of death for that Shelby. Now there’s not even a trace of her left. I know things change and I know the news of my death would have affected her and never left her untouched by sadness and pain, but why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to give up everything she’d worked so hard for and turn into her mother? It’s like she never existed even though I have six months filled with memories of us, lying naked in bed while she told me about her dreams, dancing together in her studio, doing whatever I could to make her laugh and watch her face light up, feeling her breath against my lips when I moved inside her and she gave me everything I never knew I wanted and more. Her dreams became my dreams, her hopes became my hopes, and I was determined to do whatever I could to make her happy and make all those things come true for her. I put in a transfer request for a base in New York so I could be close to her because I knew without a shadow of a doubt she’d nail that audition she spent all summer practicing for, I made plans for our future, and I did it all for her because I thought she was different.
I know I hurt her when I left. I know I could have handled it a thousand different ways than how I did, but when someone is threatening your family and the woman you love, it’s hard to put things into perspective when you’re given less than an hour to pack your shit and get the fuck out of the country. It only took me a few weeks to get my head out of my ass and try to make things right. Every day for the next three months, I tried to make things right by her, and she never responded, but I never gave up hope. Thoughts of her following her dreams and being happy kept my heart going through every beating, every day without food and water, every month without her touch, and every year without knowing if I’d ever make it out of there alive and make it back to her to beg for her forgiveness for the way I let someone else control me.
She wrote me off, turned right into that spoiled princess, making me now wonder if those six months were all a lie, and yet, I still can’t take my goddamn eyes off her. Even in a fancy dress that probably costs more than I made in a month with the Marines, I know there isn’t another woman in this room who can even come close to her beauty. Standing here, wanting to hate who she’s become, I clench my hands and lock my knees to stop myself from stalking over to her, dragging her into the nearest empty room, pushing her up against the wall, and fucking her until she magically turns back into the woman I loved once upon a time.
“This is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had and I have a feeling it’s going to end in bloodshed. Try not to get arrested, I haven’t saved up enough bail money yet.”
Rylan’s voice echoes through my head from earlier tonight when he lounged against the door to the spare bedroom at Kat and Daniel’s house and watched me get ready. He didn’t like the idea of me putting myself right on Georgia Eubanks’s radar, but at least he didn’t try to stop me. He knew how determined I was to get to the bottom of everything. He knew I wouldn’t be able to move forward with my life until I got answers as to why Shelby stayed here to work for her mother and until I made Georgia pay for what she did to us. He might be able to let things go, but this is personal to me. She fucked with my life and she fucked with my best friend’s life. She got half of our unit killed because of her low opinion of me and because she knew I was getting close to something she wanted to keep buried. My brothers. My fucking brothers lost their lives because one woman abused her power and influence to get me away from her daughter and the truth. Men who will never see their wives again, who will never kiss their children good night again, who will never get to spend another holiday with their families or grow old, all because of her. And now Shelby, the woman I loved more than my own life, follows her around like a fucking puppy, dresses like her, acts like her, and has erased any trace of the woman I gave everything up for.
“I’ve got some ass kissing to do. Will you be all right by yourself?” Daniel asks as he slides his now empty glass across the bar behind me.
I give him a pat on the back and a smile. “Just gonna ruffle a few feathers. I promise to keep my stink eye to a minimum.”
Daniel chuckles and shakes his head at me before he moves forward into the crowd. Smoothing down my tie, I slide my hands into the front pockets of my tuxedo pants and head in Shelby’s direction.
As I make my way through the dance floor, moving around couples locked together and swaying to the music, I see Landry McAllister walk up to Shelby’s side, wrap his arm around her waist, and pull her closer. He looks like every other douche bag in this place with slicked-back hair and a bow tie and I hate him on sight. When he leans forward and whispers something in Shelby’s ear and she pulls back and smiles at him, pressing one hand to his chest in a familiar, easy way, something violent churns in my gut and my feet start moving me faster across the floor until I’m standing right in front of the happy fucking couple.
I smirk at her when her eyes widen as she looks up at me, quickly dropping her hand from douche bag’s chest and pulling away from his possessive hold on her.
“How about a dance, Princess?” I ask, holding my hand out toward her with my palm up.
For just one second, so quickly I would have missed it if I hadn’t been staring into her eyes, I see a flash of something that looks like hurt, before it’s quickly masked with irritation.
Knowing if she refuses me, it will most likely cause a scene since a few people are standing close by and heard me ask her for a dance, Shelby has no choice but to put on a brave face in front of them, tell the fancy-pants jerk-off next to her she’ll be right back, take my hand, and let me lead her to the dance floor.
I came here tonight because I wanted to show Georgia Eubanks that she couldn’t push me around anymore. I wanted to make Shelby admit she was lying when she told me she’d moved on. I wanted to see that she missed me as much as I missed her; I wanted her to take back everything she said in those stables and tell me she still felt everything as deeply as I did, and that she never let me go. Being here tonight, seeing her interact with all these assholes and watching her with another man, just makes the anger inside me grow and fester until there’s nothing I can do to hold it back.
I want her to feel the same searing pain that has settled inside my chest, taking root and taking over all over my thoughts and actions.
I want her to know what it feels like to be stabbed in the heart and forgotten.
I want her to hurt as much as I do right now.
Chapter 9
Shelby