“You have the same hands as a grandmother? Good Gruyere, child. How many times have I told you about moisturizing?” she groans.
Noel continues to fidget nervously next to me and I suddenly feel so protective of her that I want to tell everyone in the room to fuck off. Who cares if she hasn’t settled down yet or changes jobs frequently? She’s beautiful and smart and funny, and she went through the trouble of bringing a stranger home with her for Christmas just so they wouldn’t be disappointed. I’ve never met anyone who would go through that kind of trouble for anyone, let alone family.
“Noel is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She’s kind, she’s intelligent, and she puts everyone’s needs before her own. I’ve never met a more selfless, amazing woman than her and believe me, it would be an honor to have her as my wife someday,” I remark softly, looking right at Noel and blocking out everyone else in the room who has suddenly gone quiet, including Noel herself.
“You are, you know,” I tell her quietly. “You’re amazing.”
I brush my fingertips across her forehead to move her long bangs out of the way so I can see her eyes and watch them quickly fill with tears. I immediately feel bad. It wasn’t my intention to make her sad. I just wanted her to know that no matter what her family says, she’s a wonderful woman and she shouldn’t feel bad about the choices she’s made in her life. I’ve never once thought about getting married or spending my life with one person, but sitting here looking at Noel so quiet and sad, I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and spend forever reassuring her that she’s perfect in my eyes.
I have lost my fucking mind. All this happy family togetherness and Christmas bullshit has turned me into a *. Why the hell aren’t I pissed about that? Why does the thought of spending the rest of my life with the woman next to me make me happy instead of sick to my stomach? We barely even know each other.
Maybe I just need sex, that’s the problem. Once I get a release, maybe all of these feelings will disappear and I’ll go back to being normal. Back to being perfectly content with my quiet, solitary life that doesn’t include rotten eggnog threats and bullets to the balls.
“I think I need some air,” Noel suddenly announces, untangling her legs from underneath her and pushing up from the couch. “S-ooogan, how about we go for a walk?”
She almost slipped again and called me Sam and part of me wanted her to do it. Just say my name in front of all these people and forget about this charade. Tell them who I am and why I’m here, and let’s be done with this bullshit. But I know that can’t happen until she’s ready. It’s bad enough her family keeps badgering her about her life, she’ll never hear the end of it if she comes clean about me.
I get up from the sofa and take her outstretched hand as she announces to the room that she’s going to take me around the yard to see the rest of the lights. I found out earlier that the front yard was just a small taste of the display and the backyard, a full three acres, is a winter wonderland where people can walk along a path lit with candy cane lights to see everything on judging night for the lighting display contest. I’ve seen some of it out the back windows of the house and Noel promised me earlier she’d take me out to see everything. Now seems like the perfect time to get away from her family for a few minutes so she can clear her head, so I’ll do whatever she wants, even if it doesn’t include her getting naked out in the freezing cold.
Noel doesn’t say a word as we walk through the house to the backdoor in the kitchen and I help her into her winter coat. I start to wonder if I crossed the line and said too much and if she’s pissed at me. I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and boyfriends say shit like that about their girlfriend’s, right? It’s not like it was out of character for me to say that stuff and make her feel better about herself. It’s not like she needs to know I really meant that shit and wasn’t acting.
I shrug into my own coat as she opens the door and traipses out into the snow that has begun to fall since we got home from the outing earlier. The temperatures plummet as the sun has already set, and the brightly flashing lights are our only way to see where we’re going as we make our way out into the backyard.
“Noel, I-”
“Shut up,” she cuts me off with a sharp whisper, striding so fast I have to jog through the snow to catch up with her.
Yep, she’s definitely pissed. Maybe the things I said weren’t dumb-shit-Logan enough and that’s why she’s mad. What if her family knows he doesn’t say nice things like that and she knows I just ruined everything for her?
Shit, shit, shit.
“Will you just let me—”