He inclined his head.
‘At the time of your arrest, I was no longer working for the Sargas; they had finally grown vexed with my refusal to play the game by their rules. They cut off my considerable salary, which hurt – I had grown used to finery, and to power. And yet, I did not betray you. I saved your life. I put myself in considerable danger to do so. It was when you betrayed me at the scrimmage – only then that I decided to return to my makers. Not only to continue my lifestyle, before you accuse me of avarice, but to continue my education.’ Smoke pirouetted from between his lips. ‘We can learn from the Rephaim.’
He finally looked back at me. The roll of paper was already up my sleeve.
I had no guarantee that anything he said was the truth, but his story held together.
He might have saved my life, but that didn’t mean he cared about me. He cared about his own pride. He knew he had been the envy of other mime-lords and mime-queens for having a mollisher of my rarity. I had been worth money, money Hector had taken.
‘If all I’ll learn from them is how to be like you,’ I said, ‘forget it.’
‘It is too late, Paige. You are already like me,’ he said, ‘and dyeing your hair will never change that.’
‘If you’ll excuse me, Grand Overseer, I’d like to go back to my cell,’ I said tightly. ‘I find myself missing the quiet.’ I had no time to waste on his games.
As I stood, he snapped upright and hooked a finger under my chin, freezing me. He coaxed me close, so I could smell the cigars and sweetness on him.
‘In that case, I will come to my reason for bringing you here. There was a reason, beyond stories,’ he said very softly. ‘Nashira is about to present you with your execution warrant.’
I had expected it, but I still turned numb.
‘I suppose this is goodbye, then,’ I said. The slightest quake crept into my voice, in spite of myself.
‘Not necessarily. There is a chance that I can secure a stay of execution.’
‘How?’
‘You could be very useful to the Sargas, Paige. I have told them that you might be persuaded to join this side of the conflict, under my instruction. I will be Grand Overseer in Sheol II, personally selecting voyants for the new colony.’ He didn’t break his hold on my face. ‘Come with me to Paris. I will offer myself as your mentor. You can become my protégée and retrain as a red-jacket.’
Another Sheol. A return to hell.
‘And Nashira would agree to this,’ I said.
‘She doesn’t want to kill you. Not until your spirit has . . . matured a little more.’ His grip tightened. ‘Think of it, Paige. Mime-lord and mollisher, together again. There is so much more I can teach you about clairvoyance, so much for us to learn together. And think of the alternative. Your gift – your beautiful, singular gift – in Nashira’s clutches.’
‘She’ll have it in the end,’ I said. ‘Dead or alive, I’ll be used as a weapon. Better that I face it now.’
‘You must stop being so noble, Paige. It will not save you.’ I couldn’t escape his eyes. ‘You can convince yourself that you are nothing like me. Tell yourself that you are the black to my white, the queen that stood on the right side of the board. But one day, you will be faced with a choice, as we all are. One day you will have to choose between your own desires, your own darkest impulses, and what you know to be right . . . and it will harden you. You will understand that all of us are devils in the skins of men. You will become the monster that lives inside us all.’
I started away from him. This wasn’t the first time that his words had sounded like a prediction.
The Devil.
Had it been me all along?
Was it the devil in myself – the devil deep beneath my skin – that I was meant to resist?
On the surface I was composed, but my insides were a jigsaw of conflicting thoughts. Like a moth, I was drawn to the light that he offered. I was afraid of the humiliation and pain that Nashira would put me through. I was afraid of losing myself to that pain, of losing my mind to it.
I could say yes, with a view to escape. I had played Jaxon’s games for four years; I could play for a while longer. But Nashira would have considered this. She would have devised some way to keep me under control.
And I knew Jaxon too well.
‘I find it hard to believe that Nashira agreed to this without the promise of something in return,’ I said.
He smiled. ‘Tell me where the Mime Order is.’
This time, I would listen to the cards. If I agreed, I would be making a deal with that devil inside.
‘Not a chance in hell,’ I said. ‘Not if you offered me anything in the world.’
‘You disappoint me.’
‘The feeling’s mutual. You once said, in On the Merits, that we had to fight fire with fire to survive,’ I said. ‘Did you lose your nerve, Obscure Writer?’
His face closed, and he released me. ‘All I lost was my na?veté. I have always had the best interests of our kind at heart.’
‘How is it in our interest to work for the Rephaim?’
‘They need us. We need them. You were going to start a fruitless war with them – and war will not improve conditions for clairvoyants, Paige. What we need now is a time of stability and co-operation.’
‘Have you said as much to your employers?’
‘The Republic of Scion is not at war.’
‘I saw the depot, the factories,’ I said. ‘The Second Inquisitorial Division is preparing for war, and I won’t flatter myself by thinking it was all for me. Who are they invading?’
For some time, he gazed out at the sparkling Thames.
‘Scion has long had a tenuous understanding with the free world,’ he said. ‘Scion tolerates them, and in return, they tolerate Scion, in spite of occasional incursions.’ He paused. ‘You may have noticed ambassadors from two European free-world countries in the Archon. Weaver has invited them here to demonstrate to them the advantages of Senshield, to persuade them that it will identify unnaturals in their countries with infallible accuracy, in the hope that those countries will peacefully convert to Scion. If they do not . . . well. Let us say that my hopes for peace may be scotched in the short term.’
As I realised what he was implying, the muscles in my abdomen clenched.
Someone was knocking at the door. Jaxon turned back to me.
‘Our time is up. Nashira will make you a final offer,’ he said. ‘If you wish to live, take it. Think of yourself.’
Another knock. ‘Grand Overseer,’ a voice called.
Suddenly I was full of pity, of sorrow, of grief for the man he might have been. I went to him and touched his face with one finger, imagining what it had been like once, before the knife had given it a new shape.