‘You must remove Jaxon’s remaining supporters, Paige.’ He had stopped. ‘It is Terebell’s desire. Fail to do this, and you risk dissatisfying her.’
‘You just heard me—’
‘I was not referring to his supporters in general. You know which two I mean.’
Zeke and Nadine. I glanced at him from behind my hair. ‘Have you told Terebell that I haven’t evicted them from I-4?’
‘Not yet.’
‘But you will.’
‘I may have no choice. She will ask.’
‘And you’ll tell her.’
‘You seem exasperated.’
‘Do I really, Warden?’
‘Yes.’
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. ‘Terebell is obsessed with the tiny minority who support Jaxon,’ I explained, calmer. ‘She needs to stop. I know she hates him – I know it’s personal for her, and for you – but having to think about it is distracting me from things we need to focus on, like Senshield.’
‘She views your unwillingness to replace him as a sign that you are secretly loyal to your old mime-lord. That you await his return. Your refusal to expel Zeke and Nadine will only increase her suspicion.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake—’ I shrugged on my jacket. ‘I’ll deal with it. Give me a few days.’
‘You have delayed the matter because of Nick’s feelings for Zeke.’
‘You might know Terebell’s mind, Warden, but don’t presume you have any insight into mine.’
He fell silent, but his eyes burned.
Heat fanned across my face. Before I could say anything more, I snatched up my bag and headed for the door.
‘You may think me subservient to the Ranthen. Perhaps my respect for duty disappoints you,’ he said. I stopped. ‘Terebell is my sovereign-elect. I owe her my service and my allegiance – but do not think me some mindless instrument of her will. I remind you that I am my own master. I remind you that I have defied the Ranthen. And still do.’
‘I know,’ I said.
‘You do not believe me.’
A long breath escaped me. ‘I don’t know what I believe any more.’
Warden’s gaze darted across my features before he lightly touched the underside of my jaw, lifting my face. My heart thumped as I looked him in the eye.
The contact awakened something that had lain dormant for weeks, since the night before the scrimmage. As we watched each other, linked by the barest touch of his fingertips, I didn’t know what I wanted to do; what I wanted him to do. Leave me. Talk to me. Stay with me.
My hands moved as if by instinct – smoothing up to the rounds of his shoulders, settling at the nape of his neck. His palms stroked down the length of my back. I searched him the way I might search a map for a path I had known long ago, chasing the familiar, learning what I had forgotten. When our foreheads met, my dreamscape danced with the flames he always set there.
We were quiet for a while. My fingers found the hollow of his throat, where his pulse tolled – and I wondered, as I had before, why an immortal being had need of a heartbeat. I willed it to calm me, but it only made my own run faster. His hands rasped through my curls; I felt his breath flit over them, felt warmth race and rise beneath my skin. When I couldn’t stand the separation any more, I wound an arm around his neck and closed what space was left between us.
It was lighting a fire after days in the rain. I pressed my mouth to his, feverishly seeking a connection, and he answered in kind. I tasted wine first, a hint of oak, then him.
The strain of staying away from him had almost snapped me in half. Now I was cradled to his chest, I had thought that strain would ease, but I only wanted him to hold me tighter, closer. We kissed with a hunger that was almost a hurt, an ache deepened by weeks apart. I felt for the door handle, found no bolt or key to protect us from discovery – but I couldn’t stop. I needed this.
His lips unlocked mine. Our auras intertwined, the way they always did. My heart pounded at the thought of Terebell or one of the other Ranthen walking in; the uneasy alliance being torn apart. ‘Warden,’ I breathed, and he stopped at once – but now I had him back, I couldn’t bring myself to end this. I brought him back to me, his hands back to my waist. As I caught my breath, his lips grazed over the scar on my jaw and turned my skin as delicate as paper. Gently, he opened the top of my jacket and kissed my throat, brushing over the pendant that rested between my collarbones. A low sound escaped me as a shiver worked its way down my body.
I only sensed the dreamscape when it was far too close. With a jolt, I broke away from Warden and threw myself into the nearest chair. Maria strode in a moment later.
‘Forgot my coat. Still here, Warden?’
He inclined his head. ‘Paige and I had a private matter to discuss.’
‘Ah.’ She grabbed her coat from the back of a chair. ‘Paige, sweet, you look . . . feverish.’
‘I do feel a little warmer than usual,’ I said.
‘You should see Nick about it.’ Maria looked between us. ‘Well, don’t let me keep you.’
She slung her coat over her shoulder and left.
Warden stayed where he was. My blood was hot and restless in my veins. I felt tender all over, like his touch had stripped off armour I hadn’t known was there. There was no one else close, no one else coming.
‘I almost forgot about the hazards of being in your company,’ I said, trying to sound light.
‘Hm.’
Our eyes met briefly. I wanted, needed, to trust that this was real – but I was frozen by the reminder of the danger, and by the memory of Jaxon, that mocking laughter in his eyes. Arcturus Mesarthim is nothing but her lure. Her bait. And you, my darling – you fell for it.
‘I should . . . get some sleep.’ I stood. ‘It’s Ivy’s trial tomorrow.’
Her trial for being part of the grey market; for helping the Rag and Bone Man sell voyants into slavery.
‘You will come to the right decision,’ Warden said.
He knew, somehow, that I wasn’t sure what to do with her. ‘Is Terebell sending someone to witness the trial?’
‘Errai.’
Great. Errai was about as friendly as a punch in the mouth. ‘Do not give me that look,’ Warden said softly.
‘I’m not giving you a look. I love Errai.’ My smile faded almost as soon as it appeared. ‘Warden, I— never mind. Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, little dreamer.’
The other three didn’t ask why I had taken so long to join them. Nick knew about Warden, and I had a feeling Eliza suspected. I sometimes caught her looking between me and Warden, eyes astir with curiosity.
We set off into the blizzard. As we fought our way through the wind, I tried not to think about what had just happened. Maria had come so close to seeing the truth, and while I doubted she would have gone to Terebell, she wouldn’t have been able to resist telling at least one of the other commanders. Our secret could have been out. No matter how much of a weight off my shoulders it had been to be close to him again, it was just too dangerous.
But I missed talking to him. I missed just being near him. I wanted him – but what I wanted might be an illusion. It had seemed so much simpler before I had become Underqueen.