Captain Neill would not have her now.
He stirred in his armchair by the fire. The rhythm of his breathing told her he was awake. Perhaps he was even watching her.
“Brody…”
He yawned. “I’m here.”
“What time is it?” Surely, by the sounds of the city outside, it had to be mid-morning.
There was a pause while he checked his watch. “Half nine.”
Angelica had not slept that late in years. She must truly have been exhausted. She wondered what kind of schedule he kept. Was this hour early to him, or had he been up since dawn?
“You could not have been comfortable sleeping in that chair,” she said, pulling herself up against the pillows. She was careful to keep the bedsheets over her bosom—more for the sake of his sensibilities than hers. “Thank you for giving me the bed.”
Wordlessly, Captain Neill shoved his feet into his boots. The cushioned chair creaked as he rose to stand before her. “I didn’t sleep much. I’ve been too busy thinking about our predicament. I think I’ve reached a solution, though it’s temporary and sketchy, at best.”
“Do tell.”
He paced the narrow room. Nervous. Uncomfortable in her presence. “The most obvious answer would be to put you up somewhere. Here, perhaps. There’d be a cook to feed you, and maids to clean for you. You’d be safe, and I’d pay to make sure you were properly looked after…”
Angelica’s heart caught in her throat. He was going to leave her again.
“…Except, I don’t trust you to behave yourself. You’d cock up my plan by bringing a man up here—some stranger passing through, who you might’ve met downstairs in the restaurant. I refuse to spend my money so you can have a more convenient place to slake your lust.”
He was right. She would get lonely without him. She would become desperate yet again. “Visit me, then. Let me be your…your mistress. I won’t need other men as long as I have you.”
“Truth is, I find that thought distasteful. And, if you’ve been up to as much mischief as you’ve led me to believe, I’m sure you’re pregnant.”
She hugged the covers around her like a shield. How could he say such hurtful things to her? “I believe the fever that took my eyesight also robbed me of my ability to conceive—God’s way of protecting those of us who aren’t fit for procreation.”
“Let’s hope so. All the same, I’d rather wait until you bleed to discuss further arrangements.”
Angelica nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Good. This coming week-end is my sister’s twenty-first birthday. Most of my family will be there, and I had thought it a good time to introduce my future wife,” he paused, adding, “That was before, obviously. But I cannot miss my sister’s party, and I can’t leave you here by yourself, so you’ll have to come with me.”
Surely, she’d misheard him. “You’re taking me to meet your family? On your sister’s birthday?”
“Would you rather stay here alone?”
“No.” The last thing she ever wanted was to be alone. Not in a strange place. Without him.
She was so confused. Last night, she was sure she hated him. Now, hearing his voice, and feeling his warm presence, Angelica could only remember the sweet pleasure of their first, strange night together. She’d been chasing that pleasure for months, and had not found so much as a taste of what he’d given her.
Perhaps it wasn’t the pleasure that she was missing, but, rather…him.
That unwelcome realization confused her all the more.
She didn’t want to miss Captain Neill. Admitting her infatuation gave him more power over her than she felt comfortable with. He’d broken her heart once before. She never, ever wanted to feel that way again.
Captain Neill sank onto the foot of the bed, keeping a safe distance between them. “I think we’ll both feel more comfortable knowing you’re not alone. Come with me to my parents’ house. It won’t be all bad. You might actually have a bit of fun.”
If Angelica could prove to herself that what she felt for him was sexual—nothing more—she could go through with his ridiculous plan. She absently let the bedcovers fall from her chest. By the sharp intake of his breath, Angelica knew he liked what he saw. Her other lover had liked it, too. In fact, that man’s hands had never seemed far from her breasts, always clutching, tugging, and lifting them up to suckle. He couldn’t seem to get enough of them.
Surely, Captain Neill would feel the same way. If he took her now, they could clear whatever this tension was that hovered between them. Then, afterward, they could both move on with their lives.
He swore, and stammered, “Angelica. Will you please—”
“What?” She played the fool. What did a blind girl know about seduction? “Could I please what?”