Nana went to bed at eight. When the girls had first come to live with her after the accident, neither had questioned this fact. If they weren’t tired when she announced it was time to go to sleep, they’d use flashlights to play dolls and read books in the dark. By their thirteenth birthday, Faith had graduated to romance novels while Grace had figured out how to climb out the window. At first Faith would lie awake and imagine what would happen if her sister didn’t come back before dawn, but she always did. It took her a year to get up the courage to ask where she was going and another year to decide she wanted to sneak out with her. Now they looked almost exactly the same - wavy dark blonde hair that fell to their shoulder blades, a nose that tipped up at the end. Grace’s eyes were more green than hazel even though Faith knew she was the jealous one.
“No way.” Grace didn’t consider before refusing. “Stay home and read your books.”
“I want to go,” Faith whined, picking up one of Grace’s discarded shirts and holding it up. She stared in the mirror and wondered what it would be like to put it on. It was revealing. If Nana knew Grace had tops like this…but Nana didn’t know.
Grace didn’t say anything as she applied another coat of mascara. She fluttered her lashes a few times then spun to face her sister. “Look, this isn’t going to be your kind of party. We aren’t going to french braid each other’s hair or play spin the bottle.”
“I know.” Faith made a decision. She would prove she knew exactly what she was getting into. Yanking her tank top off, she changed into Grace’s shirt. It was thin enough that she should get a bra.
“I can see your nipples,” Grace pointed out.
“So?” Faith shrugged, hoping that she wasn’t blushing.
Her sister sighed and tossed her a push-up bra. “Here. You don’t need every guy in Pioneer Square trying to cop a feel.”
“Pioneer Square?” Faith’s courage began to slowly ooze from her. Pioneer Square wasn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood in Seattle in the daylight. A few months ago, Faith had witnessed a drug deal on a street corner near the light rail station.
“Is that a problem?”
She was calling her bluff. Faith shook her head.
“Okay. Go check and see if she’s sleeping yet.”
It took effort to keep quiet as she tiptoed down the hall to peek into Nana’s room. She was going to a party. That close to Pioneer Square meant it wasn’t just some thrown together kegger while someone’s parents were out of town. This was the real deal. As she reached her grandmother’s room she remembered what she was wearing. If she wasn’t asleep, she was going to have a hard time explaining why she looked like a stripper, even a classy stripper.
Nana was snoring.
Oh my God, this was going to happen. Faith’s stomach lurched and she clutched it. Closing her eyes, she reminded herself that she would be there with Grace. Her sister might be wild, but she wasn’t going to risk their lives. At least, she hoped she wouldn’t.
Trailing her hands along the cold plaster wall she made her way slowly back to her bedroom careful to avoid the squeaky spots in the wood floor. It was stupid to be so excited and so nervous at the same time. There would be drinking there and boys. Definitely boys. Would one of them touch her? She wanted one to even though she’d never admit it, not even to Grace. Tonight instead of lying in bed and imagining a boy’s fingers slipping between her legs to that persistent achy point she touched in the dark, she might finally experience the real thing.
She wasn’t going to be afraid, not tonight.
“We good?” Grace asked as she reappeared.
Faith swallowed and bobbed her head. Grace didn’t bother to ask for details instead she slid open the bedroom window. That was the nice thing about the tiny, old bungalows that made up most of their neighborhood: they were one stories. It didn’t take any effort to climb up and lower her body down. All in all, it lacked some of the thrill she had expected. It was almost too easy to sneak out.
“You have to close it to about here,” Grace instructed her, leaving a one-inch gap. “Any higher and it won’t stay open. Any lower and the paint on the sill will stick. Trust me, you don’t want to pry that open at 4 am.”
“I remember when you learned that,” Faith said dryly. She had been the one to find an old screwdriver and force it open when Grace knocked sheepishly at the window.
“Never hurts to remind yourself.” Grace grinned, slinging her small purse across her body. Did she look like that when she smiled? Catlike and coy? Grace smiled like she had secrets, and Faith hated that. She, herself, was as transparent as a mason jar. There was nothing interesting or titillating about her. Her parents had died. She lived with her grandmother. She got straight As. Not a drop of the scandalous to be found.
The small party was crammed into a run-down house on the outskirts of Pioneer Square but a little farther downtown than Faith had pictured. A few girls her age eyed her curiously as she made her way inside, sticking close to Grace. It took a few minutes for her to realize that people weren’t staring at her, they were staring at the both of them. She should be used to the attention. Being an identical twin meant growing up with the constant commentary of passersby. This was different somehow. There was something calculating in those stares. Years later, she would understand that they were responding to the novelty of the pair of them. Novelty was always a valuable commodity in those circles. It opened doors and wallets and bottles. For now, it left her feeling uneasy.