“Do you have any clue who his father is?” It burst from her, more accusation than question.
“There was really only one other guy around that time.” But she didn’t share anymore, instead her voice pitched up an octave. “I want to see him, Faith. He’s my son. Have you told him about me? What did you say?”
Grace’s head began to spin. She shook it but it didn’t grow any clearer. She closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. Faith was here for her son with some random guy and not a lot of explanation. “He’s too little to understand, but no, I didn’t tell him that his mommy took off when he was a week old. I thought it was better to spare him that, too.”
“Too? What the fuck does that mean? What’s happened?” Faith’s palms flattened on the table and for the first time, since they sat down she stopped fidgeting.
“He’s deaf, Faith.” She dared her to ask why.
But Faith sat back and frowned. “That’s okay. Jason has money. There are surgeries and stuff to fix those kinds of things, right?”
“Highly invasive surgeries.” So Jason was a cheater with a lot of money who had known Faith for years. This time she couldn’t dismiss the pit widening in her stomach. “Don’t you even care why he’s deaf?”
She looked momentarily confused. “I guess…Was there an accident?”
“No, this was on purpose.” Now it was all coming out. All the things she’d wanted to scream at Faith as the doctors spoke about Max’s treatments. The fact that the police had shown up at the house looking for drugs. “It’s a birth defect. A direct result of his mother using while she was pregnant.”
“I barely did.” But Faith’s defense was feeble and short-lived. She’d been pregnant when she returned to Seattle, but not very.
“Did you use while you stayed with me?” It was all she needed to know. “After you found out you were pregnant?”
“Grace.” Her eyes darted around the cafe as if she was checking for eavesdroppers. She licked her lips again. “Only a couple of times. You don’t understand how hard it is to just give it up cold turkey. I had to get by.”
She was using now. Grace had suspected as much but in the last half an hour Faith had proved it. Fidgeting. Licking her lips. She was fucked up right now.
“You can’t see him.” Her voice was as frigid as the chill overtaking her body.
“I’m his mother,” Faith hissed. “You can’t keep me away from him.”
“The court granted me custody when you took off.” It was a lie. Grace had simply pretended to be her. With the same face and identical DNA, it had been easy enough to just take over. Of course, it had also meant carrying the burden of Faith’s sins. Grace had been the one doctors silently judged. She’d severed ties with most of Faith’s old life—and her own, and took over caring for Max as if he was her own son. Somewhere along the line he had become her son. She no longer thought of herself as a placeholder in his life.
“I’ll file a petition then. Jason has money, remember? I don’t want to have to get lawyers involved. I just want my son.”
And there it was. She wasn’t there to visit. She was there to take him away to a life of instability and heartache. “Fine. You can see him, but you can’t just run off with him, Faith. Promise me.”
“I won’t.” It was a lie. They both knew it. Faith could only claim one true talent: disappearing. She’d vanished from Grace’s life last time as swiftly as she’d appeared. She was a magician and her secret was coke.
“When?” Grace’s mouth was dry as she asked.
“Tonight?” Faith suggested eagerly. “Jason can’t wait—”
“I’d like to meet Jason before he’s around Max.”
Faith tensed, her shoulders squaring. “Why don’t you trust me?”
The answer to that question was too long and painful for Grace to bear. Instead, she reached out and took Faith’s trembling hand. “I just need to. He’s a stranger and I have to look out for Max until we straighten things out.”
“Okay.” Faith let out a long sigh. “But I don’t want to wait to see Max. Can I come tonight?”
Grace nodded, the pit in her belly turning into a sink hole. It wouldn’t hurt for Faith to see Max and as long as she played by Grace’s rules, she could keep things under control.
She hoped.