The Ship of the Dead (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard #3)

“Why?” I asked. “Why not…noses? Or elbows?”

Njord paused. “I never considered that. Not sure! Anyway, Skadi figured the most handsome husband would have the most handsome feet, right? So, we all stood behind a curtain and she went down the line, looking for Balder, because he was always the one everyone thought was the most handsome.” He rolled his eyes and mouthed, Overrated. “But I had the most beautiful feet of all the gods, as Odin must have known. Skadi picked me! You should’ve seen the look on her face when she pulled back the curtain and saw who she had to marry!”

Blitzen crossed his arms. “So, Odin used you to trick the poor lady. You were a booby prize.”

“Of course not!” Njord looked more startled than angry. “It was a great match!”

“I’m sure it was,” I said, anxious to prevent Blitzen from getting turned into a dinghy or whatever other punishment the ship god could deal out. “You two lived happily ever after?”

Njord shifted his back against the rail. “Well, no. We separated shortly thereafter. She wanted to live in the mountains. I liked the beach. Then Skadi had an affair with Odin. Then we got a divorce. But that’s not the point! My feet on the day of the contest—they were amazing. They won the hand of Skadi, the beautiful ice giantess!”

I was tempted to ask if he only won her hand or the rest of her, too, but I decided against it.

Blitzen stared at me. He twitched his hands like he wanted to sign something ugly about Njord but then remembered that Njord could read ASL. He sighed and stared at his lap.

Njord frowned. “What’s wrong, Mr. Dwarf? You don’t look impressed!”

“Oh, he is,” I promised. “Just speechless. We can all tell that…uh, your feet are very important to you.”

What is your beauty secret? Hearthstone asked politely.

“Several centuries of standing in the surf,” Njord confided. “It smoothed my feet into the perfectly sculpted masterpieces you see today. That, and regular pedicures with a paraffin-wax treatment.” He wiggled his shiny toenails. “I was debating about buffing or no buffing, but I think the buffing really makes those piggies shine.”

I nodded and agreed that he had very shiny piggies. I also wished I didn’t have such an odd family.

“In fact, Magnus,” said Njord, “that is one of the reasons I wanted to meet you.”

“To show me your feet?”

He laughed. “No, silly.” By which, I was pretty sure, he meant yes. “To give you some advice.”

“On how to buff his toenails?” Blitz asked.

“No!” Njord hesitated. “Although I could do that. I have two important bits of wisdom that may help you on your quest to stop Loki.”

We enjoy bits of wisdom, Hearth signed.

“The first is this,” Njord said. “To reach the Ship of the Dead, you must pass through the borderlands between Niflheim and Jotunheim. This is harsh territory. Mortals can perish from the cold in seconds. If that does not kill you, the giants and draugrs will.”

Blitz grumbled, “I’m not enjoying this particular bit of wisdom.”

“Ah, but there is one safe harbor,” Njord said. “Or at least one potentially safe harbor. Or at least one harbor where you might not be instantly killed. You should seek out Thunder Home, the fortress of my beloved Skadi. Tell her I sent you.”

“Your beloved?” I asked. “Aren’t you divorced?”

“Yes.”

“But you’re still friends.”

“I haven’t seen her in centuries.” Njord got a distant look in his eyes. “And we didn’t exactly part on good terms. But I have to believe she still holds some affection for me. Seek her out. If she grants you safe harbor for my sake, that will tell me she’s forgiven me.”

And if she doesn’t welcome us? Hearth asked.

“That would be disappointing.”

I took this to mean: You will all end up in Skadi’s meat locker.

I didn’t like the idea of being my grandfather’s test balloon for a reconciliation with his ex-wife. Then again, a potentially safe harbor sounded better than freezing to death in twenty seconds.

Unfortunately, I got the feeling we hadn’t heard Njord’s worst “helpful” advice yet. I waited for the other shoe to drop, even though Njord did not appear to own any shoes.

“What’s the second bit of wisdom?” I asked.

“Hmm?” Njord’s focus snapped back to me. “Oh, yes. The point of my story about my beautiful feet.”

“There was a point?” Blitz sounded genuinely surprised.

“Of course!” Njord said. “The most unexpected thing can be the key to victory. Balder was the most handsome of the gods, but because of my feet, I won the girl.”

“Whom you later separated from and divorced,” Blitz said.

“Would you stop dwelling on that?” Njord rolled his eyes at me like Dwarves these days. “My point, dear grandson, is that you will need to use unexpected means to defeat Loki. You began to realize that in Aegir’s hall, didn’t you?”

I didn’t remember biting off any clumps of sea giantess hair, but a ball of the stuff seemed to be forming in my throat.

“A flyting,” I said. “I’ll have to beat Loki in a contest…of insults?”

New gray whiskers spread like frost through Njord’s beard. “A flyting is much more than a series of simple put-downs,” he warned. “It’s a duel of prestige, power, confidence. I was present at Aegir’s hall when Loki flyted with the gods. He shamed us so badly….” Njord seemed to deflate, as if just thinking about it made him older and weaker. “Words can be more lethal than blades, Magnus. And Loki is a master of words. To beat him, you must find your inner poet. Only one thing can give you a chance to beat Loki at his own game.”

“Mead,” I guessed. “Kvasir’s Mead.”

The answer didn’t sit right with me. I’d been on the streets long enough to see how well “mead” improved people’s skills. Pick your poison: beer, wine, vodka, whiskey. Folks claimed they needed it to get through the day. They called it liquid courage. It made them funnier, smarter, more creative. Except it didn’t. It just made them less able to tell how unfunny and stupid they were acting.

“It’s not merely mead,” my grandfather said, reading my expression. “Kvasir’s Mead is the most valuable elixir ever created. Finding it will not be easy.” He turned to Hearthstone and Blitzen. “You know this, don’t you? You know that the quest may claim both your lives.”





“YOU SHOULD have led with that,” I said, my pulse jackhammering in my neck. “Hearth and Blitz do not die. That’s a deal-breaker.”

Njord’s toothy smile was as white as Scandinavian snow. I wished I knew his secret for staying so calm. Zen meditation? Fishing? Hotel Valhalla yoga classes?

“Ah, Magnus, you are so much like your father.”

I blinked. “We’re both blond and like the outdoors?”