Her words hung in the air. Flora stood, turned to stone by her sister’s venom and the truth of her words.
‘I see.’ Aurelia nodded, the first flicker of tears visible in her eyes. ‘Well, I do not thank you for it. For you have bound me to a life of misery, married to a man I love, who cannot ever love me. And now I am having his child and there is no escape for either of us. Flora, what have you done to me? And what did I ever do to you to deserve this cruelty?’ Aurelia shook her head desolately. ‘I would rather I were dead.’
Her voice broke as she began to cry. When Flora moved to comfort her, Aurelia swiped at her aggressively.
‘Please, Aurelia, I say again that I meant for none of this to happen. I would do anything rather than see you hurt. I will . . . go away, even though there is nothing between Archie and me . . .’
‘My husband was holding your hand in the garden this very afternoon!’ she hissed through her tears. ‘Don’t you dare continue to tell me lies! You treat me like a little girl when I am a married woman about to have a child of my own! And do you know the worst thing? It’s not the relationship you have had with my husband – whatever it consists of – it’s the fact that I have always trusted you more than any other person on this earth! I believed you loved me, that you had my best interests at heart. I’ve looked up to you since the day I was born. I have not only lost a husband – if I ever had him in the first place – but also my beloved sister.’
‘Please, Aurelia, think of your condition,’ Flora begged, seeing that she was becoming hysterical.
‘Were you thinking of my “condition” when you held my husband’s hand in the garden today?’
‘He took my hand, I could not stop him—’
‘Don’t blame him! I watched you stand there for far longer than you needed to, looking into his eyes like a lovesick girl.’
Flora turned and walked towards the stool by the dressing table, feeling she would collapse if she didn’t sit down. For a long time, a silence divided the two sisters.
‘Not for the life of me did I ever mean to hurt you, Aurelia. I take full responsibility for my disgraceful behaviour and I will never forgive myself for it.’
‘And nor should you! The question is, what on earth do I do now?’
‘I can understand your hurt and pain, but I swear to you that Archie cares for you deeply.’
‘But his true passion is for you. Perhaps we should share him, just as your patron shares the King with his long-suffering queen! Perhaps you could be his mistress, while I simply give birth to his babies, would that suit you?’
Flora stood up, her whole body trembling. ‘I will leave tomorrow morning. Even though you cannot believe me, I know that you and Archie can have a happy and successful marriage. I will tell him—’
‘You will do no such thing! At the very least, you will grant me the promise that you will never again speak to my husband or contact him in any way. If we are to have any chance of a future together, he must not know of this conversation. I will say you have been called away to London.’
‘You will not attend my wedding?’
‘No. I will say that my pregnancy has rendered me indisposed. And take scant comfort from the fact that you will almost certainly be as miserable as I, in a marriage to a man you cannot love, and who is frankly unlovable.’
‘Are you saying you wish never to set eyes on me again?’
‘Never. You are no longer my sister,’ Aurelia answered tightly.
There was another silence as Flora stood up. ‘Is there nothing I can say or do to make penance?’
‘No. Now, please leave. Goodbye, Flora.’
‘I will think of you every day for the rest of my life, and never forgive myself for how I have hurt you. Goodbye, darling Aurelia.’
Flora, her eyes welling with tears she felt too guilty to shed, took one last glance at her sister to store it in her memory forever, and left the room.
30
‘Goodness! I didn’t expect you back so soon, Miss Flora,’ commented Nannie as Flora entered the day nursery at Portman Square.
‘I have fittings to attend for my dress and my trousseau,’ she lied in reply.
‘I reckon you’re missing the bright lights of London, aren’t you? And there was you always waxing lyrical about the countryside. A right city girl you’ve become,’ Nannie laughed.
‘Are Mrs Keppel and the girls here?’
‘No, they haven’t returned from France yet. They’re due back next week.’ She paused and scrutinised Flora’s demeanour. ‘Are you all right, miss? You look a bit out of sorts.’
‘Yes, I am quite well, thank you,’ she said, and left the nursery feeling she would never be ‘all right’ again.
In the next few days, Flora was relieved that the house was quiet so she could endure her wretchedness alone. She took herself off for long walks in the fast burgeoning parks of London, hoping that nature would comfort her. But all it did was remind her of Archie, and then, by immediate default, of Aurelia. As she walked determinedly, desperate to exhaust herself so she might fall into a mind-numbing sleep, the pain of losing the person she loved most in the world tore into her. She could not rest, neither could she eat. Her guilt knew no bounds, and as she prepared herself for a wedding to a man who repulsed her, Flora saw a life sentence of misery as a just punishment.
Almost three weeks before the wedding, Mrs Keppel and the girls returned from France.
‘My dear, you have grown so thin!’ Mrs Keppel exclaimed as they took tea together in the parlour. ‘It must be the stress of your forthcoming marriage. I remember losing two inches off my waistline before I married George.’
‘How is the King?’ Flora changed the subject.
‘He is much recovered since you saw him, but under the most dreadful pressure from his government, who are determined to embroil him – no, to blackmail him – into agreeing to constitutional changes he does not agree with. I am glad he has been abroad and at least distanced from it all. There is no doubt the pressure has affected his health, let alone his state of mind. He is not strong, as you saw in Biarritz. I feel desperately sorry for him, poor thing. He is a far better king – and man – than he has been given credit for.’
Flora walked from the parlour later, thinking that Mrs Keppel did not look herself either. And wondered what secrets she held.
In the next two weeks, as the dreaded day grew closer, Flora was thankful to be kept busy. She had attended the last fitting at Worth, along with the seven bridesmaids, having explained to Daphne that Aurelia felt unable to attend on her, due to her pregnant state. Violet had overheard this conversation and sought her out at home later.
‘Flora, I am so sorry to hear that votre s?ur is unable to be your maid of honour.’
Violet’s new habit of peppering her speech with snippets of French irritated the entire household and Flora gave a wry smile.