‘Well, I like the simple things. I love cooking, and gardening, and keeping a nice home . . . and I loved taking care of Rory. It made me happy.’
‘Then that’s what you must aim for, Star. Of course, you’d need one further ingredient to make the magic happen.’
‘What is that?’
‘Don’t you know what it is?’
I looked at her and I did. ‘Yes, it’s love.’
‘Exactly. Which, as you know, can come in many different shapes and forms; it doesn’t have to be the traditional man/woman scenario. Look at me: I have a pretty continuous stream of lovers of both sexes.’
I blushed, despite myself. Shanthi studied my reaction with a smile on her lips.
‘Do you find talking about sex uncomfortable, Star?’
‘I . . . no . . . I mean . . .’
‘Then you won’t mind me asking – because I’ve been dying to since I met you – whether you prefer men or women? Or, like me, both?’
I stared at her, horrified, wishing that the squashy sofa cushions could swallow me up, or that some natural disaster would occur now so I wouldn’t have to face these questions.
‘I’m straight,’ I mumbled eventually. ‘That is, I like men.’
‘Really?’ Shanthi nodded sagely. ‘Then I was wrong. Don’t worry, I shall cross you off my list of possible conquests.’ She laughed gently.
‘Yes,’ I muttered, knowing my face was bright red. ‘More tea?’ Whether she wanted it or not, I was going to put the kettle on. Anything to get away from her interrogative gaze.
‘You’re so beautiful, Star, yet you seem totally unaware of it. The physical self isn’t shameful, you know. It’s a gift from the gods, and it’s free. You’re young and lovely. You should enjoy the pleasure your body can bring you.’
I stood in the kitchen, unable to return to the sofa and have those eyes upon me. For I simply could not continue this conversation. I asked then – no, begged – for divine intervention in whatever shape or form. And to my astonishment, a few seconds later, it came with the sound of the buzzer.
Not caring if the person standing outside the door was an axe murderer or, more likely, CeCe, who would often ring to save her having to root through her bag for the key card, I picked up the receiver.
‘Hello?’
‘Star? It’s me, Mouse. I was just passing, and thought that rather than posting your cheque, I’d hand it to you in person.’
‘Oh.’
‘Perhaps you can come downstairs and collect it. There doesn’t seem to be a post box outside.’
He was right, the developers had forgotten to install one, and the doorman was always conspicuously absent whenever I walked into the lobby. After an agony of indecision, my fear of further chat with Shanthi eventually won.
‘Come up,’ I said. ‘It’s the third floor, the door directly opposite the lift.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Sorry,’ I said as I wandered over to the sofas and hovered uncomfortably. ‘A friend decided to pop in.’
‘I must be going anyway,’ she said, standing up.
I walked her to the door, unable to hide my relief at her swift exit.
‘It was lovely to see you, Star. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.’
‘It’s fine.’ I could hear the whirr of the ascending lift, and realised I’d have to introduce them to each other.
‘Well, goodbye, my little Star.’ Shanthi put her arms around me and clasped me to her generous chest. Which was how Mouse found us as the lift doors opened.
‘Sorry,’ he said, as Shanthi released me. ‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’
‘Not at all,’ Shanthi said with a pleasant smile, ‘I’m just on my way out. Star is all yours.’ She walked past us both and stepped into the lift. ‘What’s your name by the way?’ she asked him as she pressed the button to take her down.
‘Mouse.’
‘Ha! Told you, Star.’ Shanthi gave a thumbs up from behind his back before the doors closed, and I heard her throaty laugh echoing through the building as the lift descended.
‘What was the joke?’ he enquired as I led him into the apartment. ‘I didn’t get it.’
‘Don’t worry, nor did I,’ I said with feeling.
‘She looked like an interesting character. Friend of yours?’
‘Yes. Can I offer you a cup of tea or coffee?’
‘You don’t have a beer, do you?’
‘I do, yes.’
‘This place is amazing,’ Mouse commented, as he strode to the windows where the lights of London were twinkling in the deepening dusk beneath us. ‘Now I know for certain that you’re not a gold-digger who’s after High Weald. Who needs that mouldering heap when you have this.’
‘It’s my sister that owns it,’ I explained for the second time that day.
‘Well,’ he said as I handed him the beer, ‘here’s to rich relatives. Wish I had some lying about,’ he added as he took a slug and I led him to sit down on the sofa. He eyed the malt cake hungrily. ‘May I? I haven’t eaten all day.’
‘Of course.’ I cut him a slice and smothered it in butter.
‘This is absolutely delicious, as is everything you cook. You have a real gift.’
‘Thank you,’ I mumbled, wondering meanly where this charm offensive was leading, and what it was he wanted. Because nobody just ‘passed’ our front door. In fact, one needed a map and compass to find the entrance.
‘Before I forget, here you go.’ He pulled an envelope from the pocket of his Barbour. ‘I hope you think that’s enough. I also added two weeks’ wages for the bookshop to it.’
‘You didn’t need to, really,’ I said, fully aware of his current financial plight. ‘How’s Orlando?’
‘Belligerent and non-communicative . . . which is the reason I came up to London. I hadn’t heard from him since I called him about you. Obviously I was concerned. The shop was locked when I arrived this afternoon. But luckily I have another set of keys. He’s still holed up in that bedroom of his and wouldn’t let me in there. The only way I could get him to speak to me was by threatening to call the police and break the door down to see if he was still alive.’
‘Nothing’s changed then.’
‘No. I also went to see a commercial property agent to start the process of putting the building on the market. Hopefully, if the bank sees we’re making moves to sell, and they’ll be repaid what we owe, they’ll hold off grabbing it themselves for the time being.’
‘Did you tell Orlando that?’
‘God, no, I thought he might throw himself out of his attic window if I did. It’s such a shame he won’t have you back. He’s just sitting there, brooding all day and night. Well, he’ll get over it eventually. We all have to from losing things we love.’
‘But it can take some time. Can’t it?’ I said, wondering if the remark would hit home. ‘After all, it’s only been a few days.’
‘Point taken,’ Mouse responded, and, from the expression on his face, I could see he was deciding whether to take offence or not. Frankly, I didn’t care if he did.
‘You’re right,’ he said after a long pause. ‘Now listen, Star, there’s another reason I’ve come to see you, and it’s got nothing to do with me or my family. It’s about you.’