‘I . . . do not know.’
‘Love is so very confusing, is it not? And you, like me, prefer to keep your own counsel. My darling Bertie always tells me that knowledge is power and that however tempting it is to give away that power to another in return for comfort, it is unwise to do so. And both of us have chosen not to do so.’
‘Yes.’ Flora was amazed at her insight.
‘So, Flora, you have been privy to my secret. Everyone in London believes to understand the relationship between myself and the King, and criticises it. But their malicious gossip and their wish to discredit me blinds them to the simple fact that I love him. An outsider might claim that my relationship with him is just a sham to further my own ambition, just as they might say that your rejection of Lord Vaughan’s attentions was cruel. But I know your true motivation stems from love for your dear sister.’
‘Mrs Keppel, what are you saying? I . . . no one has the least idea of any relationship between myself and Lord Vaughan . . .’
‘I am aware of that, and I doubt there is anyone in London who has guessed the situation, other than myself. I saw your faces after you met here a few days ago. And the . . . predicament was written all over both of them. Your secret is safe with me. Please, Flora, trust me and let it out before you drive yourself mad.’
Eventually, Flora did so. And as Mrs Keppel poured her a glass of sherry and offered her a clean lace handkerchief, and she spoke of all that had happened between them, there was no doubt she felt lighter.
‘You will not be the first or the last to send the man you love into the arms of another because you feel it is what should be done,’ Mrs Keppel said. ‘I once had a very similar situation before I was married to dear George, or met Bertie. You have acted correctly for the noblest of reasons, and now you must move on.’
‘I know. And that is the hard part.’
‘Well, the best way to do that is to keep yourself distracted, and I am more than happy to provide you with the opportunity.’ Mrs Keppel smiled. ‘There are a number of dances coming up, and I can assure you that before you attend your sister’s wedding, we will have garnered you at least two proposals.’
‘Thank you, but I am not interested in any suitors at present.’
‘That is because you have not met them yet.’ Mrs Keppel’s eyes gleamed. ‘We shall begin with a dance at Devonshire House, and then there is a rather grand ball out at Blenheim, which is such a trek, but I feel we should make it and—’
‘Mrs Keppel?’
‘Yes, my dear?’
‘Why are you doing all this for me?’
She glanced away into the fire, then looked back at Flora. ‘Because I feel you’re the child we never had.’
Star
October 2007
Ceanothus (California lilac – Rhamnaceae family)
20
I felt a hand patting me repeatedly on the shoulder and I brought myself back to the present. I looked up to see the closing credits of Superman on the screen, and Rory standing by me.
‘Superman II now?’
I looked down at my watch and saw it was past five thirty in the afternoon. ‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘I think that’s enough for one day. Want to see the pheasant?’ I asked Rory to distract him.
He nodded eagerly and I roused myself from the chair and the past, knowing that this wasn’t the moment to start analysing what I’d read, and whether it had any bearing on my own existence. In the kitchen, Orlando was sorting through the delivery from the farm shop.
‘Major brownie points for your thorough plucking of the pheasant,’ he said. ‘You’ll be relieved to know that I’ve just retrieved the shot that ended its life, so we’ll have no broken teeth tomorrow.’ He held up a small saucer, in the centre of which were three pieces of lead shot.
Rory immediately picked up a piece and studied it. ‘Poor bird.’
‘Ah, yes, but lucky us tomorrow. Miss Star, this is for tonight’s feast.’
I saw a gorgeous blood-red steak fillet lying on the marble slab in front of him.
‘I know no one else who can do justice to its perfection. If you don’t mind, I prefer to eat at eight sharp in the evening. It gives a good three hours to digest the food before one sleeps,’ said Orlando, glancing at the clock.
‘Then I’d better get on.’
‘While you’re doing that, I shall take this little chap off for a game of chess. Loser does the washing-up after supper.’
‘But you always win, Uncle Lando,’ Rory complained as they trooped out of the kitchen.
I prepared the meat and the vegetables then sat down, inhaling the scent of cooking and enjoying the wonderful warmth of the kitchen. Mulling over what I’d read, I realised that the figurine Pa had given me must be Flora’s adored cat, rather than an actual panther as I’d presumed. And then I thought about Flora, who Pa Salt had indicated was something to me. There were definitely similarities between us – namely our shared interest in botany and our love for nature. But then, millions of people also enjoyed these pursuits, and from what I’d read, it was far more likely to be Aurelia who I was connected to. After all, it seemed that she was the one who would marry into the Vaughan family.
The worst thing was, I wanted so badly to find a link, something that would bond me inextricably to High Weald, and allow me to be a part of this extraordinary family, two members of which in particular I was growing fonder of by the day.
Once we had eaten the fillet, and Orlando pronounced it ‘heroic’, I took Rory upstairs for a bath, unsure of the rules for such things. I let him take the lead, as he unhooked his hearing aids and placed them carefully on a shelf.
‘Shall I leave?’ I asked as he stepped into the full bubble-city I had run for him. But he shook his head.
‘Talk to me. Tell me a story about your family, Star.’
So I sat on the old-fashioned wooden toilet cover and, relying heavily on mime and facial expressions when my signing fell short, gave Rory the most potted version of my childhood at Atlantis I could manage, throwing in a few stories of me and CeCe getting into trouble.
‘Naughty sisters!’ Rory giggled, as he stepped out of the bath and into the towel I held out to him. His green eyes grew serious then. ‘I want a sister or brother too. Sounds fun.’
I helped him put on his pyjamas and handed him his hearing aids. He fitted them snugly back onto each ear, then wrapped his arms around my shoulders and gave me a kiss on my cheek. ‘Will you be my sister, Star?’
‘Course I will,’ I said as we walked along the corridor to his bedroom.
A few minutes later, Orlando appeared in the doorway, hovering uncertainly. ‘Ablutions completed?’
‘Yes. Goodnight, angel,’ I said, giving Rory a kiss.
‘Goodnight, Star.’