‘And although I will await it eagerly, you must take as much time as you need.’
They walked to the front door and Flora opened it. ‘Goodbye, Archie.’
‘I just want to reiterate before I leave that I would accept your presence at High Weald on any terms you wished to stipulate. And I would not presume to think there would be any . . . relationship between us. Although I wish to tell you that my love for you burns on. However guilty that makes me feel, I cannot help it. It is simply a part of me. But the most important person in this whole sorry mess is my motherless child. Now, I will do as you ask and leave you alone. Goodbye.’
As Archie walked down the path, for the first time, Flora noticed he had a pronounced limp.
Over the following two days, she read and reread her sister’s letter. She took Teddy walking up on the fells, asking the blades of grass that tickled her nose as they lay in the shade of a tree, the larks that soared overhead, and the heavens themselves for advice and guidance.
They remained as silent on the question as her own soul. Eventually, her tired mind desperate for a resolution, she strapped Teddy into his sling and walked down the lane to visit her best friend and advisor.
‘Well, well,’ Beatrix said, as they sat together in her garden, drinking tea. She had listened without interruption as Flora had poured out the newest chapter of her life. ‘I must say, you do seem to have an innate capacity for attracting drama. But then, your background was extraordinary from the start. Firstly, I must give you my condolences on the loss of your poor sister. So young, and, given the letter you read me, so generous. And clever, might I add.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Surely you can see that her parting gift to the husband and the sister she loved was to find a way of reuniting the two of you? From what you have told me in the past, she has always been fully aware of the mutual feeling between you. And at the same time, it would enable her to give her beloved daughter a proper mother, rather than growing up with an elderly nurse. Can’t you see that she wanted to grant all three of you the happiness she felt you deserved?’
‘Yes. But even if I did decide to go, what would people think?’
‘As if you or I have ever cared about that!’ Beatrix laughed. ‘And what could be more natural than the dead mother’s spinster sister arriving to take care of her niece? I guarantee you that not an eyebrow will be raised.’
‘And what if . . . ?’
‘Archie and you were to resume your relationship?’ Beatrix finished for her. ‘Again, I think that after a sufficient passage of time, everyone would be glad for the motherless child and the poor widower, so soon back from the war as a hero and enduring another tragic loss.’
‘And Archie himself? I wonder how he can even bear to look at me without guilt clouding his vision.’
‘Flora, one thing I have learnt in my many years on this earth is that one must move forward and not look back. And I will guarantee you that your Lord Vaughan saw enough death and destruction in the war to convince him of this. As your sister said in her letter, we can’t choose who we love. He does not just have his wife’s blessing on such a future; she has positively encouraged it. There are no secrets left, nothing to feel guilty for. And being the pragmatist that you know I am, sadly, the dead are gone, and it’s pointless taking what may well be a wrong decision out of guilt.’
‘So, you think that we should go to High Weald?’
‘Flora, dear, it is perfectly obvious that you should. A human being without love is akin to a rosebud without water. It will survive for a time, but never open into full bloom. And you cannot deny that you love him.’
‘No, I cannot. I do.’ Flora voiced the words for the first time.
‘And you say he still loves you too. I think this is in so many ways serendipitous. Louise needs a mother and Teddy a father. The only sadness is that I would lose you as a neighbour.’
‘I would miss you dreadfully, Beatrix. And my animals and beloved Lakes.’
‘Well, there are always sacrifices to be made somewhere along the line. I would be happy to buy Wynbrigg Farm from you if you wished to sell it. My portfolio of land increases apace. I have just recently made my will, and once I am gone, the land will go to the National Trust to be given back to the people of the Lakes and preserved forever in perpetuity. But back to your conundrum. I can say no more to help you, other than do not dwell too long on your decision. It is so very easy to talk oneself out of changing one’s circumstances for the better. Especially when it frightens you. Remember that every day that passes is another day lost to your future. Now, I’m afraid I must get on. I have a new delivery of letters from my young readers in America on the subject of dear little Johnny Town-Mouse. I do so like to reply in person to each and every one of the children.’
‘Of course.’ Flora stood up and went to collect Teddy, who was lying under a tree, cooing at the birds singing above him. ‘Thank you for everything, Beatrix. I don’t know where I’d be without you.’ She felt a lump in her throat as she contemplated life without her friend close by.
And in that moment, she knew she had made her decision.
36
Flora had not travelled to the south of England since the death of the King, her father. Stepping into the entrance hall of High Weald, she was assailed by a wave of memories, and also shock as she took in the state of the house and grounds, elevated for so long in her memory. As Archie showed her around the once magical gardens, careful to keep a respectful distance between them as he limped beside her, she noted the wilderness that had erupted since she’d last been here.
‘As you know, the Vaughan family has always had difficulty with their finances,’ Archie said grimly. ‘It was hard for Aurelia to keep the estate going while I was away and the young men of the village were fighting in France. Especially as my mother died only a few months after war broke out.’
Upstairs in the nursery, Sarah welcomed her with joy and copious tears.
‘So tragic,’ she sniffed as she led Flora over to the cradle to introduce her to her niece. ‘After all this time, Aurelia has the baby she’s always craved, but she’s not here to see her. Beautiful she is too, with a gentle nature just like her mother.’
Flora lifted Louise into her arms and felt an immediate wave of protective love wash over her.
‘Hello, little one,’ she cooed, as the baby lay placidly in her arms. At that moment, Teddy, perhaps sensing that Flora’s attention was elsewhere, began to scream from his travel basket. Sarah swept him up into her arms.