His refusal to kill Lorelai.
She lay on the other side of the tent. Gabril’s tall form stretched out on a bedroll between them. A tiny sliver of moonlight crept in through the tent flap and lingered against her face. Kol sat up, wrapped his hands around his knees, and studied her the way he couldn’t when she was awake and aware of his thoughts.
In the days it had taken them to move from the ruined bridge to the intersection of the major roads that bisected Ravenspire, Kol had become as intimately familiar with Lorelai’s thoughts as he was with his own.
He was fascinated by the way her mind worked—constantly observing and analyzing every detail around her, making plans for handling danger in less time than it took most people to realize they needed a plan in the first place. He’d had classes on battle strategy, he’d had drills on instantly responding to dangerous situations, but he relied on what he knew—on solutions that were already proven. Lorelai looked for new information, new options, and instantly utilized them.
And the way she threw herself into danger because she had a plan—and sky forbid she back away from the goal she was trying to achieve—made something fierce and tender swell inside Kol’s chest. Every time he turned around, she was assessing risk, not to avoid it but to take the lion’s share of it herself.
She made him want to be a better warrior. A better king.
He stared at the way her skin glowed in the moonlight and admitted that, skies help him, he was drawn to her in ways he couldn’t think about while she was awake and inside his head. There was nothing casual or ordinary about Lorelai, and there was nothing casual or ordinary about the way she made him feel. She was iron and fire, a warrior’s spirit with a lion’s heart. His parents would’ve loved her.
The thought of his parents hurt, and the four walls of the tent felt like they were shrinking around him. He needed wide, cool spaces and the endless starry sky. Careful not to jostle Gabril—last time he’d done that, he’d nearly lost an eye; skies only knew how that man slept with a sword in his hand without cutting off something he’d rather keep—Kol eased his way off his borrowed blanket and out of the tent.
They were camped in a small copse of ebony trees just north of the intersection that brought the main roads of Ravenspire together. Kol climbed the closest tree, swinging himself up the widely spaced branches with ease, until he reached the upper cradle. Settling in with his back against the trunk, he stared up at the sky and thought of Eldr, safe now because of Lorelai. Brig waiting for him to return. Trugg and Jyn, who were skies knew where after being thrown out of Irina’s castle.
The collar whispered, and pain throbbed in his chest. Something dark and vicious crouched in the corner of his mind, but he focused on the stars, on holding fast to the person he wanted to be, until the pain lessened and the whispers were nothing but background noise.
You’re getting better at that.
He looked down to see Lorelai standing at the base of the tree, her thick sweater wrapped around her to ward off the chill. Why are you up?
She looked toward the intersection, which was currently hidden from view by the gently twisting limbs of the ebony trees. A myriad of responses ran through her mind—anxious, ready to get started, scared that you’d left us, wishing Leo were here—but all she said was, I couldn’t sleep. And I figured it was best to destroy the intersection and the roads that lead to it during the night when the chance of hurting an innocent traveler is small.
Why didn’t you wake Gabril, then? We’ll need to flee as soon as you do the magic or risk another nightmare like those statues coming to life when Irina retaliates.
I . . . wanted to check on you first. There was more behind her words—warmth and shyness and something deeper that Kol didn’t know how to identify without pushing for things she was trying not to share with him.
I’m glad you did. He climbed down the tree and gestured toward a patch of grass that lay gleaming in the starlight between two trees. She followed him, and they sat side by side. Her thoughts raced, a rapid counterpoint to the slow, steady ache of missing Eldr that filled his.
You’ll be able to go home soon. She clasped her hands in her lap and looked up at the sky. I bet your sister really misses you. Leo’s face flashed across her mind.