It was . . . there were a lot of girls at my school.
She rolled her eyes. Well, keep your lips to yourself. I have more important things to do.
He had more important things to do too. He had a kingdom to save, his heart to retrieve (if Irina had told him the truth about keeping it safe), and a sister who needed her brother to come home.
Grief, raw at the edges and weary in the center, filled him and flooded his thoughts before he could stop it. He was walking down the long hall that led to the throne room again, only this time he knew what waited for him. He was standing in the icy waters of Lake Skyllivreng, but the words he wanted to say to his family were too small to hold what they meant to him. He was kneeling on the platform above the throne room while the head of the royal council placed his father’s crown on his head and gave him the full responsibility for ruling a nation on its deathbed. And he was being crushed by the weight of it all. He was making decisions out of desperation, sacrificing what was left of himself so that he could do this one thing right. So that he could save Eldr.
Did the cost of Eldr’s salvation have to leave so much wreckage behind?
Her breath caught, and he looked up to find tears in her eyes and an image of her brother—the boy with the irrepressible smile and the reckless light in his eyes—lying quiet as a statue in the meadow outside Nordenberg.
Part of the wreckage.
Leo isn’t part of your wreckage. He’s part of Irina’s. Her own grief, just as raw as his, struck him hard, and he closed his eyes. Having something that was his alone pulled out of the darkest recesses of his mind and given to her without his permission was infinitely worse than having her see that he’d thought of kissing her. He was absolutely certain she felt the same about the grief that belonged only to her.
I can learn how to block you. She wasn’t looking at him when he opened his eyes. That’s why you can’t hear Irina’s thoughts even though her magic has been inside you. She’s touched so many people with her magic that she wouldn’t have a secret thought left if she didn’t block others. Gabril knows how to do it, and he can teach me. We don’t have to be forced into sharing everything like this.
Before he could filter it, he thought of himself, cut off from everyone, trapped with only his dragon heart, a collar whose power was barely held in restraint by Lorelai’s, and the inability to share his thoughts with anyone at all if Lorelai blocked her mind from his.
She pressed her lips together, and drew in a deep breath, but he already knew what she was going to say before she said it. The truth was in the way her thoughts softened toward him. The compassion that unfurled in the midst of her weariness and grief.
He couldn’t ask it of her.
Yes. Block me. He forced himself to focus on the words. To be resolute and to bury every shred of longing for his final piece of connection with another person. That’s what I want.
You’re a terrible liar.
He laughed, though it wasn’t funny. He’d gone his entire life fooling everyone around him—with the possible exception of Brig—into thinking he was nothing but a charming daredevil who couldn’t take anything seriously, because it had been easier to take his father’s disappointment when Kol could tell himself he’d courted it on purpose. But there was no hiding from Lorelai. She’d already seen the worst he had to offer, and the longer they stayed connected, the more parts of himself he accidentally put on display.
You aren’t the only one who is uncomfortably vulnerable here. She sat up and braided her long hair with swift fingers. You can see me just as much as I can see you. If this is going to work—
It doesn’t have to work. Block me.
She rolled her eyes. If this is going to work, we need some ground rules.
Or you could just block me.
She stabbed a finger in his direction. Stop arguing with me. I’m not leaving you trapped inside yourself with no one to talk to.
His thoughts warmed toward this girl who kept surprising him at every turn with the size of her heart and the strength of her spirit.
You keep rescuing me.
Don’t let it go to your head. She gave him a crooked smile. I’m sure one of these days you’ll have the chance to rescue me instead.
I hope not. He got to his feet and offered her his hand. I hope you stay completely out of danger.
She took his hand, her palm sparking against his with the tingle of her magic, and rose to face him. Her dark eyes were steady.
Ground rules. No poking into each other’s thoughts on purpose. No digging deeper into things we accidentally show each other. And no dumb thoughts about kissing when we have so many other things to worry about. All right?