I shake my head. “I don’t know. So it would seem real? So I could understand why my parents acted so weird when I started asking them questions about it.”
“You almost died, Liv. You don’t think they’re gonna be a little freaked out about the details of that?”
“No, I get that. They just acted strange when I asked about Walker being the one who pulled me out.”
Paige sits back and waves a dismissive hand. “Oh. That’s probably because of the whole thing that happened with your mom.”
“What thing with my mom?” I ask slowly.
Paige takes a sip of her sparkling water. “When we were freshmen. He was in her class, and he was out a lot, and then when he’d come back, he’d look like he’d gotten beat up. She asked us about it, and we told her what we’d heard—that it was his dad. So the next time he missed a bunch of school and came back with a broken arm, she called and reported it, and it turned into this whole big thing.”
“How? What do you mean?”
“Just . . . his mom came to the school all angry and yelled at your mom in the parking lot, saying how she ruined her life, and calling her all kinds of names. Your dad ended up having to come down and arrest her, and they filed a restraining order against his mom and all that. You know. Super-classy, small town drama.”
I realize that this was years ago for Paige, probably a blip on her radar, but she’s so casual about it. I try to be too. Try not to be entirely freaked out. No wonder my parents acted the way they did when I brought up Walker.
“What happened to Walker?” I ask, anxious that there may be more.
Paige shrugs. “I don’t know. He was gone after that. At first he went to live with relatives or something, but then I think he ended up in a group home until he got emancipated.”
“So my family broke up his family?”
Paige shakes her head. “No.”
“It seems like it,” I say, remembering his yearbook picture.
“They didn’t. His parents were a mess. I’m pretty sure they both ended up in jail, which is probably why your parents acted like that about him—even after what he did. He’s the kind of guy it’s just better to keep your distance from, you know?”
I nod. “Yeah. I get it,” I say. But I don’t. Not really. It seems sad and unfair. I’m about to say this to Paige, but there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I say, and my mom does.
“Oh, Paige—hi, honey! I’m so glad you’re here.” She looks at me and smiles. “I guess we survived me being away for a few hours, didn’t we? Everything okay?”
“Yes we did, and yes it is.”
“Good. Well, I’m back now. You girls let me know if you need anything.” She looks at Paige. “Will you be staying for dinner?”
Paige looks at me.
“Yes,” I say. “We still have lots of catching up to do.”
This seems to make them both happy.
“You girls good with pizza? I can have Dad grab a couple on his way home from work.”
“I’m GREAT with pizza,” Sam’s voice says from the hall. He appears in the doorway. “Just as long as it’s from First Class. With light sauce. And extra cheese.”
My mom rolls her eyes. Sam has always been particular about where he eats, and I guess some things never change.
“I’ll put your request in with your dad,” my mom says. And then she goes.
Paige laughs, and Sam comes into my room in his Fuel Dock uniform, which consists of a baseball hat and T-shirt with the logo printed on them, and a pair of shorts.
“What’s up, girls? How goes the trip down memory lane?”
He plops himself onto the bed next to Paige, props his chin in his hands, and bats his eyelashes.
“You’re such a dork,” I say.
Paige gives him a playful shove. “Go away. You weren’t invited. And you smell like grease.”
“I prefer to call it eau de French fry,” he says, smelling his shirt. He grins at me. “Did she tell you how you totally embarrassed yourself at prom?”
Paige shakes her head. I give him a look, almost positive he’s messing with me.
Sam remains both undeterred and completely entertained by himself. “Or what about the time you accidentally mooned everyone at the rally?”
“What?”
“Stop it,” Paige says to him. “Now he’s just making things up.”
Sam raises his eyebrows at me. “Ooh. Did she get to the part where she got buzzed and totally tried to make out with me last summer before I left for school? ’Cause that was unexpectedly awesome.”
“Sam!” Paige shoves him so hard he rolls onto the floor. “Shut up.” She looks at me, hands pleading innocence in the air. “That’s not how—that did NOT happen, I promise.”
Sam gets up, smile still on his face, and shrugs. “Okaaay . . . everybody’s got their own version of the truth, I guess.”
“And his is wrong,” Paige says flatly.
Normally, I’d believe her without question, because the idea of the two of them is weird and gross, and I can’t imagine a world where Paige would try to kiss my brother. But there’s a half second where her eyes flick to him, and there’s something there that makes me wonder.
“You guys kissed?”
They go silent, but their expressions say it all.
“Ugh. I don’t . . . I don’t even wanna know,” I say.
Sam looks at Paige. “Oh, I think you do.”
She looks at me apologetically. “We were both a little drunk. It was just a kiss.” She glances at Sam. “Then I came to my senses.”
I’m sure there’s more to the story, and maybe even more between them, but I don’t want to go any further down that road—at least not now—so I bring up the other thing she said that caught my attention.
“You’ve been drunk?” I say, like it’s something she could get in big trouble for.
Paige and Sam look at each other now, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Have I? Do Mom and Dad know?”
Now they lose it. The idea of it is honestly a little scary to me, and it must show on my face, because Paige comes over to where I’m sitting and puts her arm around my shoulder. “Once or twice. And you were cute. Just got a little silly, is all. And no, I don’t think Officer Jordan knows.”
I try to add this to my mental picture of myself, which is becoming more and more paradoxical. I’ve been drunk, but I’ve never had a sip of alcohol. I have birth control pills in my nightstand, but I’ve never . . .
“Wow,” Sam says, catching his breath. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he takes it out and checks it, then looks at Paige, suddenly serious. “You fill her in on Matt yet? Poor guy keeps texting.” He looks at me now. “He’s worried. He wants to see you, Liv.”
“We were getting to that,” Paige says softly. “I’ve been talking to him a lot, and he’s so worried that this means—that he’s lost you—and I keep trying to tell him it’ll be okay. And it will. Because you guys are so great together, and I think if you spent some time with him, you’d see why. Even if you don’t remember him, you’re still you. And I bet you’d fall for him all over again. Like a second chance.”
“A do-over!” Sam says. “That’s what I said!”
“Sort of. It could be all sweet and romantic. You could have all your firsts all over again. First date, first kiss, first—”