I can have everything.
As they were walking back to the town house, Mason stole a quick look at his new cell phone. He’d thrown the old one away, but, of course, it could never be that easy to break the connection. He had a replacement the next day and now it was right here in his pocket to remind him. I can think anything I want, he realized, but it all gets obliterated with the simple sound of this phone ringing.
It could be five weeks. It could be five days. Hell, it could be five minutes.
This is the dreamworld, he thought. This seemingly normal life, walking down this sidewalk with this woman at my side. When the phone rings, I’ll open my eyes and see my real life again.
I’ll go right back to that waking nightmare.
He put the phone away, but Lauren caught the look on his face. Neither of them said a word about it, but it hung in the air between them for the rest of the day.
They had dinner together that night and made love again in his bed. They watched a movie on the big television, wrapped up on the couch, pretending to be a normal couple on a normal night.
The phone sat on the table, just a few feet away. It stayed silent. But they both knew it was there.
? ? ?
After midnight, Mason woke up and felt for her beside him. She was gone.
He got up and went outside and found her sitting by the pool. She was wrapped up in his robe, curled up in a chair, looking up at the night sky. She took his hand and stood up. He kissed her, then sat in the chair and pulled her down to him. He held on to her, the warmth of her body holding off the chill of the night air.
He looked up at the same stars until she finally spoke.
“What’s going to happen next?” she said.
He didn’t answer. He knew he’d have to tell her someday. Everything he’d done. This man he killed with a gun, this one with a knife. God knows what else he’d have to do between today and that day. He wouldn’t be able to keep it all inside him forever.
But for tonight, there was nothing he could say to her. He had to keep doing his job, whatever he was told to do next. He had to follow every order until he finally saw his chance to get out. Until then, letting her into his world would mean making her a part of it.
He wasn’t ready to do that.
Not yet.
? ? ?
They were having lunch at a place on Addison Street the next day, sitting at a table outside. Mason looked across the street and saw the black Escalade parked there. The driver’s-side window slid down and he saw Quintero’s face.
“Who is that?” Lauren said, following his eyes. She saw the man sitting in the vehicle, saw the tattoos and the sunglasses and the easy way he rested his arm across the steering wheel. Watching them and not caring if they noticed.
Then he took off his sunglasses and nodded to her. She swallowed hard and looked away. Mason stared at the man and thought about what this could mean for them. He knows we’re together, Mason said to himself. He followed us all the way up here to her neighborhood. He knows she’s in my life now.
“He’s part of this,” she said. My first glimpse into this other life, she thought. This other life that touches both of us.
This other life that will begin again, at any moment.
“Yes,” Mason said, keeping his promise to her. No more lies.
? ? ?
When Lauren woke up the next morning, she lay next to Mason and traced her finger along the lines on his face, memorizing him. Thinking about the bet she’d made on this man. That he was a good man in a bad situation. That all of the uncertainty and all of the wondering were a price worth paying to be with him.
Then the phone rang.
Nick’s eyes opened. He looked at her first, then he sat up and grabbed the phone off the night table. He sat with his back to her as he listened, never saying a word. When the call was done, he put the phone down.
She sat up in the bed. “Nick . . .”
He got up, still silent, and put his clothes on.
She wrapped the covers around herself and watched every movement he made. This is it, she said to herself, the moment I’ve been dreading. I can’t ask him where he’s going or what he’ll have to do. All I can do is wonder how long he’ll be gone and what new scars he’ll have when he comes back.
If he comes back at all.
Mason came over and kissed her. He stood there for a long time, looking down at her in the bed.
He checked his watch.
“I have to go to work,” he said.
Then he was gone.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to thank Shane Salerno for believing in me and for doing more than any one person could ever be asked to do to make this new series a reality. Thanks, also, to Edward Tsai, Don Winslow, and everyone associated with The Story Factory.
I’m grateful to Ivan Held, Sara Minnich, and everyone else at G. P. Putnam’s Sons.