“Wait here,” Linus said. “I’ll talk to her.” He left, too, and his footsteps went rapidly downstairs. His voice sounded below: “Rosie!”
I turned to Tom, who was openly fascinated.
“She hates me,” I said.
“She’s a trip,” he said.
I choked out a laugh and hugged my arms around myself.
“She’s different from how she was on The Forge Show,” he said. “She’s a little scary, to be honest.”
“She’s changed. It only makes sense.”
“But she talks a lot like you, too,” he went on. “It’s not her voice, but, the whole thing’s just bizarre.”
“Because we’re the same person,” I said.
I’d barely glanced at Linus’s room when we’d walked in, but now I took in the angled ceiling, the windows, and the single, neatly made bed. Had she spent the night with him here? A lump tightened in my chest. That should have been me.
“What do you want to do?” Tom asked.
“Stay here, obviously. Figure this out.”
Footsteps came slowly up the stairs again, and Linus leaned in the door. It was painful to be in the same room with him when he looked at me in such a measuring way.
“She’s okay,” he said. “She just needs a little time to herself.”
“When did she get here?” I asked.
“Last night.”
“I wish you’d called me,” I said.
“We were busy,” he said.
Was that color tinting his cheeks?
“I bet,” I said.
He looked pointedly at my belly. “I notice you managed to omit that you were pregnant when we talked on the phone.”
“Like it would matter to you?” I said.
“Thea,” Tom said quietly.
I ignored him. “The truth is, I had a hard enough time getting you even to listen to me. I knew you wouldn’t understand about this,” I said to Linus.
“You’re wrong,” he said. “I understand pregnancy. What I still don’t understand is how you know so much about me and Rosie.”
“I told you,” I said. “I am Rosie. I have the same mind as her. Didn’t I just prove it? Rosie knows me. And how can you be sleeping with her? She looks like a fragile wreck.”
“You’re the one who just upset her,” Linus said.
“Thea, this isn’t helping,” Tom said.
“Leave me alone!” I snapped at him. “You weren’t there, okay? You don’t have anything to do with this!”
Tom stiffened. He eyed me coolly. “I’ll be downstairs,” he said, and headed out.
I pressed a hand to my forehead. I was a total jerk. No wonder nobody liked me.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
Linus reached for a mug on the bedside table, and I knew in another second, he’d be going downstairs to get away from me, like everyone else.
“I mean it. I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m not like this.”
“No?”
I threw out a hand. “Will you try for just one second to imagine how frustrating this is for me? I don’t want to be like this. This isn’t my body. Nobody understands who I am.”
A sharpness flickered in his eyes. “I tried,” he said. “When we talked on the phone, I really believed you were Rosie. Even with the wrong voice, you convinced me. But you’re nothing like her.”
“Why? Because I lost my temper?”
He watched me intently. “Because it turns out you lied. You lied about the baby and who knows what else.”
“You think Rosie never lies to you?” I asked. “I’d bet you anything she’s acting all sweet and trusting, but she isn’t. She doesn’t know how to trust anybody anymore. That’s who she is. That’s what the vault does to you.”
“Try speaking for yourself,” Linus said.
“I am! I’m speaking for both of us. She was in the vault even longer than I was and I’m angry as anything.”
“At Berg.”
“At you!” I said, with all my heartache and fury boiling over. “All this time, you let him win!”
Linus stood tensely, frowning down at the mug in his hand. He shook his head, as if he had a thousand words pent up.
“Go on,” I said, my voice low. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“I only have these kinds of conversations with Rosie,” he said. “She’s the only one who can make me feel this.”
“This what?”
He looked up at me, his gaze hard. “Worthless,” he said. “Excuse me.”
He stepped out of the room.
I sank slowly to the edge of the bed and crushed my hands together. My anger evaporated. I had utterly and completely blown it. I was a crappy person. A mean, crappy person. So why did my heart feel slashed apart?
Another one of my false contractions came creeping over my belly, tightening everything inward. It wasn’t painful, but it seemed like Althea’s body was mocking me.
“Perfect,” I muttered.
I was still tired from walking the long tunnel under Forge, and rattled from my meeting with Berg. All this time, I had wanted to find Rosie as if I owed her something or could help her somehow. What a joke. She wanted nothing to do with me, and I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t want anything to do with myself, either.
From the hall, light footsteps were approaching, and I glanced up as Rosie appeared in the doorway. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, studying me with obvious skepticism.
“That didn’t take you long,” she said. “You managed to alienate all three of us.”
“It’s my special skill.”
She briefly pursed her lips. “Tom said you went to Forge today. Did you find out anything?”
“Actually, I did. I talked to Berg.”
“Really? How?”
“He found me in the basement, by the vault of dreamers. I went down to investigate.”
She leaned her head forward. “Are you serious? Tom didn’t mention that.”
“Because I didn’t tell him I went down there.”
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. She came further in, and I could tell she was curious. “What did Berg say?”
“Nothing much, but he knows my name now,” I said. “He’s going to figure out I was at Chimera, and I’m guessing he’ll know pretty soon that your dreams were seeded into me. That can’t be good for either of us.”
“How many of my memories do you have?”
“I have the same memories as you up to the point that I left the vault.”
She looked at me thoughtfully. “Do you remember Ian?” she asked.
“He was one of our keepers in the vault,” I said. “Dr. Ash mentioned his name. Creepy guy.”
“He was disgusting,” Rosie said. “I got him to lighten up on my meds by pretending to be his girlfriend. Then I snuck out one night and stole a car. I nearly froze to death, but I got free.” She considered me another minute. “How long have you been in the States?”
“A week. We came home from Chimera last Monday.” For a second, I considered telling her about Orson, our father, but this wasn’t the time. I ought to tell her about seeing Dubbs and Ma and Larry, too.
“Does your new family know about you?” Rosie asked.
I nodded. “They’re having a hard time accepting it. They keep hoping I’ll wake up as Althea one of these days.” I took a deep breath. “Listen, you might as well believe me. Why would I make this up?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’m wondering,” she said.
“Ask me anything,” I said.
“Where did we go for vacation when I was ten?”
“The Grand Canyon. We took a road trip there. Larry got poison ivy and complained all the way back.”