“Wait, you didn’t need to—”
Jordan grins and takes both of the desserts from the vendor. “I’m not saying this is a date or anything. What’s happening here is me holding your delicious treat hostage until you tell me what you’re thinking.” He gives me a sly smile and an attempt at an evil laugh before tucking my dessert behind his back.
I can’t help but return his grin as I follow him to a nearby bench and we sit down. “It’s very hard to take you seriously as a Bond villain when the leverage you’re holding is ice cream.”
“A good villain works with what he’s got.”
“Well, as long as we’re agreed that this isn’t a date…” I grab for my ice cream and he lifts it out of my reach.
“Oh, when I take you on a date, you’ll definitely know it.” There’s no way for me to mistake his meaning this time, although I see a hint of nervousness deep in his eyes.
I raise my eyebrows, both incredulous at his confidence and a little surprised he would just assume I would go. When my speeding heartbeat pretty much declares my excitement about the idea of an official date, I tell it in my head to shut up. “When, huh? That’s pretty confident of you.”
“Yes. When.” He gives me a firm nod like there is absolutely no room for arguing this point. Then he changes back to the original subject. “For now, though, information first, dessert later.”
“I don’t know. Everything he said … it’s a lot to digest in a short time.” I deliberately don’t look at Jordan. In all honesty, I don’t have a clue how to feel. I haven’t had time to really think it through yet.
To his credit, Jordan doesn’t look like he buys that as an actual answer for a second, but he does hand over my promised dessert and doesn’t pressure me further. When his eyes meet mine again, there is more concern than playfulness there. “Fine, just answer this then. Are you okay?”
“I think so. We’re talking about something that happened when I was six—and then everyone has lied to me about it ever since—but it still makes me see everything differently.” A fresh wash of disappointment comes over me, and I take a bite of my ice cream, which tastes so amazing it actually does make me feel a little better. Cloud 10 may be my favorite thing about Texas. Still, I don’t feel ready to look at Jordan right now, so I keep my eyes on the sidewalk between my violet sneakers.
“I can’t imagine that it wouldn’t,” he says simply, taking a bite of his own ice cream but keeping his eyes on me.
I sigh and say the thought that bubbles in the back of my mind constantly. “We’re down to seventeen days now, Jordan.”
“I know.” He responds quietly before surprising me by slipping one arm around my shoulders and squeezing me lightly against his side. It only lasts for a minute, but somehow just having him here helps me find a piece of hope to cling to.
I clasp the cup of ice cream tight in my hands, my fingers cold even in the warm evening air. “Thank you for coming.”
“I just want to be sure that you really want the answers you’re looking for. No one would blame you for preferring not to know, considering the time you have left with your father.” He turns his gaze from the office buildings around us down to me. “I already told you, Riley. I am all in with you on this. No matter what.”
“Okay then. I don’t just want the answers. I need them. There’s no turning back now.” I swallow my nerves along with another spoonful of ice cream. “So I guess we’re in this together.”
The sun sinks below the faraway horizon and the streetlamps come to life, casting us in an eerie glow. I can’t tell if it’s because of the creepy lighting or because of the task we’re facing, but Jordan’s smile has taken on a grim aspect when I meet his eyes again.
Even in this unsettling atmosphere, his response reassures me the way it seems only Jordan can. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
*
I spend much of Tuesday alone. Looking through my notes and Daddy’s old letters, I keep trying to wrap my head around the idea that he could possibly still be innocent of the murders … but guilty of betraying our family all the same. Cheating may not carry a prison sentence with it, but it’s still something that’s difficult to forgive. It’s a decision he made that could’ve broken our family. I don’t know how he could feel like the best answer was to convince everyone I trusted to lie to me about it. And I’m starting to feel like I don’t know him at all.