Anytime someone questioned him about personal information—otherwise known as research to make sure he wasn’t on America’s Most Wanted list—he either dismissed the person or responded by saying they could fill out a request as long as they were serious about it.
Figuring I had nothing better to do with my time, I decided to complete the inquiry, for nothing more than to catch a killer before bodies started washing ashore along the Gulf Coast. What I found most odd was his unusual request for anyone with a picture attached to their email account, to remove it before submitting their response.
He only asked for my name and the age range I fell into, nothing specific. There was a place to add where I currently lived, and a box to list my reasons for seeking a room to rent. Other than my email address, he asked for no other way to reach me. For the most part, it looked legit—other than the complete anonymity on his part.
In all honesty, I didn’t expect to hear anything back, but that hadn’t stopped me from checking my email incessantly throughout the day. After Stevie and Derek headed off to bed for the night, I refreshed the page one last time before giving up, and to my surprise, I had a new email from Roommates Anonymous.
Dear Jade, thank you for your recent inquiry submission on my post. Let me start out by saying I’m only looking for people who are serious about moving in. I have to be honest and tell you I’ve received hundreds of emails from people all over the country, some legitimately looking for a room to rent, but most have been curious folks trying to get information on me. It’s not that I am keeping my identity a secret for malicious reasons, and once I explain, I hope you can understand my logic.
I’m not interested in a relationship, so therefore, I don’t care what you look like, hence the no-photo request. If you’re in dire need of a room, this probably won’t work out for you. As much as I would like to have the spare room filled tomorrow, I feel it’s necessary to get acquainted with one another a little first, so that when you do move in, we won’t feel like complete strangers. Before a final decision is made on either of our parts, you will have all the information about me you’ll need in order to make a sound assessment as to whether or not this is the right move for you.
I am a thirty-year-old single man who works a lot. You won’t see me Monday through Friday, but I will be around on the weekends. I don’t currently know anyone in the area, as I’ve recently moved here after my divorce, and I’m not home enough to meet many people. The house is small, three bedrooms, but plenty of space, so you won’t feel like we’re living on top of each other, and it’s right on the beach. It’s a small community (I’m sure you’ve probably already done your research on Geneva Key) so almost everything is within walking distance or a short bike ride away. I have cable and internet, both of which you are free to use as you’d like, and obviously utilities. Like I said in the ad, rent can be negotiated. There won’t be a lease, so you don’t have to worry about that, but since I will be gone a lot, leaving my home vulnerable to someone I’m not familiar with, I will ask for permission to run a full background check and screening. Now would be the time to make me aware of anything I might find.
If you’re still interested in taking the next step, please reply to this email. If not, thank you for your request, and good luck on the search for finding the perfect roommate.
Best of luck,
Cash N.
I’d expected the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end, warning me of danger ahead, but I didn’t get that feeling. Instead, I sensed sincerity. Then again, “Oh, Johnny killed ten people? Yeah, I always thought he was weird and totally capable of murder,” said no one…ever. I was pretty sure sincerity was what kept these guys with stockpiles of victims.
I had no plans to move in with the guy—there was no way I’d put my daughter in that situation—but that didn’t stop me from responding, if for no other reason than to learn more about this mystery that had blown up and made its way to Stevie’s Facebook wall.
Unsure of what kind of response he was looking for, I simply said I was still interested in finding out if we’d make a good team, and signed it with, “Looking forward to hearing from you.” Then I closed the lid of the laptop, set it aside, and curled up with my blanket on the pallet I’d made on the floor next to where Aria slept peacefully on the couch.
To my surprise, I had an email waiting for me the next morning. It had come in minutes after I’d sent my response last night, and I kicked myself for not waiting up for it. Having this to entertain me could’ve saved me from an hour of tossing and turning on folded blankets that did nothing to soften the hard floor beneath me.
It’s so great to hear back from you, Jade. I’ve created a form for you to complete. If you wouldn’t mind answering the few questions I’ve laid out and send it back, we can get started on moving this process forward. Again, I hope you can understand my need for things to happen this way. As I’m sure you might have figured out, my ad has been somewhat elevated, and I would really like to find someone who truly wants this opportunity. Wading through the requests has been a challenge, so I ask that if you’re not serious, please end it now.
Thank you,
Cash N.
I clicked the link he provided and pounded away on the keyboard.
Full Name: Jade Duran Robertson
Email: [email protected]
Age: 22
When I got to the question about pets, I debated. It wasn’t ideal to refer to my daughter as an animal, but considering I didn’t plan to ever live with him, he’d never be aware that Aria, the two-year-old “small breed,” was in fact a human and not a dog.
I laughed at myself and continued with the form.
Price Point for Rent
He’d given three options: two hundred to four hundred, four hundred to six hundred, and six hundred to eight hundred. Beneath those, there was a spot for “other” and a blank to fill in my own answer. I chose the first one. It wasn’t like I could’ve afforded any of the options I had, but I figured “zero to fifty” would conclude this game, and if I were honest, I was actually having fun with this.
Job: Nanny
It didn’t matter that it was for my own kid.