Days slipped past and I fell into despair. The moment I saw Cannon lying on the bed with the flames dancing so near, was when I knew for certain I loved him. A deep, aching love that wasn’t going to go away.
I wished I’d been bold enough to tell him about that night he’d pledged his love for me. But what would it change between us? Yes, I loved him too with all my heart, but I wouldn’t be the one to hold him back.
I hated myself for not confronting him the second I had the chance. I hated myself even more for searching for job openings in Denver on my lunch break at work. I knew things were over between us, but that didn’t stop my brain from fantasizing about what it would be like to start over, to move to a new city, to explore things for real with Cannon.
On the outside, my life had gone back to normal. I worked, ate, slept, and went to the gym, but night after night, alone in my house, I cried myself to sleep. While I still had somewhat of a strained relationship with Allie, I felt sure over time our friendship would recover.
It was Friday evening, and Allie was over for an adult beverage and a marathon of our favorite show on Netflix about a pack of single women living it up in the city. It was almost comical how far the scenario was from our lives, but maybe that was why we liked it—it was a chance to escape reality for an evening.
I set a cranberry-vodka cocktail in front of Allie on the coffee table, and then sat down beside her with my own stiffer version. “Cheers.”
She raised her glass to her lips. “Yummy. Thanks.”
Pointing the remote at the TV, I hit Play on the show, our third episode of the night, and probably not our last.
“I want to say something to you, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.” She paused to adjust her skirt while I tried to figure out what was on her mind.
I set my cocktail down in front of me. “Just say it, Al.”
She placed one hand on my shoulder and gave me a small smile. “Don’t look back. If Cinderella had gone back for her shoe, she wouldn’t be a princess today.”
It was her way of telling me I needed to accept this and move on. I guess she knew, or at least suspected, that there were deeper feelings between Cannon and me than I was letting on. And the thing was, as much as it hurt, she was right. I needed to accept the way things turned out. I didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure if I was expected to, but I returned her smile.
“When’s he moving?” I asked after a few minutes of silence between us. I wasn’t sure if she was watching the show or merely staring blankly into space like I was.
“He leaves tomorrow,” she said, squeezing the lime wedge in her drink and licking her fingers. She raised her glass to mine again. “On to bigger and better.”
My eyes might have been on the screen, but I didn’t see a thing. My entire being was focused on the fact that the man who’d stolen my heart was taking it with him when he moved halfway across the country tomorrow. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
Chapter Thirty-One
Paige
Cannon: I fly out this afternoon. Wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me before I left.
Cannon’s text message that morning came as a surprise. I was lying in bed thinking of him and my talk with Allie last night when my phone chirped, signaling a new message. I could only wonder if he was lying in bed across town thinking of me too.
After hearing nothing from him since the fire last week, I expected him to leave without a backward glance. Of course I wanted to see him, but when I thought about how that meeting would go, doubts began to creep in.
What would we say—I’ll miss you? Have a good life? That was too painful to think about. I’d come to terms with the fact that I’d have to watch him move on from afar, that I’d occasionally hear updates from Allie. I was sure he’d be a brilliant doctor and have a beautiful life. And I knew one day he’d meet someone and marry.
Paige: It’s probably better if we don’t.
There was no reply after that.
But two hours later, I found myself Googling flight times to Denver. I hightailed my ass to the airport, hoping to see him before he left with a piece of me I’d never get back. I didn’t care how bad it would hurt, how awkward or stilted the conversation might be. I wasn’t going to miss my last chance at seeing him.
When I arrived at the airport, I navigated to the terminal I’d researched. There was a flight to Denver leaving in under two hours. If he wasn’t on this flight, there was another taking off in about four hours. I had all day, and I would be patient.
I was only there five minutes when his mom’s little silver sedan slipped past me in traffic. Ducking my head, I slid on my sunglasses, hoping no one spotted me.
I waited several car lengths away and watched as Allie and his mom dropped him off at the curb, hugging and kissing him like they were sending him off to war. Cannon was quiet, pensive, but didn’t seem overly upset. I knew he was probably excited for this next phase of his life.