I was in turmoil beneath the surface. An urge to escape the car and pretend the night never happened warred with a desire to stay and reciprocate the pleasure he’d given me. Could I go back in time and never find out the truth? That was what I wanted. To live in ignorant bliss. I’d liked him so much . . .
As I put my hand on his fly, the wretched fight song echoed in my ears. I shouldn’t have gotten in his car, but his mouth had been too convincing. He was the devil. The seduction of his lips could make me do anything. So, when he bent his head to try to kiss me, I drew away, and his mouth landed awkwardly on my ear.
The mood in the car shifted like an interception, and now it was all gone. Everything except his erection. I moved my hand over it, stroking up and down, trying not to think about what I was doing.
He sighed, but it wasn’t in pleasure. His hand covered mine. “I don’t want you doing that, unless you actually want to do that.”
“I don’t mind.”
Well, that came out sounding awful. I grimaced.
His grip on my hand tightened. “Yeah, don’t do me any favors.”
The situation in the car was rapidly deteriorating but I didn’t know how to correct it. Maybe it was better if I left before I made things worse. I slid my hand away and glanced out the window. “I think maybe I should get going.”
He was visibly disappointed, and perhaps annoyed, but didn’t say anything. He pushed his door open, climbed out, and shut it behind him with a heavy thud. Oh, God. I was so uncomfortable, it was painful. I stared at my knees and did up the buttons of my shirt. Cool air washed over me as the door on my side opened, and there he was, standing beside it with his hand out.
I swallowed a breath and took his offered hand.
It’d been a calculated move, because once I was outside and on my feet, I was too distracted by the cool nighttime air to stop him. His mouth pressed to mine.
Oh, his kiss. It burned in all the right ways, heating all the right places. Maybe we could turn this thing around. Just for tonight. We’d already fooled around, so was it that big of a deal to keep doing it? Just enough for him to get satisfaction?
“Jay,” I said. I set my hands flat on his chest. “I . . .”
“Where are you going? Back to Dayton?”
I swallowed thickly. “Columbus.”
“You’ve got a long drive back. I’ll let you get to it.” His arms around me fell away, and it was stunning how much I didn’t like the sensation. I followed his lead as we went to my car, and I pulled my keys from my purse. I unlocked and opened the door, but stopped and looked at him. Could he see how uncertain I felt about this?
“Kiss me.” My voice was a ghost.
He looked pleased but didn’t move to fulfill my request. “Why?”
It was an excellent question, and I went with a simple answer. “Because I want you to.”
A seductive smile bowed on his lips as he took my face in his large hands. “You don’t know what you want.” His mouth seared against mine, and he gave me just a sliver of tongue. Exactly enough to leave me wanting more. “You have my number. Call me when you do.”
I was surprised he let me slip into the seat when he’d mentioned he was ‘driven as fuck’ earlier, but my stomach did a flip-flop when I gazed up at him. His expression was almost triumphant.
It said that this thing between us was far from over.
-12-
KAYLA
A freshman’s feet landed hard on the mat, and the sound echoed in the cavernous fieldhouse. After we’d finished choreography, I’d sorted the squad into two lines to work on tumbling passes, and this was the first time the returning squad was getting a look at what the new kids could do.
“Nice,” I shouted over the music coming from the stereo. “Rachel, watch your landing.”
Lisa raised an eyebrow. “Maybe she likes blowing out her knees.”
I shot Lisa a look that said she needed to keep her comments to herself. I’d hoped once our practices began, her attitude would improve, but no such luck. If Lisa kept pushing the line with me, I’d pull her aside with Samantha, our head coach, and have a chat about team unity.
The final pair of freshmen stepped off, and the two girls tumbled down the mat. Kelly had been all-state in gymnastics her senior year of high school, and it showed. Her full twisting layout at the end of the pass looked effortless.
“Water, Commandant?” one of the guys joked.
“What?” I fake scowled. “You had water yesterday.” I glanced at the clock. It was a good stopping point. “Okay, let’s take a quick break.”
I moved toward my water bottle and Lisa followed me like a bad shadow. She hovered around me as I drank. “Have you picked the travel squad yet?”
Was she serious? “No, but it’s only the second day of camp.”
She bristled. “I was talking to my boyfriend—he’s pre-med—about how great it would be, since I wasn’t selected as captain, to at least be on the travel squad.”
I gave her a plain look. “Message received, Lisa.”
“What?” She made a face. “I don’t know what you mean.” Although she so clearly did.
It only exaggerated the nagging headache I’d been battling all day. I fished a bottle of Advil out of my purse, popped two pills into my mouth, and swallowed them down.
Lisa bent and picked something up off the ground beside my purse. She stared at the white napkin in her hand, reading the handwritten name and numbers on it—
Crap!
I nearly spit out my water. I’d left the napkin with Jay’s info on it in my purse, unable to deal with it. It must have fallen out, and now it was in Lisa’s hand like a grenade with the pin pulled.
“Who’s Jay Harris?” she asked, her tone innocuous. She didn’t seem to recognize the name, thank God. I wanted to rip the napkin from her grip, but tried to play it cool. If I went after it too aggressively, it might tip her off.
“Nobody,” I said quickly, lying. Jay wasn’t a nobody. In fact, he’d dominated my thoughts every day since I’d left Biff’s more than a week ago. “He’s just some guy I met.”
“You call him?”
“No, I don’t think I’m going to.”
She nodded and strode toward the trashcan near the door, carrying the napkin with her.
Wait a minute, a voice inside me screamed. “What are you doing?”
She paused. “You said you weren’t going to call him.”
“I haven’t made up my mind.” My voice wavered. “It’s just, he’s—”
“Not pre-med?” Lisa nodded as if she understood completely. “I told you Brent is, right? I get it, no guy’s perfect. Well, mine is. I meant most other guys.”
She marched back to me and handed the napkin over. I stared at the black ink. He did seem perfect, other than the one flaw. Too bad that flaw was so big, it’d swallow me whole.
“Time’s almost up,” Lisa said.
“What?”
She pointed over my shoulder, and I turned to see the clock. “Break time’s almost up.”
“Oh, right,” I said, shoving the napkin inside my purse and pretending I wasn’t relieved to have it back.