The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O.

DAY 620 (EARLY APRIL, YEAR 2)

As has been noted repeatedly by Dr. Blevins and others higher up the chain of command, recruitment of DOers has proceeded more slowly than we would like. Finding people with the right combination of security clearance, skill set, and physical attributes is a very demanding challenge. I’ve lost track of the number of promising candidates we’ve had to reject because of dental work alone.

As DORC continues to staff up new HOSMAs (Historical Operations Subject Matter Authorities) and trainers, we’ll increasingly be able to “grow our own” DOers by selecting promising candidates and training them in the requisite languages and skills. We’ve already seen progress in that area with new HOSMAs coming online almost daily, specializing in the languages and cultures of late medieval Europe and the Byzantine Empire. But a DOer can only learn a language so fast.

In the meantime, we are therefore going to have to rely on a small number of extremely exceptional people who just happen to walk in the door with all the capabilities we need—needles in a very large haystack. Fortunately, General Frink and Dr. Rudge have been active in connecting us to the existing recruitment networks that the United States Government and its allies have established in the military and intelligence sectors, giving us broader access to the aforementioned haystack and enabling us to search through it more efficiently.

I’m pleased to announce that today we have signed our first two DOer recruits: Chira Lajani and Felix Dorn. Both were recruited specifically with an eye towards the upcoming kalonji DEDEs, which as you all know is the linchpin of our plan for establishing a really solid safe house in 1562 Antwerp. Because of her unusual linguistic skill set, we also believe that Chira will be DODO’s pathfinder in 1200 Constantinople, which is projected to be the focal point of many diachronic operations in the first year or two of DODO’s operations.

Chira and Felix came to us through very different recruitment pathways. Chira first came to the attention of U.S. Intelligence talent scouts active in the Syrian refugee community. Considered too physically conspicuous for conventional intelligence work, she was brought to our attention as someone fitting the “Lover” profile. Felix, by contrast, is an old friend and mentor of mine whom I recruited over a beer. Their dossiers are available on the ODIN system for those of you curious to know more about our newest colleagues. Please join me in making Chira and Felix feel welcome in the Department of Diachronic Operations!

—Tristan





DODO HUMAN RESOURCES


PERSONNEL DOSSIER


FAMILY NAME: Lajani

GIVEN NAME(S): Chira Yasin

ALIAS(ES): Cyl

AGE: 24

CLASS: Lover

HEIGHT: 5′3″

EYES: Brown

HAIR: Brown

COMPLEXION: Medium/olive

DISTINCTIVE FEATURES: Mole near left clavicle

ETHNICITY: Kurd

NATIONALITY: Syrian

LANGUAGE FLUENCY RATINGS:

Kurdish: 5

English, Zaza-Gorani, Turkish: 4

Farsi, Syrian, and Iranian Arabic: 3

Bulgarian, Greek: 2

NOTE: Following immersive training in medieval Hebrew as preparation for kalonji DEDE, subject scored 2.5 fluency rating in that language, however the score is at best speculative given our uncertain knowledge base.

RELIGION: Non-observant Muslim

CITIZENSHIP: Stateless, being fast-tracked for U.S. citizenship

BIOGRAPHY: Upper-middle class secular Muslim from Kobani (Ayn al-Arab). At the age of 16, lived in United States (Issaquah, Washington) for 9 months as part of a foreign exchange program. Attended Cornell University. Psychology major, Dance minor. Dropped out in sophomore year when parents publicly decapitated by IS forces. Pretended to be ISIS sympathizer on social media, flew to Istanbul, traveled overland to border region with intention of crossing Syrian border. En route, fell in with and entered into sexual relationship with male MI6 agent also masquerading as ISIS recruit. With him, crossed border into Syria and returned to Kobani to protect younger sister (15) and brother (13). During subsequent military operations, escaped from Kobani with her siblings and crossed back into Turkey, made way overland to Bodrum, crossed over to Greek island of Kos in inflatable boat, joined refugee community on Kos. There recognized the body language of American DODO recruiter who was posing as a refugee. Approached him. Her story cross-checked with accounts on file from the MI6 agent. Agreed to work for DODO in exchange for her and her siblings being fast-tracked for American citizenship.

SKILL SET: Besides languages (above) and keen assessment of body language (above), extremely fit, hardy, able to stay calm in high-stress and physically challenging circumstances; dancer (modern, jazz, bellydance); history and affect suggests aptitude for emotional/psychological persuasiveness and manipulation. Well-spoken with broad Western-style liberal arts education. Appealing face and figure by most cultures’ metrics.

LIMITATIONS: Minimal self-defense or martial arts experience. Incapable of being inconspicuous or subtle, even when wearing burka. Do not send on missions requiring stealth or delicate negotiations. Comfortable in cosmopolitan and suburban settings; rural and slum settings not so good.





DODO HUMAN RESOURCES


PERSONNEL DOSSIER


FAMILY NAME: Dorn

GIVEN NAME(S): Felix John

ALIAS(ES): N/A

AGE: 31

CLASS: Strider

HEIGHT: 5′9″

EYES: Hazel

HAIR: Brown

COMPLEXION: Light

DISTINCTIVE FEATURES: Appears to squint (actually has 20/15 vision); slight stutter on the letter L

ETHNICITY: American of Austrian/German/Dutch heritage

NATIONALITY: U.S.

LANGUAGE FLUENCY RATINGS:

American English: 5

German: 4

French, Spanish: 3

NOTE: As part of preparation for kalonji DEDE, underwent immersive training in medieval Hebrew (fluency rating 1.5), Byzantine Greek (2), and medieval Dutch (2).

RELIGION: Non-observant Lutheran

CITIZENSHIP: American

BIOGRAPHY: Raised in middle-class home in CT, father owned auto shop, mother a nurse, formerly for Médecins Sans Frontières. Dyslexic. Majored in PhysEd at UConn, emphasis on cross-country and wilderness survival skills. Former USA Olympic track & field team, took bronze in Marathon. Worked at Outward Bound, involved in various “extreme sports” activities including cliff jumping, rock climbing, Parkour.

RECRUITMENT: Personal contact by LTC Tristan Lyons, whom he met while leading a rock-climbing expedition (Lyons 14 at the time). They became friends, and continued to engage in wilderness-oriented athletic activities together.

SKILL SET: Extremely fit, hardy, capable of functioning under punishing physical circumstances (natural or man-made). Physically nondescript enough to “blend into crowd” in most Caucasian populations. Decent MacGyver-like capabilities. Loyalty unshakable.

LIMITATIONS: Dyslexic, not comfortable in conversationally dependent situations. More comfortable in rural than urban/suburban surroundings.




Post by Mortimer Shore on

“General” ODIN channel

DAY 622