– Rachel bat Avraham was Homed back to 1203 Constantinople from ODEC #4 at about 11:25.
– This was an unauthorized operation. The MUON who performed the Homing was using the ODEC for routine training when Rachel showed up and demanded to be let in to the ODEC. Once inside, Rachel employed psy-ops [magical] techniques to induce the other MUON to effect the Homing spell.
– Unless you hear otherwise, RIP Rachel bat Avraham.
– There’s going to be a lot of wiki confusion over the next hour or so. Please just stay away from all Constantinople-related entries until end of day tomorrow or you’ll get even more confused. Tomorrow you may find references to a conflagration or explosion or firestorm around Galata Tower in Constantinople July 1203. If you are one of the Byzantine DOers or historians, it might not match your memories of the battle for Galata Tower. Those memories are now out of date.
– Lieutenant Colonel Tristan Lyons remains on active DEDE in that DTAP.
Meanwhile I’ve also been asked to share a little bit of information about Diachronic Shear since most of us weren’t on the scene yet the last time it happened. What I’ve got below is a helpful mnemonic to bide you over, until one of the real pros has time to write up something more detailed. Feel free to print this out and post it in break rooms, etc. More TK soon.
Peace out, Mortimer
DIACHRONIC SHEAR
YOU CRINGE, YOU SINGE!
RAFSTIQUORDOT!
Run
A common mistake at the onset of a Diachronic Shear event is to reflexively shield oneself from eruptions of bodily fluids and flaming gobbets, thus losing precious moments that could be spent putting distance between yourself and the epicenter. A rift between universes is no place to be fussy—you can always clean up later.
Amputate
Body parts that unfortunately found themselves on the wrong side of the rift may seem to remain attached. Intense GLAAMR and general disorientation may hide their misshapen form. Many victims will be unwilling to believe in the reality of what has happened to them. The temptation may be strong to leave these attached and hope for the best. Don’t do it! Think of it as being like gangrene, except faster.
Fires (extinguish)
Most Diachronic Shear events are recorded in the history books as epic fires of unknown origin. That’s because, after the Shear itself is over and done with, fires remain, and find plentiful fuel in destroyed structures. Nipping these in the bud may prevent enormous loss of life in the coming hours.
Shore up crumbling structures
Buildings may have lost primary structural members during the Shear. Ones that haven’t collapsed already may be prevented from doing so with stopgap measures. When in doubt, get out!
Tourniquets (apply as needed)
This is an elementary first-aid procedure that may save the lives of some who were caught along the boundary of the Shear.
Intimidate witnesses
Rumors spawned by a Shear event may trigger a cascade of aftershocks, as well as compromising your cover story. Do whatever it takes to discourage witnesses from saying anything to their friends and loved ones about what they have seen. Given the nature of what goes on during a Shear, this will commonly involve some sort of appeal to whatever gods, demons, or other supernatural forces figure in to the locals’ belief system.
Quell civil disturbances
Panicked bystanders may react in a way that will only inflict further human suffering—as well as making it difficult for you to get Homed.
Use your pre-established alibi
As part of Standard Operating Procedures, DOers should always have alibis and explanations handy for any discrepancies that may be called to their attention by curious and meddlesome locals. Anything you can do to place yourself far from the scene of the Shear will help you get home.
Observe
This one’s far down the list because it’s a lower priority. But it’s still a priority! DODO is always eager to gather more data on what happens during a Diachronic Shear, and so any observations that can be committed to memory will be welcome once you get home.
Return to the twenty-first century
This is self-explanatory! Find your KCW and get Homed as soon as possible—if a Shear has occurred in your DTAP, it means that your operation has been “blown” and there is no point in your staying around.
Document
Get to a debriefing room as quickly as possible and record everything you remember while it’s fresh in your mind.
Opiates
Medical research conducted during the Iraq War has confirmed that immediate administration of morphine following a traumatic event can prevent post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Our medicine cabinet is well stocked and we have personnel standing by trained in the prompt and proper administration of this therapy.
Therapy
As all DOers will be aware from their HR portfolios, the benefits package includes state-of-the-art health care, with no arbitrary distinctions made between physical and mental health. These benefits are your right—don’t hesitate to use them!
Post by Dr. Roger Blevins on
“Department Heads” ODIN channel
DAY 1808
cc: LTG Octavian K. Frink
General Frink has asked to present an account of the confusing and regrettable events preceding and following the disappearance of one of our MUONs: Rachel bat Avraham. Please note that this is a confidential and privileged communication for senior management only. You may disseminate relevant facts to your subordinates on a need-to-know basis.
I must begin by emphasizing that none of these events were within my power to alter, in large part due to the somewhat decentralized nature of our current org chart and the inherent limitations of managing Anachrons, MUONs, and other personalities who are not a good match for modern organizational discipline.
Having said that, below is a summary of events courtesy of Macy Stoll after interviewing all relevant witnesses. I believe at this point you are aware, at least anecdotally, of most of what happened, but you may consider the following account definitive:
Per established HR procedures, Dr. Blevins was interviewing Rachel bat Avraham in Conference Room #2. This was a quarterly review, of the sort normally conducted by Lieutenant Colonel Lyons, but since LTC Lyons was away on a DEDE, Dr. Blevins had decided to conduct the review himself.