JOAN
Gavin is a great person. He’s a great actor and singer and songwriter and he’s my friend and my partner. I’m the walrus and he’s the blackbird. I don’t like that he doesn’t think I should get my hopes up about the song contest and I don’t like that he didn’t want to come on the show with me today and I don’t think it’s good for him to wear that bracelet and I don’t like how his new beard covers his dimple, but I like just about everything else about him. I knew Gavin was special from the very first time I met him.
MINDY
Kevin, it’s obvious that Joan is quite fond of you. It’s clear to me that, with Dad not around, Joan is looking to bond with a male figure. Would you agree with that, Dr. Satcher?
SATCHER
I’m no psychologist, but it makes sense. I’d be curious to know more about Kevin’s own upbringing.
KEVIN
It’s none of your business. Look, we’re done here. I’m taking Joan and we’re leaving.
MINDY
Taking her? Hold on. If you’re not her uncle, I don’t think you should be taking her anywhere.
[Applause]
JOAN
I hate my HSAM! I want to play my song!
MINDY
Did you hear that, Dr. Satcher? Joan says she hates her HSAM. Is that normal, to reject oneself like that?
SATCHER
It’s part of the process. We see this in cancer patients. No one wants to be defined by his or her disease.
MINDY
But you wouldn’t call HSAM a disease, right?
SATCHER
Correct, Mindy. I was just drawing a parallel.
MINDY
Let’s go to the audience. Yes, ma’am, what’s your question for our little genius here?
WOMAN
Actually, my question is for him. Are you Gavin Winters, the actor?
JOAN
I’m going to start playing my song now. Hello, this is Joan Lennon on guitar.
MINDY
I thought you looked familiar.
JOAN
And Gavin will be singing. I mean, Kevin.
MINDY
It is you. Oh my. This is quite amazing, ladies and gentlemen.
[Guitar strumming]
MINDY
Let’s take a second and get everyone up to speed here. Some of you will remember a story on the news a few weeks back about an actor who set his house on fire and then quickly vanished from the public eye. Well, he’s just popped up on our stage—from TV’s The Long Arm, Mr. Gavin Winters! [Applause] We’ll get to our other whiz kids soon enough. But first, you’re not going to want to miss the very first interview with this reclusive star, which’ll be right after the break. Sit tight, everyone.
GAVIN
Let’s go, Joan.
[Cheers and applause]
MINDY
We’re back with Joan Sully and surprise guest Gavin Winters from the show The Long Arm, whose second season has been getting stellar reviews. Gavin, thanks for sticking around.
GAVIN
I didn’t want to. Joan wouldn’t leave.
MINDY
Gavin, let’s start with the main question on everyone’s mind: Where have you been?
GAVIN
[Expletive deleted]
MINDY
Please. This is a family show.
GAVIN
Look, I really shouldn’t be here.
MINDY
But you are. Come on, tell us, where have you been hiding the last few weeks?
GAVIN
I haven’t been hiding.
MINDY
You do understand, people have been wondering where you are.
GAVIN
Honestly, I haven’t paid attention. I’ve been here the whole time, staying with Joan’s family.
MINDY
Any particular reason why you left Los Angeles?
GAVIN
I felt like getting away for a while, that’s all.
MINDY
Could it have anything to do with you setting your house on fire a few weeks ago?
GAVIN
[Inaudible]
MINDY
What was that?
GAVIN
Maybe.
MINDY
Some say the video was staged. That it was just a ploy to boost ratings for The Long Arm. You’re laughing. Why is that?
GAVIN
The fire was real. I don’t care what at-KickingButtTakingDames says on Twitter. It had nothing to do with the show. If you want to know the truth, I was trying to burn all my boyfriend’s belongings.
MINDY
From what I understand, he died quite suddenly.
GAVIN
Well, yeah. I woke up one morning and he was just lying there on the living-room floor.
MINDY
I’m sorry for your loss. That must have been devastating.
GAVIN
Yes.
MINDY
So you came all the way to the East Coast for what? To get away? To spend time with friends?
GAVIN
That’s how it started, yeah. But then it turned into something different.
MINDY
What do you mean? What did it turn into?
GAVIN
Being home, in our house, was just impossible. I needed to get away from that. But then I got here and Joan had all these memories of him, memories I didn’t have.
MINDY
This Joan?
GAVIN
Yes, this Joan.
JOAN
Gavin didn’t want to hear the memories at first.
GAVIN
That’s true. But then Joan and I started talking. It actually felt kind of good.
MINDY
What did?
GAVIN
Remembering.
MINDY
Fascinating. Dr. Satcher, you look like you want to say something.
SATCHER
Sharing stories can have tremendous healing powers. We see it all the time with war veterans.
MINDY
Very good, Dr. Satcher. But Gavin, take us back to the night of the fire. Those of us who have lost loved ones can certainly appreciate the pain you were in, but what made you take that next step and just all of sudden want to burn everything?
GAVIN
Who knows? It hits you when it hits you.
MINDY
What hits you?
GAVIN
I don’t know, the unfairness of it all. Sydney shouldn’t have died. But what can I do about it? I burned it all because I didn’t know what else to do. It’s not rational. I never said it was. God, I can’t believe I’m spilling my guts to Mandy Love.
MINDY
It’s Mindy.
GAVIN
Sorry. Look, Sydney wasn’t a perfect man. Far from it. But he was good. He was good and he was positive and that’s such a hard thing to be. He was the kind of person people gravitated to. He always made you feel better. And he chose me to have a future with. Me. He wanted us to have a child. A baby. That’s all he wanted. For us to share that experience. He was willing to travel far and wide to make that happen. Whatever it took. But I didn’t believe. Not fully. I didn’t trust. That’s love, isn’t it? Trusting. Believing. I wanted the same things he wanted but I was scared. And for that I’m sorry. It’s something I’ll regret for as long as I live. And it’s hard, it’s very hard to…
MINDY
Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.
GAVIN
Really? Is this really happening? I’m crying on The Mandy Love Show?
MINDY
It’s Mindy.
GAVIN
Sorry. I really am sorry.
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