Four more hours to go.
Declan wouldn’t stop texting him. When you have a minute, give me a text. Ronan did not just give people texts. Hey I know you’re at school but maybe in between let me know. This was a lie, Declan’s superpower. He assumed Ronan was not at school. Hey I’m in town I need to talk to you.
This got Ronan’s attention. Now that Declan had graduated, he was generally safely stored two hours away in D.C., a distance that had, in Ronan’s estimation, improved their relationship in all the ways it could possibly be improved. He returned only for Sunday Mass, an extravagant four-hour round-trip that Matthew took for granted and Ronan only partially understood. Surely Declan had better things to be doing in D.eclan C.ity than spending half his day in a town he hated with a family he had never wanted to be a part of.
Ronan did not care for any of this. It made him feel as if he had won nothing over the summer. Back at Aglionby, his dreams fearful things, trying to avoid Declan.
Three more hours to go.
“Lynch,” said Jiang, passing him in the dining hall. “I thought you’d died.”
Ronan shot him a cool look. He didn’t want to see Jiang’s face unless it was behind the wheel of a car.
Two more hours to go.
Declan called during a guest presentation. The phone, on silent, hummed to itself. The sky outside was blue torn by clouds; Ronan longed to be out in it. His species died in captivity.
One more hour.
“I thought I was hallucinating,” Adam said, next to the lockers, an announcement droning on over the hall speakers. “Ronan Lynch in the halls of Aglionby.”
Ronan slammed his locker. He had not put anything in it and had no reason to open or close it, but he liked the satisfying bang of the metal down the hall, the way it drowned out the announcements. He did it again for good measure. “Is this a real conversation, Parrish?”
Adam didn’t bother to reply. He merely exchanged three textbooks for his gym hoodie.
Ronan wrenched his tie loose. “You working after school?”
“With a dreamer.”
He held Ronan’s gaze over his locker door.
School had improved.
Adam gently closed his locker. “I’m done at four thirty. If you’re up for brainstorming some repair of your dream forest. Unless you have homework.”
“Asshole,” Ronan said.
Adam smiled cheerily. Ronan would start wars and burn cities for that true smile, elastic and amiable.
Ronan’s good mood lasted only as long as the hallway and the set of stairs at the end of it, because outside, Declan’s sleek Volvo was parked on the kerb. Declan himself stood next to it, talking to Gansey. Gansey had dirt on the elbows of his uniform shirt – how he’d managed to get them so dirty during the course of the school day was mystifying to Ronan. Declan was dressed in a suit, but it never seemed like a special occasion when he did. He wore a suit the way other people wore pyjama bottoms.
They did not make words to measure Ronan’s hatred for his older brother, or vice versa. There was no unit of measurement for an emotion that was equal parts hatred and betrayal, judgement and habit.
Ronan pressed his hands into fists.
One of the back windows rolled down, revealing Matthew’s golden curls and pathologically sunny smile. He windmilled a single wave at Ronan.
It had been months since the three of them had been in the same place outside of a church.
“Ronan,” said Declan. The word was loaded with additional meaning: I see you’ve only just come out of school and already your uniform looks like hell; nothing is shocking here. He gestured to the Volvo. “Join me in my office.”
Ronan did not want to join him in his office. Ronan wanted to stop feeling like he had drunk battery acid.
“What do you need with Ronan?” Gansey asked. His “Ronan” was loaded with additional meaning, too: Was this prearranged and tell me what is happening and do you need me to intervene?
“Just a little family chat,” Declan said.
Ronan looked at Gansey entreatingly.
“Is it a family chat that could happen on the way to Fox Way?” Gansey asked, all polite power. “Because he and I were just headed over there.”
Ordinarily, Declan would have stepped off at the slightest pressure from Gansey, but he said, “Oh, I can drop him off there after we’re done. Just a few minutes.”
“Ronan!” Matthew reached his hand out the window towards Ronan. His ebullient “Ronan” was another version of please.
Trapped.
“Miseria fortes viros, Ronan,” Adam said.
When he said “Ronan,” it meant: Ronan.
“Asshole,” Ronan said again, but he felt a little better. He got in.
Once they were both in the car, Declan didn’t drive far, just to the other side of the parking lot, out of the way of departing cars and buses. He leaned back in his seat, eyes on Aglionby, looking nothing like their mother, only a little like their father. His eyes were pouched with fatigue.