“I don’t, either.” Slowly, I placed my hand on his chest again. Carl and Rosa wouldn’t be happy with it. Neither would Paige. And maybe this all was a little crazy, but I wanted this—wanted him. “Yes.”
The smile broke out across his face and he started to speak, but seemed to change his mind. Without saying a word, he lowered his head and he kissed me—my third ever kiss—and it felt just as right and perfect and complete as the first and second one.
And when he lifted his mouth from mine, he pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me, and I went, holding him just as tightly as he was holding me. I pressed my cheek to his heart, and pushed everything with Jayden aside for the moment. I focused on Rider and me, and what was happening here and what it meant.
Because this...this was a beginning.
Chapter 25
Ainsley clutched the bowl of popcorn to her chest as she stared at me from the foot of my bed. Only the kernels were left, but Ainsley liked to root around for the half-popped ones. I had no idea how she didn’t crack her teeth gnawing on those things.
It was Sunday evening, less than twenty-four hours after Rider and I kissed, after Jayden showed up and after we went from friends reunited to definitely not just friends.
Boyfriend.
Girlfriend.
Even though I’d been present for all of that, I had no idea how it all happened. A hyena-like squeal built in my throat and I resisted the urge to bury my face in the pillow that lay in my lap.
“Back up,” Ainsley said, blue eyes glimmering. “You told me a lot. Everything. But I have to go back to something. He drew a heart between your names?”
I nodded.
“For real? Oh my God, Mal. That’s so corny, but so cute, so it strikes out the corniness and just makes me swoon.”
It made me swoon, too.
“I told you it seemed like he really liked you. And he didn’t even do what other guys do, like pretend that he wasn’t into you. He put it all out there,” she continued as she fished out a half-popped kernel and chomped down on it. “It’s like a fairy tale.”
My brows rose.
“It is!” she insisted, pausing to crack down on the kernel. “You guys grew up together, and he was like your white knight. Then you were separated and then brought back together. It doesn’t even seem real.”
“It doesn’t.” I pulled the pillow to my chest. “I almost don’t know...what to think of it.”
“Just think it’s amazing. Because it is.” She tucked her hair back behind her ear. “That’s all you have to think about.”
A little bit of reality seeped in. “But Paige...”
“They were broken up, apparently for a week, so it’s not like you broke them up.” She paused, scrunching her nose. “Actually, you kind of did break them up, but not on purpose. I doubt this Paige girl will see it that way, but whatever. Not your problem.”
I so dreaded the moment Paige realized that Rider and I were, well, a thing. “I told Rosa this morning that Rider and I...that we were seeing each other. The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing.” I flushed. “I don’t think she was upset about it or really happy about it. Carl hasn’t said anything, but...”
“But he probably will and it will probably be super awkward. You’ve just got to give them time,” she replied rather sagely. “It’s your first real relationship.”
“I just... I don’t know. It just feels like there is more...to it,” I said.
Ainsley studied me for a moment. “Don’t stress over Carl and Rosa.”
“I’m—”
“And don’t say you aren’t going to stress over it. You stress over everything.” She smiled while I snapped my mouth shut. “Sometimes you’re so stuck in your own head that you’re not— Well, you’re not really living.”
My brows rose.
She glanced down at the bowl of popcorn. “Please don’t take that the wrong way. It’s just that I think sometimes you miss what’s going on around you, because you’re so worried about what others are thinking about you and your choices.”
I wanted to argue against that, but I couldn’t. “You’re right.” She was so right, because I constantly worried about what Carl and Rosa thought, what even Ainsley thought, and then Rider and Keira, Jo, Mr. Santos... The list went on and on.
“I know,” she chirped, and then she sobered. “It’s really sad about the stuff with Jayden.”
Typical Ainsley, moving from one conversation to the next. I fiddled with the hem of my pants. “He was so...beat up.”
“It doesn’t seem like Rider is heavily involved in whatever is going on.” She set the bowl aside, next to her book bag. She’d come over Sunday afternoon under the guise of studying alongside me. We hadn’t even opened a textbook. “Still, it was sad and scary.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed with Rider not being involved. Yes, it had nothing to do with me, but Rider had been involved and I doubted he would stay out of it if things continued to go bad for Jayden. It just wasn’t in Rider’s nature. He had a near suicidal hero complex.