The Problem with Forever

I followed Rider out of the cafeteria, curious about where he was leading us. We passed the gym. Doors were open, and I thought I caught a glimpse of Hector jogging, a basketball in his hands as he shouted something in what sounded like Spanish but was slightly different. Rosa had said it was Puerto Rican, and I was going to have to take her word for it.

“I have A lunch, but I heard you had B,” Rider said, slowing down his walk so I fell in step beside him. “Remember the guy who was sitting in front of us in speech class yesterday? The ass in the car? That’s Hector, and he has a younger brother that you apparently ran into yesterday, Jayden. He was in the car, too. Anyway, Jayden said he saw you in the hallway yesterday during B lunch.”

Even though I already knew that, I didn’t say anything. The whole time he spoke as we walked down the hall, I kept stealing quick glances at him. To the point I was surprised I didn’t walk into anything.

“So in case you’re wondering—” he paused, opening the doors to the outside pavilion “—yeah, I’m skipping class right now.”

My jaw unhinged. “Rider.”

He held the door open, head cocked to the side as I walked through. I stopped, because...well, because he was just standing there, with our plate and drinks. His eyes searched mine. “You know, hearing you say my name isn’t something I ever expected to hear again. I don’t give a shit about missing one class if that means we get to catch up a little.”

When he started walking toward an empty stone picnic set, my tongue finally came unglued from the roof of my mouth. “You...you won’t get in trouble?”

Glancing over his shoulder, he shrugged. “Worth it.”

That didn’t reassure me, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t do a happy set of jumping jacks this time. He placed our stuff on the table and then sat, straddling the bench. Patting the spot next to him, he grinned.

I dropped my bag on the tan pavers and as I swung a leg over the bench, I stopped to look at him. He was watching me through thick lashes, head still tilted, grinning so that lone dimple was begging to be touched. I realized that this was the first moment Rider and I had been alone. No prying eyes. No adults watching over us. No one walking past us as there had been in the parking lot yesterday. We were alone, just him and me, like it had been so many times in the past.

I don’t know why I did what I did next, but a decade of emotion swirled up inside me. Maybe it had to do with everything he’d done for me in the past. Maybe it was just because he was sitting right there and we were in the present.

And I never felt more present than I did in that moment.

Bending over, I wrapped my arms around his wide shoulders and I squeezed him. Probably the lamest hug in history, but it felt good. It felt magnificent when he rose up a little and circled his arms around my waist. His hug was better.

When I pulled back, his hands slid off my waist, to my hips, and lingered for a moment. A strange sensation curled low in my stomach. He let go, but the heated awareness remained. “What was that for?”

Shrugging, I sat, tucking both legs under the table. My face was hot. “I...I just wanted to.”

“Well, you can do that whenever you want to. I don’t mind.”

I grinned at him, and when he chuckled, another strange thing happened. I shivered. I wasn’t cold, actually quite the opposite.

“Mouse...”

Our gazes collided, and dammit, it was like suddenly being thirteen again, sneaking food in a world that was just Rider and me, except we were older now, and it wasn’t just him and me against the world. I wasn’t a little girl. He wasn’t a boy. And back then he’d been... Well, he had been mine. It wasn’t like that now. He had a girlfriend who thought I was mute, for starters.

That realization really was like a kick to the stomach.

So I probably needed to stop with the hugs. The weird curling-stomach feelings. And most definitely the shivers. All of that needed to stop. The way my lips curved up at the corners wasn’t going anywhere, though.

“You have to tell me what you’ve been doing all this time.” He pushed one of the slices toward me and then handed over a napkin I hadn’t even seen him grab.

The grin I was wearing like a dork spread as he did what I’d known he was going to. Picked up the pepperoni, eating the slices before he ate the pizza.

He cast me a sidelong glance, voice patient as it had ever been while he finished off the pepperoni. “Mouse.”

My gaze flickered up to the scar above his eyebrow and my smile faded a little. I focused on the slice of pizza and took a deep breath. “That night... Um, the last night, I met someone in the hospital. Carlos Rivas—Carl. He was...is a burn specialist.”

Grabbing the milk, he peeled it open with long fingers. I noticed what looked like red ink on the inside of his pointer finger. He handed the carton over to me, and I continued. “He’s married to Rosa. She’s a heart surgeon. They...both worked at the hospital, and I think CPS told them I was...mute or that something was wrong with me.”