Pressing my lips together, I nodded.
“There are probably going to be...things there I need you to handle with maturity,” she said, and Carl squeezed his eyes tight. “Be responsible with Rider.”
I blushed as I thought about all the ways I could be irresponsible with him.
“No drinking. No drugs,” she added.
“Of course,” I immediately responded, and that was also true. I had no plan to partake in illegal substances at my first party. Goodness, I was already a dork most of the times. I didn’t need to be a drunk or high dork.
Carl opened his eyes, but he still looked like he was about to stroke out.
“We’re going to trust you with this, Mallory.” Rosa smiled, and I wanted to smile, too. “And trust is a big deal. Don’t let us down.”
“I won’t,” I promised, and then I did smile, glancing at Carl. He appeared to have aged about twenty years. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he replied. “This is all on Rosa.”
“Hush it,” she replied with a grin and then winked at me.
My smile grew and I could not wait to tell Ainsley and Rider the party was a go, but...but a little nugget of worry formed deep in my belly. Part of me hadn’t expected them to agree, and now that they had, there was still a little part of me that wished they’d change their minds.
*
I was smiling as I zipped up my bag before lunch on Friday. Rider had taken a different route between classes just so he could catch me outside my locker to give me a kiss.
My lips still tingled minutes after he’d sauntered off to get to class. I might’ve still been a little embarrassed at the PDA, but it occurred to me as I swapped out my morning books that the things that stressed me out at the beginning of the school year—things like the prospect of being late to class, having nowhere to sit during lunch or not having anyone to talk to—weren’t things I actually worried about anymore.
Now I worried about the exam in calculus next week and what I was going to wear Saturday night. I slung my now much-lighter bag over my shoulder and turned around. My step faltered as I saw Paige coming down the hall with another girl. Paige’s smile slipped off her face when she spotted me.
Crap.
I started walking, pretending as if she wasn’t there. Her steps slowed as she neared me. Then she stopped right in front of me.
Tension poured into my shoulders.
“I’ll meet up with you later,” she said to her friend while she stared at me. “You and I need to talk.”
Pressing my lips together, I inhaled through my nose. This day had been coming. I knew it. And the longer it had gone without Paige saying something to me, the more I hoped she wouldn’t. Hoping was stupid.
She crossed her arms over her chest as she eyed me. No book bag. I wondered if she was supposed to be in class. “I bet you’re happy now, aren’t you? You waltz right back into his life and become the center of his universe like before. Poor little Mouse needed him and he dropped my ass in a heartbeat.”
I wasn’t the center of his universe.
I wasn’t poor little Mouse anymore.
And “dropping” her had been hard for him. Hadn’t he told me how much he hated hurting her?
I didn’t say any of those things, though, because the seal was in my throat, cutting off all words.
Paige laughed under her breath as she shook her head. “You know, this is unbelievable. He left me for this.” She laughed again. “Whatever. Part of me wants to beat your ass down, right here.”
My stomach dropped.
“And I could. What would happen? I’d get suspended. Big deal. Wouldn’t be the first time. But I’m not going to. You know why?”
I didn’t know why, but I was relieved to hear that.
“Rider would never speak to me again if I did something like that. He’d never—” Her voice cracked. A fine sheen covered her eyes. “He’d never forgive me. He might’ve dropped my ass, but I still care about him. I won’t do that to him.”
Those...those were tears in her eyes.
Oh my God.
“But you know what?” she said. “You’re too good for him now.”
The seal dropped and I wasn’t thinking about her having tears in her eyes. “I am not too good for him.”
Surprise flickered across Paige’s face.
“Because I’m not better than him,” I continued. “He’s not...below me or anyone.”
“No. You misunderstood me,” she said, lowering her voice. “You knew Rider. Knew him. And that was a lifetime ago for both of you. Sooner or later, you’re going to realize that, probably when you’re sitting in your nice house in your perfect little neighborhood. Or maybe when you’re in college and he’s looking for a place to live. At some point you’re going to realize all you two have in common is your past and when you do, you’re going to break his heart.”
I stepped forward. This was what she’d meant in speech, when she’d told me someday I’d let him down. “You’re...wrong.”
She blinked.