“Grace,” I said, wanting to physically take her face in my hands and make her look at me, and only stopping myself because I knew she was in defense mode. “I don’t know what Shelby told you, but Evie and I were never together.”
“I know,” she whispered, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth her eyes snapped up to meet mine. “Actually, I don’t know, because you didn’t tell me. And that’s what really bothered me.” Her eyes darted back and forth between mine and it looked as though she were gathering her courage, like she was building up some sort of strength. It was both exhilarating and terrifying to watch, because I knew whatever she had coming, she was aiming for me. “Listen, my ex-husband did a number on me, and in the end I looked like a fool. The last thing I wanted was to go through that again. So yes, anger was my first reaction to learning that you’d had some sort of romantic thing happening with the woman I’d spent a day at Disney befriending. The woman who is like an aunt to your kids. And listen,? she said, holding up a hand in front of my face when I tried to interject. “I like Evie, I can see why you’d be attracted to her, not to mention she’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. So I can’t blame you there. It just made me feel really foolish not to know. Like it was a big joke everyone was in on, except for me.”
At that point I did reach out and gently take her face in my hands, scooting closer and looking her in the eye.
“The last thing I ever want to do is make you feel anything but happy.” My words earned me the tiniest smile, but I couldn’t stop. I had to keep going. “I would have told you about Evie eventually, but Disney didn’t seem like the time or place. And since then, well, every time we’ve been together something has happened. But, believe me, I would have told you. I wasn’t trying to keep you in the dark.” I paused, sweeping both my thumbs over her cheeks. “Evie isn’t a dark secret. She’s not something to tuck away. She’s important to me and to my kids. But, Grace, you don’t have to worry about my relationship with her.”
“Will you tell me about her?” she asked shyly, her voice nothing but a whisper.
“Yes, of course. I’ll tell you anything.” I took a breath, trying to mentally put all the pieces of Evie and me together in the correct order. There were so many edges of us that never fit just right together, nothing like Grace and me. We relaxed back onto our own sides of the bed, and she looked at me expectantly, begging me with her eyes not to hurt her. “I met Evie one day in college. Some guy bumped into her and soaked her shirt, so I gave her mine. We were young and, sure, there was an attraction there, but we both went our separate ways. A week later I met Olivia. A few weeks after, Olivia and I were already together and I realized her best friend was Evie. Evie and I both knew we’d been attracted to each other. It was a strange situation, to say the least, but the pull to Olivia, for me, was bigger than my attraction to Evie. There was never any question that I would be faithful to her.” I took another deep breath. I knew the hardest part of the story was coming, and I wanted to make her realize that even though my past with Evie was complicated and messy, our relationship now was simple, easy, and completely platonic.
“But after Olivia passed away, Evie and I fell into a new sort of relationship. She was there for me, there to help with the kids, and she made everything easier. I’ll admit I used her to put off dealing with Olivia’s death. Evie was there and she’d stepped right into Olivia’s role. She didn’t do it on purpose, she wasn’t trying to take her place, she was just trying to help.” I ran my hand down my face, bracing myself for the worst part of the story.
“You can tell me,” Grace whispered. I looked at her and saw wide eyes staring back. She looked open, and I felt as though I could tell her anything. And then, more than ever, I needed to tell her. I needed her to know everything so that whatever we had, whatever could grow between us, had a fighting chance.
“One night, I came home from work, and I don’t know what I was thinking, but I saw her there and my instincts took over. I went to her, wrapped my arm around her, then I think I might have kissed her on the cheek. The point was, I’m sure part of me thought it was Liv, like there’d been some miracle and my wife was standing in the kitchen making dinner just like she had for so many years. But there was definitely a part of me that knew it was Evie and wanted her, if only for just a moment.”