“Anna, you have to trust me. Things are going to be different this time. You’ll see.”
Sure thing, Mom. Though Mom kept talking —all afternoon and into the evening —I stopped listening. Truth is, I’d grown tired of her defense of the indefensible. She fully embraced the life I was determined to escape. It was the only thing she knew. But I’d glimpsed something different, something I liked much better. I now craved affirmation, encouragement, and freedom because I experienced them all on a regular basis in my new life. My old life in the polygamist cult was oppressive, and I knew things would never be different, unless they got worse. Eventually, Mom gave up trying to convince me to come back with her and left.
The next day at school, I was called out of class by my classroom supervisor and told to go to the main office. The school secretary, a lovely brunette with a kind smile, asked me to have a seat in her office. I noticed a few other staff members present, all with serious looks on their faces.
“Anna, I just got off the phone with your sister Lillian.”
My mind raced. Has something bad happened? What’s wrong? Please tell me.
“She told me your mother came to town looking for you. Apparently she wants you to live with her in Denver.”
I nodded, then chewed my bottom lip.
“Lillian said you don’t want to move to Denver, though.”
“Actually, if I went, I would be moving back to Denver. We moved to Houston from Denver. And no, ma’am, I don’t want to move back. I like it a lot better here.”
The giant smile, with those beautiful white teeth, flashed at me again. “I’m glad you feel so comfortable here. Um, unfortunately, we have a little problem.”
Oh no! They’re going to have to send me back because that’s what my mom wants. I laced my fingers together and bounced my hands up and down in my lap.
The secretary continued. “It’s our job here at Spring Branch Church of God Academy to protect all of our students. That includes you. So our administrative staff will have to ensure that our doors are always locked when you’re here. Just for the next few days until your mom leaves town. Your mom or someone else could come to the school to try to take you to Denver. So for your protection, as well as the other students and our faculty, we need to take this precaution.”
I sighed in relief. They weren’t kicking me out. They were trying to keep me safe. They wanted me to stay. I beamed back at her. “Sounds good to me.” I had no idea how good it was.
Later that night, Lillian clued me in on what had happened to Marilyn. Mom and another person from the cult had driven from Denver, resolved to take Marilyn and me back with them —by force, if necessary. They found Marilyn first, and she made it clear she wasn’t about to go with them. Not only was she a strong-willed teenager, but she was also fit enough to physically fight them off. I’m so glad that didn’t happen to me. Based on my weak-kneed reaction and the crippling fear I’d experienced just seeing Mom outside Lillian’s house, I wasn’t sure that I would have had the strength to stop them from abducting me.
AFTER MOM RETURNED to Denver without either Marilyn or me, life settled into a nice routine of school, work, homework, and taking care of Mark and Lillian’s kids. For the first time in my life, I felt normal. I could hardly believe the difference as I walked into Spring Branch Church of God Academy each weekday. Following the incident with Mom, all the teachers knew my story, but they didn’t treat me as odd because of it. Instead, they treated me with kindness —an intentional outpouring of thoughtfulness and care —from the first moment. I’d never been on the receiving end of such love. Their eyes showed they cared, and their words were understanding and compassionate.
The same was true of my fellow students. They made me feel welcome at school and invited me into their circle of friends. The small school had fewer than a hundred students in K–12, so we all got to know each other well. Plus, the families all attended the same tiny Church of God, a requirement for a having a student enrolled in the school. In this tight-knit community, everybody knew everybody, but more important, we had each other’s backs. I became fast friends with siblings Madlin and Alex Campbell, as well as Michelle Carpus and David Heyen.
My new girlfriends invited me to go with them to the youth retreat planned for Thanksgiving weekend, just a few weeks away. As Lillian drove us home from the appliance store that evening, I began to think through how to ask her if I could go to the retreat. I just needed to find the right moment. Even though my free time was limited because of school and work, I still longed to join my new friends.
Lillian looked more fatigued than usual as she tried to finish dinner and deal with the babies. After dinner, I took the kids off her hands, put them in a bath —which always settled them —and helped get them ready for bed. I knew it was now or never to make my request. Lillian was in the living room, where a laundry basket full of clean clothes waited for me. As I picked a shirt out of the basket and began folding it, I seized the opportunity. My heart was beating fast as I tried to find the words to ask Lillian about the retreat, knowing it would be a sacrifice on her part if she agreed.
“I like my new school a lot. The teachers and kids are really nice to me.”
Lillian looked at me. “I’m so glad to hear that. Mark and I both think it will be a good situation for you.”
“I do too.” I paused and cleared my throat, which had suddenly gone dry. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure. What’s going on?”
“Well, there’s a youth retreat coming up . . .”
“I heard about that at church on Sunday,” she said.
I grabbed a pair of jeans and quickly folded them. “I’d kind of like to go.”
I was afraid to see Lillian’s expression, so I averted my eyes and began to sort the socks. My head and heart willed Lillian to say yes, or at least say she’d think about it and talk to Mark. I viewed the long weekend away as an opportunity to get away from the endless work at the store and at home with all the children. I desperately needed the break, but I also knew this would be a privilege.
When Lillian didn’t say anything, I glanced up. A faint smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I think that would be okay. Do you have any more information about it?”
I told Lillian how much the retreat cost, but quickly added, “I don’t have the full amount right now, but if you would loan me the money, I’ll pay it back with my earnings.”
“Let me talk to Mark, and I’ll let you know one way or the other.”
The next morning at breakfast, I tried to be as helpful as possible —again, hoping my efforts might be worthy of some time off.