I closed my eyes and sucked in a steadying breath before blowing it out. When I opened my eyes, Evie was crawling backward to lean against the headboard, looking miserable.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, shaking her head as she toyed with the edge of the sheet. “I don’t know what came over me.”
It was you who came over me, I almost snapped back. But damn if I would change that. She’d been so hot, so ready . . .
This was Evie. Cullen’s little sister.
I bent over and searched the floor until I found a discarded bathrobe she must have worn for the walk from her room to mine.
“Here,” I said, irritated to find my voice still husky with need.
I yanked off the barely used condom and pulled on a pair of boxers while I waited with my back turned until she’d shrugged on the robe I’d given her.
“Okay, you can turn around,” she said softly.
I did, and sat on the edge of the bed, my mind still reeling. “What were you thinking, Evie?” I was dying to know.
Her throat worked as she swallowed hard. “I’m grown now, Smith. I’m an adult, and I don’t know what it feels like to be with a real lover. That’s ridiculous. I made a plan, and this is what I wanted.”
“So, why me?”
She shrugged and looked away. “Because I like you. I trust you. And I admire you. So, why not you?”
There were worse reasons, I couldn’t deny that, and her words took the edge off my anger. I almost wanted to pull her in and give her a hug, but my dick had finally stopped throbbing and I wasn’t about to poke the bear.
“I just want to be part of the real world and start experiencing life. I was always on you guys for trying new things and being so daring. I sort of wished I could be like that for once.”
I wished it too. Especially now that I’d had a taste of her.
“Your brother would hate me. And he might even kill me,” I said, holding her wide-eyed gaze. “But I think you’re gorgeous, and whoever you wind up doing this with is a lucky son of a bitch.”
Oddly, in that moment, I hated the motherfucker, and he was only hypothetical. I shoved aside the ridiculous feeling and pressed on.
“Anyway, as much as I would love to show you the ropes, it can’t happen between us. But this doesn’t change anything. You and I are still friends for life, all right?”
“Yeah, okay.” She nodded and eyed me for a long moment. “So, probably bad timing, but . . . what am I going to do now?”
I scrubbed a hand over my face and shrugged helplessly. “You know what, Evie? Maybe talk to a friend or a pastor, someone like that. I don’t think we should be having this conversation, regardless of what just happened. Let’s get things back on the right track. The friend track.”
“Sure, no, I know,” she said, pushing herself to her feet and nodding furiously. “I should go anyway. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow. And look, I’m really sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Forgiven,” I said as I walked her to the door.
But not forgotten.
She stepped into the hallway and gave me a tiny wave before scurrying down the hall and disappearing into the elevator.
Now all I had to do was fall asleep and not dream about Little Evie Reed, who had just rocked my fucking world. Because if I couldn’t get her out of my head and her brother found out?
I’d be a dead man.
Chapter Five
So. Embarrassed.
I was embarrassed at Smith’s stinging rejection, but ten thousand times worse than that? My own idiotic behavior. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been. I’d failed spectacularly last night, and the sting of white-hot shame was burning a hole in my chest.
I winced as I rolled out of bed. Jeez. I hadn’t even technically had sex, but my vagina didn’t know it. I was sore and tender deep inside. And not to mention filled with regrets.
Seriously, who botches their first (okay, second) time so badly they can’t convince the guy to follow through?
Barefoot, I padded toward the bathroom and shed my pajamas while I waited for the water to heat. Utterly ashamed of myself, I shampooed, conditioned, and scrubbed until I was pink all over.
I’d sobbed quietly last night when I got back to my room until I’d cried myself to sleep. But today was a new day, and thankfully, I didn’t have to face Smith. It was the only silver lining in this shit show.